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Cards

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    THAT YOU FOR

    Cards
    Inside: Being fucking awesome.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    PAPER RULES

    Cards
    Inside: Option 4. Hand them this greeting card + a six-pack. (The six-pack could be beer or doughnuts. Or both or neither.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    GIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS

    Birthday
    Inside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    LITTLE ASSHOLE THINGS

    Cards
    Inside: Don't be an asshole.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    SASSY ASSHOLE

    Cards
    Inside: Reason 3. Because the word congratulations is so long that people hate writing it out themselves + they'd much rather just buy a card that spells it out for them.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    FUCKING BIRTHDAY CARDS

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. It likely means that I was invited to a celebration of some sort. (That means being around people.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    GETTING OLDER

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. This is total bullshit. Getting older sucks. (Your body aches, your knees make noises + you sag a little more + more with each passing year.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    SNAIL MAIL IS THE BEST

    Birthday
    Inside: 3. Go out of your way to purchase them a birthday card in advance. Write a message, sign your name and mail or hand deliver the card to the birthday person. (Yes, this piece of paper that you spent money on will end up getting tossed, but the birthday person will know that, without a doubt, you are better than the folks that only did #1 or #2.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    TOO MUCH LOVE

    Cards
    Front: Time to buy gifts for everyone we love. Inside: Fuck. We love too many people.
    $5.50
  • Out Of Stock
    Quick View

    BULLSHIT

    Cards
    Front: Another holiday season. Inside: This is bullshit.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    HOLIDAY HOLIDAY

    Christmas
    Inside: Tip 3. Send out passive aggressive cards "joking" about how you hate the holidays. (Is it a joke? Or not? Best just keep to yourself.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    CREDIT THEFT

    Christmas
    Inside: You get to run around like crazy making sure the day is special for your family, but with zero credit because of "Santa." (Don't forget to buy a special role of "Santa" wrapping paper.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    TREE TRIMMING TIME

    Cards
    Front: Time to trim the tree. Inside: And some people outta my life.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    BIG ONE

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. You're getting pretty old, so you should celebrate while you still can. (Did you know that statistically you are 14% more likely to die on your birthday than any other day? Try not to party that hard.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    CAKE MAKES IT BETTER

    Birthday
    Inside: Step 3. That's it... The cake will make you happy. (You make also experience feelings of guilt + disgust.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    ANTI SOCIAL TIME

    Birthday
    Inside: Follow this advice and you'll have a happy birthday. (All thanks to the genius greeting card writer that wrote this card and the brilliant person that chose it.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    CRAZY BABY

    Cards
    Inside: Thing 4. They can rip your vagina apart during delivery, but you'll love that little bugger more than anything in the world. (Or they can be forcefully cut from your stomach while you're awake... either way, you'll need stitches, but you won't care cause you love them.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    JUST DON’T KILL IT

    Cards
    Inside: Tip 4. Talk to your parents + grandparents. (Want to feel better about being a parent? Ask an older generation about how they took care of babies. They did some crazy shit and still managed to keep your family tree going.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    DAMAGED GOODS

    Box Sets
    The "Damaged Goods" include a random mix of 10 of our greeting cards (and 10 envelopes) for only $10.00 (that's 80% off regular price)! Sound too good to be true?  Well, there is a catch!.... The cards are all slightly damaged (hence the name).
    $10.00
  • Quick View

    FIGHT CLUB

    Cards
    Front: I heard Mr. and Mrs. Claus are fighting. Inside: They're members of the North Pole fight club.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    THE BIG O

    Cards
    Front: All I want for Christmas is you. Inside: And a really big orgasm.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    SNOW DAY

    Cards
    Front: Let it snow. Let it snow. Let it snow. Inside: As long as I don't have to drive anywhere.
    $5.50
  • Out Of Stock
    Quick View

    UGHXMAS

    Cards
    Front: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Inside: Ugh.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    ONLY ME

    Cards
    Front: We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. Inside: Well, I do. The rest of my family doesn't give a crap.
    $5.50

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  • Quick View

    THAT YOU FOR

    Cards
    Inside: Being fucking awesome.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    PAPER RULES

    Cards
    Inside: Option 4. Hand them this greeting card + a six-pack. (The six-pack could be beer or doughnuts. Or both or neither.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    GIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS

    Birthday
    Inside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    LITTLE ASSHOLE THINGS

    Cards
    Inside: Don't be an asshole.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    SASSY ASSHOLE

    Cards
    Inside: Reason 3. Because the word congratulations is so long that people hate writing it out themselves + they'd much rather just buy a card that spells it out for them.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    FUCKING BIRTHDAY CARDS

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. It likely means that I was invited to a celebration of some sort. (That means being around people.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    GETTING OLDER

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. This is total bullshit. Getting older sucks. (Your body aches, your knees make noises + you sag a little more + more with each passing year.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    SNAIL MAIL IS THE BEST

    Birthday
    Inside: 3. Go out of your way to purchase them a birthday card in advance. Write a message, sign your name and mail or hand deliver the card to the birthday person. (Yes, this piece of paper that you spent money on will end up getting tossed, but the birthday person will know that, without a doubt, you are better than the folks that only did #1 or #2.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    TOO MUCH LOVE

    Cards
    Front: Time to buy gifts for everyone we love. Inside: Fuck. We love too many people.
    $5.50
  • Out Of Stock
    Quick View

    BULLSHIT

    Cards
    Front: Another holiday season. Inside: This is bullshit.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    HOLIDAY HOLIDAY

    Christmas
    Inside: Tip 3. Send out passive aggressive cards "joking" about how you hate the holidays. (Is it a joke? Or not? Best just keep to yourself.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    CREDIT THEFT

    Christmas
    Inside: You get to run around like crazy making sure the day is special for your family, but with zero credit because of "Santa." (Don't forget to buy a special role of "Santa" wrapping paper.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    TREE TRIMMING TIME

    Cards
    Front: Time to trim the tree. Inside: And some people outta my life.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    BIG ONE

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. You're getting pretty old, so you should celebrate while you still can. (Did you know that statistically you are 14% more likely to die on your birthday than any other day? Try not to party that hard.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    CAKE MAKES IT BETTER

    Birthday
    Inside: Step 3. That's it... The cake will make you happy. (You make also experience feelings of guilt + disgust.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    ANTI SOCIAL TIME

    Birthday
    Inside: Follow this advice and you'll have a happy birthday. (All thanks to the genius greeting card writer that wrote this card and the brilliant person that chose it.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    CRAZY BABY

    Cards
    Inside: Thing 4. They can rip your vagina apart during delivery, but you'll love that little bugger more than anything in the world. (Or they can be forcefully cut from your stomach while you're awake... either way, you'll need stitches, but you won't care cause you love them.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    JUST DON’T KILL IT

    Cards
    Inside: Tip 4. Talk to your parents + grandparents. (Want to feel better about being a parent? Ask an older generation about how they took care of babies. They did some crazy shit and still managed to keep your family tree going.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    DAMAGED GOODS

    Box Sets
    The "Damaged Goods" include a random mix of 10 of our greeting cards (and 10 envelopes) for only $10.00 (that's 80% off regular price)! Sound too good to be true?  Well, there is a catch!.... The cards are all slightly damaged (hence the name).
    $10.00
  • Quick View

    FIGHT CLUB

    Cards
    Front: I heard Mr. and Mrs. Claus are fighting. Inside: They're members of the North Pole fight club.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    THE BIG O

    Cards
    Front: All I want for Christmas is you. Inside: And a really big orgasm.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    SNOW DAY

    Cards
    Front: Let it snow. Let it snow. Let it snow. Inside: As long as I don't have to drive anywhere.
    $5.50
  • Out Of Stock
    Quick View

    UGHXMAS

    Cards
    Front: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Inside: Ugh.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    ONLY ME

    Cards
    Front: We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. Inside: Well, I do. The rest of my family doesn't give a crap.
    $5.50
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