Cards
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PICKY NOSE PICKER
Front: Gift cards are the perfect gift. Inside: For people that are too damn picky.Front: Gift cards are the perfect gift.
Inside: For people that are too damn picky. -
FUCKING BIRTHDAY
Front: Heard that you're celebrating a big day. Inside: Happy fucking birthday.Front: Heard that you’re celebrating a big day.
Inside: Happy fucking birthday. -
DAY DRINK DAY DRUNK
Front: Got big birthday plans? Inside: Or another night of drinking alone?Front: Got big birthday plans?
Inside: Or another night of drinking alone? -
NETFLIX, CARD, AND CHILL
Front: You deserve a huge birthday celebration. Inside: But I'm just giving you a card and buying take-out.Front: You deserve a huge birthday celebration.
Inside: But I’m just giving you a card and buying take-out. -
SILVER SHORT CURLY
Front: Getting older isn't so bad. Inside: Until the first grey pubic hair arrives.Front: Getting older isn’t so bad.
Inside: Until the first grey pubic hair arrives. -
BEST GIFT OF ALL
Front: Happy birthday to my dearest love. Inside: Instead of a gift can I just go down on you?Front: Happy birthday to my dearest love.
Inside: Instead of a gift can I just go down on you? -
ALL ABOUT YOU
Front: Today is all about you. Inside: You're so selfish.Front: Today is all about you.
Inside: You’re so selfish. -
TOO OLD FOR THAT SHIT
Front: Birthdays are a time to party. Inside: Too bad we're too old for that shit.Front: Birthdays are a time to party.
Inside: Too bad we’re too old for that shit. -
OUT AND PROUD
Front: Congratulations on coming out. Inside: I'm fucking proud of you.Front: Congratulations on coming out.
Inside: I’m fucking proud of you. -
PRIDE BOT
Front: Love who you wanna love. Inside: I really don't give a shit.Front: Love who you wanna love.
Inside: I really don’t give a shit. -
UNDERWEAR DON’T CARE
Front: You're the best. Inside: No matter what's in those undies.Front: You’re the best.
Inside: No matter what’s in those undies. -
SAME OLD JERK
Front: New name. New pronoun. Inside: Same old jerk on the inside.Front: New name. New pronoun.
Inside: Same old jerk on the inside. -
MR. AND MR. ASSHOLE
Front: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs. Inside: You two bitches deserve each other.Front: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs.
Inside: You two bitches deserve each other. -
MRS. AND MRS. BITCH
Front: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs. Inside: You two bitches deserve each other.Front: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs.
Inside: You two bitches deserve each other. -
FAKE NEWS
Front: Congratulations. Inside: That's fucking awesome news.Front: Congratulations.
Inside: That’s fucking awesome news. -
GET YOUR FAT ASS OVER HERE
Front: The stockings are hung by the mantel with care. Inside: Now we're just waiting for Santa's fat ass.Front: The stockings are hung by the mantel with care.
Inside: Now we’re just waiting for Santa’s fat ass.