Birthday
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NO CASH VALUE
Front: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Inside: But I don't want to put a dollar value on our relationship.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Everyone loves getting money in a card.
Inside: But I don’t want to put a dollar value on our relationship. -
TOO MUCH MOOLA
Front: We found you the perfect birthday gift. Inside: It was expensive. So we didn't buy it.$5.00 Add to cartFront: We found you the perfect birthday gift.
Inside: It was expensive. So we didn’t buy it. -
CRAZY SHIT
Front: You deserve to be celebrated. Inside: You do a lot of crazy shit... And you're still alive.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You deserve to be celebrated.
Inside: You do a lot of crazy shit… And you’re still alive. -
COME CUM
Front: Your birthday is coming... Inside: And I will make you cum on your birthday.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Your birthday is coming…
Inside: And I will make you cum on your birthday. -
GIMME CAKE
Front: Thanks for inviting me to your birthday party. Inside: Now where's the cake?Front: Thanks for inviting me to your birthday party.
Inside: Now where’s the cake?$5.00$2.00 Select options -
STOP GETTING OLD
Front: Every year you get older. Inside: And every year I like you less.Front: Every year you get older.
Inside: And every year I like you less.$5.00$2.50 Add to cart -
NOT AN AGELESS BEAUTY
Front: You haven't aged a day since we met. Inside: But you looked old back then.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You haven’t aged a day since we met.
Inside: But you looked old back then. -
CARD CARD GIFT CARD
Front: Want your birthday gift? Inside: Here's a gift card. Go get it.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Want your birthday gift?
Inside: Here’s a gift card. Go get it. -
NATALIE LIKES OWLS
Front: You're a real hoot. Inside: Oops, I mean ho. You're a real ho.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You’re a real hoot.
Inside: Oops, I mean ho. You’re a real ho. -
MISTAKES HAPPEN
Front: Let's celebrate your birth. Inside: Even though you were an unplanned pregnancy.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Let’s celebrate your birth.
Inside: Even though you were an unplanned pregnancy. -
WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY
Front: It's your birthday. Inside: Or was your birthday? Or is almost your birthday? When the fuck is your birthday?$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s your birthday.
Inside: Or was your birthday? Or is almost your birthday? When the fuck is your birthday? -
DEFINITELY TOO OLD
Front: A piece of birthday advice for you? Back: Start lying about your age.$5.00 Add to cartFront: A piece of birthday advice for you?
Back: Start lying about your age. -
OLD BROAD
Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: You old broad.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Birthday.
Inside: You old broad. -
MOMMY’S VAG
Front: Your birthday is a reason to celebrate. Back: Celebrate coming out of your mom's vagina.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Your birthday is a reason to celebrate.
Back: Celebrate coming out of your mom’s vagina. -
DEAD BEAT
Front: Happy birthday. Inside: Think you'll make it to the next one?$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy birthday.
Inside: Think you’ll make it to the next one? -
ANOTHER FUCKING DAY
Front: Have a very happy birthday. Inside: Or don't. I don't fucking care.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Have a very happy birthday.
Inside: Or don’t. I don’t fucking care. -
MEAT AND MORE MEAT
Front: It's time to celebrate you. Inside: Dinner and a bj?$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s time to celebrate you.
Inside: Dinner and a bj? -
DRINK DRANK DRUNK
Front: Another birthday. Inside: Another reason to get shit-faced.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Another birthday.
Inside: Another reason to get shit-faced. -
OLD AND UGLY
Front: Getting old is hard. Inside: Especially when you start looking like shit.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Getting old is hard.
Inside: Especially when you start looking like shit. -
DIRTY DREAMS
Front: May all your birthday wishes come true. Inside: You fucking pervert.$5.00 Add to cartFront: May all your birthday wishes come true.
Inside: You fucking pervert. -
NOW YOU HAVE NOTHING
Front: What do you get for someone who has everything? Inside: Nothing.$5.00 Add to cartFront: What do you get for someone who has everything?
Inside: Nothing. -
WHORES R US
Front: We found you an amazing birthday gift. Inside: But somehow a two-dollar whole didn't seem appropriate.$5.00 Add to cartFront: We found you an amazing birthday gift.
Inside: But somehow a two-dollar whole didn’t seem appropriate. -
WE’RE ALL CHEAPSKATES
Front: We decided to all chip in for your birthday. Inside: This card is pretty great, huh?$5.00 Add to cartFront: We decided to all chip in for your birthday.
Inside: This card is pretty great, huh? -
SKUNKS LIKE IT DIRTY
Front: This year your birthday is extra special. Inside: So go get laid.$5.00 Add to cartFront: This year your birthday is extra special.
Inside: So go get laid. -
SUGAR TITS
Front: For your birthday how about a nice dinner and some dancing? Inside: You're paying.$5.00 Add to cartFront: For your birthday how about a nice dinner and some dancing?
Inside: You’re paying. -
FUCK FRIENDS
Front: I always remember to give you a card for your birthday. Inside: You don't have many friends, so it's the least I can do.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I always remember to give you a card for your birthday.
Inside: You don’t have many friends, so it’s the least I can do. -
BEER BOOBS BABES
Front: Kids have the best birthday parties. Inside: But they never remember the beer.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Kids have the best birthday parties.
Inside: But they never remember the beer. -
SOMETHING BETTER
Front: Let's celebrate your special day. Back: Actually, nevermind. I have something better to do.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Let’s celebrate your special day.
Back: Actually, nevermind. I have something better to do. -
OLD TIMERS
Front: I can't believe it's already your birthday. Inside: You're getting really old really fast.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I can’t believe it’s already your birthday.
Inside: You’re getting really old really fast. -
SMALL PENIS
Front: You always throw the best birthday parties. Inside: Is it to make up for your small penis?$5.00 Add to cartFront: You always throw the best birthday parties.
Inside: Is it to make up for your small penis? -
DIE BITCH DIE
Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: I hope you choke on your cake and die.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Birthday.
Inside: I hope you choke on your cake and die. -
VALUE MEAL
Front: Here's a birthday card. Inside: Don't expect a gift. This is it.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Here’s a birthday card.
Inside: Don’t expect a gift. This is it. -
WISH BITCH
Front: Remember to make a wish before you blow out your candles. Inside: Maybe ask for a new face. Yours is looking a little rough.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Remember to make a wish before you blow out your candles.
Inside: Maybe ask for a new face. Yours is looking a little rough. -
BIRTHDAYS ARE OVERRATED
Front: It's your birthday, huh? Inside: Well you can suck my ass. I don't give a damn.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s your birthday, huh?
Inside: Well you can suck my ass. I don’t give a damn. -
HIPPOS HATE BIRTHDAYS
Front: Time for another birthday. Inside: Goddamn I hate these things.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Time for another birthday.
Inside: Goddamn I hate these things. -
SHUT UP SHITHEAD
Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: Shithead.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Birthday.
Inside: Shithead. -
OLD MAN MOUSTACHE
Front: It's your birthday. Inside: Damn. You're a lot older than I thought.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s your birthday.
Inside: Damn. You’re a lot older than I thought. -
BIG HEAD BIGGER EGO
Front: This birthday is a big one. Inside: So don't go dying on us.$5.00 Add to cartFront: This birthday is a big one.
Inside: So don’t go dying on us. -
SHIT SISTER
Front: I heard it's your birthday. Inside: I also heard I don't give a shit.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I heard it’s your birthday.
Inside: I also heard I don’t give a shit. -
COCKSUCKING BIRTHDAY
Front: Make a wish and blow out your candles. Inside: Then blow yourself. Cocksucker.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Make a wish and blow out your candles.
Inside: Then blow yourself. Cocksucker. -
ZEBRA IS A COOL WORD
Front: Congratulations on another birthday. Inside: At your age most people are dead.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Congratulations on another birthday.
Inside: At your age most people are dead. -
LIKE A FAT KID LIKES CAKE
Front: I baked you a cake for your birthday. Inside: Then I ate it.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I baked you a cake for your birthday.
Inside: Then I ate it. -
I HATE BIRTHDAYS
Front: Have a happy birthday. Inside: Or rot in hell you old bastard.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Have a happy birthday.
Inside: Or rot in hell you old bastard. -
BIRTHDAYS ARE STUPID
Front: I'm glad we're friends. Inside: Except for when it's your birthday and I'm expected to buy you something.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I’m glad we’re friends.
Inside: Except for when it’s your birthday and I’m expected to buy you something. -
DRUNKEN LOSERS
Front: Hooray for your birthday. Inside: Let's go out and drink responsibly.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Hooray for your birthday.
Inside: Let’s go out and drink responsibly. -
A FIVE DOLLAR GIFT
Front: This card means one thing. Inside: I don't want to spend more than five dollars on you.$5.00 Add to cartFront: This card means one thing.
Inside: I don’t want to spend more than five dollars on you. -
BUST A MOVE
Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: Let's bust a move.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Birthday.
Inside: Let’s bust a move. -
AWESOME IS AWESOME
Front: Birthdays are awesome. Inside: Unless you're old.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Birthdays are awesome.
Inside: Unless you’re old. -
WHY GIVE ANYTHING ELSE
Front: I had no idea what to get you for your birthday. Inside: So here's a card.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I had no idea what to get you for your birthday.
Inside: So here’s a card. -
SAUSI KNOX ROX
Front: I love birthdays. Inside: Well, not yours.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I love birthdays.
Inside: Well, not yours. -
DOWN WITH THE OLDIES
Front: Happy birthday to a dear old friend. Inside: An old, old, old, old, old, old friend.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy birthday to a dear old friend.
Inside: An old, old, old, old, old, old friend. -
YOU DANCE LIKE ELAINE
Front: Let's go out dancing for your birthday. Inside: Actually, maybe you should stay home. You're embarrassing.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Let’s go out dancing for your birthday.
Inside: Actually, maybe you should stay home. You’re embarrassing. -
SISSY
Front: You know who loves birthday parties? Inside: Little sissies.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You know who loves birthday parties?
Inside: Little sissies. -
HA HA YOU’RE A FUCK UP
Front: You only live once. Inside: Too bad you already fucked up.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You only live once.
Inside: Too bad you already fucked up. -
SHUT THE FUCK UP
Front: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Inside: Shut the fuck up.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.
Inside: Shut the fuck up. -
YOUR HAIR SUCKS
Front: As your friend I really have to let you in on something. Inside: Your haircut is ridiculous.$5.00 Add to cartFront: As your friend I really have to let you in on something.
Inside: Your haircut is ridiculous. -
OH POOP
Front: No birthday gift could express my true feelings for you. Inside: Except, maybe, a pile of crap.$5.00 Add to cartFront: No birthday gift could express my true feelings for you.
Inside: Except, maybe, a pile of crap. -
KISSING LEADS TO BABIES
Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: Wanna make out?$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Birthday.
Inside: Wanna make out? -
WHAT AN ASS
Front: Another year older. Inside: And you're still an asshole.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Another year older.
Inside: And you’re still an asshole. -
BOOBIES
Front: It must be your birthday. Inside: I can tell because your boobs are sagging.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It must be your birthday.
Inside: I can tell because your boobs are sagging. -
SCOOTIE HAMSTER
Front: For your birthday lets do something special. Inside: Sex with strangers is special, right?$5.00 Add to cartFront: For your birthday lets do something special.
Inside: Sex with strangers is special, right? -
I’M THE BEST
Front: I got you the best birthday gift ever. Inside: But you don't deserve the best. So I kept it.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I got you the best birthday gift ever.
Inside: But you don’t deserve the best. So I kept it. -
WHOOP DEE DOO
Front: It's your birthday. Inside: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s your birthday.
Inside: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. -
YEAH, I’M HORNY
Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: For the record, I'm only giving you this cuz it improves my chances of getting laid.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Birthday.
Inside: For the record, I’m only giving you this cuz it improves my chances of getting laid. -
I JUST DON’T CARE
Front: Everyone keeps telling me it's your birthday. Inside: Like I'm supposed to care or something.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Everyone keeps telling me it’s your birthday.
Inside: Like I’m supposed to care or something. -
FRIENDLESS LOSER
Front: I started to plan a big party for your birthday. Inside: But there was no one to invite since you have no friends.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I started to plan a big party for your birthday.
Inside: But there was no one to invite since you have no friends. -
ENOUGH ALREADY
Front: Every year on this day, we celebrate your birth. Inside: And I'm getting sick of it.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Every year on this day, we celebrate your birth.
Inside: And I’m getting sick of it. -
BALD PATCHES ARE FUNNY
Front: Another year older and you look great. Inside: Except for that bald patch.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Another year older and you look great.
Inside: Except for that bald patch. -
DUSTIN IS SO OLDSCHOOL
Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: Holy fuck, you're old.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Birthday.
Inside: Holy fuck, you’re old. -
PUDGY WUDGY
Front: It's your birthday, which means you should spoil yourself. Inside: Maybe just lay off the cake. You're looking kinda pudgy.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s your birthday, which means you should spoil yourself.
Inside: Maybe just lay off the cake. You’re looking kinda pudgy. -
THE KOALA HATES YOU
Front: It's your birthday. Inside: But don't expect special treatment, I don't like you that much.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s your birthday.
Inside: But don’t expect special treatment, I don’t like you that much. -
JERKFACE
Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: Jerkface.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Birthday.
Inside: Jerkface. -
HERPES AND HENS
Front: It's your birthday and I love you so much it burns. Inside: Or maybe that's the herpes.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s your birthday and I love you so much it burns.
Inside: Or maybe that’s the herpes. -
SCUBBA BOOBA
Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: I like your boobs.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Birthday.
Inside: I like your boobs. -
YOUR LIFE SUCKS, GIRAFFE
Front: Today is a special day to celebrate your life. Inside: Too bad your life sucks.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Today is a special day to celebrate your life.
Inside: Too bad your life sucks. -
MOOSETACHE
Front: It's your birthday. Inside: So go fuck yourself.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s your birthday.
Inside: So go fuck yourself. -
THAT MOUSE IS SOBER
Front: So you're having another birthday. Inside: The way you drink I'm surprised you made it this far.$5.00 Add to cartFront: So you’re having another birthday.
Inside: The way you drink I’m surprised you made it this far. -
BUNNIES CAN’T BE JERKS
Front: For your birthday I wanted to get you something really great. Inside: But then I remembered that you're a jerk.$5.00 Add to cartFront: For your birthday I wanted to get you something really great.
Inside: But then I remembered that you’re a jerk.
