Top Seller
-
PEE PEE PANTS
Front: One word of advice? Inside: Kegels.$5.00 Add to cartFront: One word of advice?
Inside: Kegels. -
SIN SIN SINFUL
Front: Congratulations. Inside: You're no longer living in sin.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Congratulations.
Inside: You’re no longer living in sin. -
-
-
-
MAGNET MYSTERY BAG
Contains 8 random magnets from our collection. (no repeats, no fanart)$15.00 Add to cartContains 8 random magnets from our collection. (no repeats, no fanart)
-
-
-
-
GIMME THE HARD STUFF
Front: Sorry that you're going through this. Inside: If you need stronger drugs, just ask.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Sorry that you’re going through this.
Inside: If you need stronger drugs, just ask. -
THAT FUCKER BE TOUGH
Front: You'll get through this. Inside: You're a tough motherfucker.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You’ll get through this.
Inside: You’re a tough motherfucker. -
NATALIE LIKES OWLS
Front: You're a real hoot. Inside: Oops, I mean ho. You're a real ho.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You’re a real hoot.
Inside: Oops, I mean ho. You’re a real ho. -
-
-
-
SWEARING IS FUCKING FUNNY
Swearing is fucking funny.$6.95 Select optionsSwearing is fucking funny.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS
Get your head out of your ass.$6.95 Select optionsGet your head out of your ass.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
GET YOUR HEAD OUT YOUR ASS
Get your head out your ass.$3.00 Add to cartGet your head out your ass.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
MARRIAGE NUMBER ONE
Front: You only get married once. Back: Theoretically.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You only get married once.
Back: Theoretically. -
HORSES JUST FUCK
Front: What great news. Back: You are capable of love.$5.00 Add to cartFront: What great news.
Back: You are capable of love. -
LOPES TIMES TWO
Front: Congratulations on your big day. Back: It's about fucking time.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Congratulations on your big day.
Back: It’s about fucking time. -
REVENGE OF THE NERDS
Front: It's great that you two found each other. Back: Weirdos gotta stick together.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s great that you two found each other.
Back: Weirdos gotta stick together. -
STICK IT TO ME
Front: I want you to be my Valentine. Inside: And I want you to stick your dick in me.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I want you to be my Valentine.
Inside: And I want you to stick your dick in me. -
SEXY LEG HAIR
Front: Will you be my Valentine? Inside: I promise to shave my legs.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Will you be my Valentine?
Inside: I promise to shave my legs. -
TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT
Front: Will you be my Valentine? Inside: I'll give you an orgasm.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Will you be my Valentine?
Inside: I’ll give you an orgasm. -
THE GIFT OF ME
Front: I have the best Valentine's Day gift for you. Inside: My naked body.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I have the best Valentine’s Day gift for you.
Inside: My naked body. -
NO ONE ELSE WILL
Front: This Valentine's Day there's one thing we should do. Inside: Fuck.$5.00 Add to cartFront: This Valentine’s Day there’s one thing we should do.
Inside: Fuck. -
LET’S DO IT MONKEY STYLE
Front: Happy Valentine's Day. Inside: Let's get freaky.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Valentine’s Day.
Inside: Let’s get freaky. -
HAMSTERS LIKE SLUTS
Front: Will you be my Valentine? Inside: I like you cuz you're slutty.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Will you be my Valentine?
Inside: I like you cuz you’re slutty. -
CREEPED OUT
Front: I think about you all the time. Back: It's actually kind of creepy.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I think about you all the time.
Back: It’s actually kind of creepy. -
FUCK THAT MUSHY SHIT
Front: I've been thinking about you. Back: And I figured I'd fucking tell you, okay?$5.00 Add to cartFront: I’ve been thinking about you.
Back: And I figured I’d fucking tell you, okay? -
I’M A PERVERT
Front: Just thought you should know that I'm thinking about you. Back: And you're naked.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Just thought you should know that I’m thinking about you.
Back: And you’re naked. -
NO NO FEELING
Front: You deserve a huge thank-you hug. Back: The creepy kind that lingers.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You deserve a huge thank-you hug.
Back: The creepy kind that lingers. -
GENEROUS GENITALS
Front: I don't know how to thank you. Back: Can I use my genitals?$5.00 Add to cartFront: I don’t know how to thank you.
Back: Can I use my genitals? -
FUCK US AWESOMELY
Front: Thank you. Back: You're fucking awesome.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Thank you.
Back: You’re fucking awesome. -
FROM US FUCKERS
Front: People just don't send thank you cards like they used to. Back: Fucking jerks.$5.00 Add to cartFront: People just don’t send thank you cards like they used to.
Back: Fucking jerks. -
THROW IT IN MY FACE
Front: Thank you. Back: There. I said it.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Thank you.
Back: There. I said it. -
LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE
Front: I'm so sorry. It will never happen again. Back: Okay, that's a lie. It probably will.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I’m so sorry. It will never happen again.
Back: Okay, that’s a lie. It probably will. -
RIGHT ALL THE TIME
Front: I must say, I'm really sorry. Back: It must piss you off that I'm always right.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I must say, I’m really sorry.
Back: It must piss you off that I’m always right. -
SUCKERS MOTHERFUCKERS
Front: Congrats on your retirement. Back: Work is for suckers anyway.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Congrats on your retirement.
Back: Work is for suckers anyway. -
JOBLESS LOSER
Front: Wow, so you're retiring. Back: I didn't even know you had a job.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Wow, so you’re retiring.
Back: I didn’t even know you had a job. -
SETTLE DOWN MAN
Front: You've finally retired. Back: I guess that leaves more time for whoring around.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You’ve finally retired.
Back: I guess that leaves more time for whoring around. -
AIN’T GOOD ENOUGH
Front: You did your best raising me. Back: Clearly your best was not good enough.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You did your best raising me.
Back: Clearly your best was not good enough. -
SCREW UP UP SCREW
Front: Thanks for being a great parent. Back: And not screwing me up too badly.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Thanks for being a great parent.
Back: And not screwing me up too badly. -
GOOD NOT GREAT
Front: You've been such a good parent. Back: Not the best. Not great. Just good.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You’ve been such a good parent.
Back: Not the best. Not great. Just good. -
ASSHOLE KIDS
Front: Having a family with you is a blessing. Back: But our kids are assholes.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Having a family with you is a blessing.
Back: But our kids are assholes. -
PLAYING FAVOURITES
Front: Happy Mother's Day. Inside: Admit it. I'm your favourite.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Mother’s Day.
Inside: Admit it. I’m your favourite. -
OLD AGE HOME
Front: Let's make this the best Mother's Day ever. Inside: Because next year I'm putting you in a home.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Let’s make this the best Mother’s Day ever.
Inside: Because next year I’m putting you in a home. -
ROBOTS DON’T HAVE EARS
Front: Mom, you taught me life's most important lesson. Back: Too bad I wasn't listening.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Mom, you taught me life’s most important lesson.
Back: Too bad I wasn’t listening. -
I WAS A MISTAKE
Front: Thank you mom. Back: I know I was a mistake, but thanks anyway.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Thank you mom.
Back: I know I was a mistake, but thanks anyway. -
I’M SUPER AWESOME
Front: You did a great job raising me, mom. Back: But I wouldn't be so proud of the others.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You did a great job raising me, mom.
Back: But I wouldn’t be so proud of the others. -
SO HARD IT HURTS
Front: My heart aches for you. Back: So does my erection.$5.00 Add to cartFront: My heart aches for you.
Back: So does my erection. -
STAY THE FUCK AWAY
Front: We miss you. Back: But that doesn't mean you should come back.$5.00 Add to cartFront: We miss you.
Back: But that doesn’t mean you should come back. -
HAIRY PALMS
Front: I'm really going to miss you. Back: So thank god for masturbation.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I’m really going to miss you.
Back: So thank god for masturbation. -
LEFT OR RIGHT
Front: We're so lucky we found each other. Back: I almost swiped left.$5.00 Add to cartFront: We’re so lucky we found each other.
Back: I almost swiped left. -
PENIS PARTY
Front: I love your body, your mind, and your soul. Back: But mostly, your penis.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I love your body, your mind, and your soul.
Back: But mostly, your penis. -
VAGINA PARTY
Front: I love your body, your mind, and your soul. Back: But mostly, your vagina.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I love your body, your mind, and your soul.
Back: But mostly, your vagina. -
LOVE STINKS
Front: Love is in the air. Back: No wait. That's just my fart.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Love is in the air.
Back: No wait. That’s just my fart. -
DIRTY DIRTY SLUT SLUT
Front: I really love you. Back: And the dirty stuff you let me do to you.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I really love you.
Back: And the dirty stuff you let me do to you. -
BATTERY POWERED LOVE
Front: Love is powerful. Back: So are vibrators.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Love is powerful.
Back: So are vibrators. -
BOOB IS A FUNNY WORD
Front: I love you. Back: So show me your boobs.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I love you.
Back: So show me your boobs. -
FARTS ARE NOT SEXY
Front: I love you. Back: But you fart in your sleep.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I love you.
Back: But you fart in your sleep. -
NO CLASS MEANS NO CLASS
Front: Congrats on the new gig. Back: I guess it's the best someone with your education can get.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Congrats on the new gig.
Back: I guess it’s the best someone with your education can get. -
DUMB IDIOT
Front: They hired you? Back: Idiots.$5.00 Add to cartFront: They hired you?
Back: Idiots. -
RETARDED BLACK SHEEP
Front: What a great new job. Back: I didn't know they hired retards.$5.00 Add to cartFront: What a great new job.
Back: I didn’t know they hired retards. -
WHORE CEO
Front: Heard you got that job. Back: So is hooking just a part-time thing now?$5.00 Add to cartFront: Heard you got that job.
Back: So is hooking just a part-time thing now? -
FRIENDS WITH TRUCKS
Front: You got a new house? Back: I'm not helping you move.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You got a new house?
Back: I’m not helping you move. -
MORTGAGE SMORTGAGE
Front: What a great house. Back: Too bad you won't own it for 30 years.$5.00 Add to cartFront: What a great house.
Back: Too bad you won’t own it for 30 years. -
DUMPITY DUMP DUMP
Front: It's great that you have a new home. Back: Your old place was a dump.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s great that you have a new home.
Back: Your old place was a dump. -
HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR
Front: Have yourself a Happy Hanukkah. Back: And a happy fucking New Year.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Have yourself a Happy Hanukkah.
Back: And a happy fucking New Year. -
GREEDY BASTARD
Front: You celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah? Back: Sounds greedy.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah?
Back: Sounds greedy. -
OY VEY
Front: It's that time of year again. Back: Oy vey.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s that time of year again.
Back: Oy vey. -
HANUKKAH CHANUKAH
Front: Happy Hanukkah. Back: Or is it Chanukah? Shit.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Hanukkah.
Back: Or is it Chanukah? Shit. -
SMARTER THAN I THOUGHT
Front: Congratulations. Back: I guess you're not an idiot after all.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Congratulations.
Back: I guess you’re not an idiot after all. -
NO MORE TEACHERS
Front: Congratulations. Back: Took you long enough.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Congratulations.
Back: Took you long enough. -
DOGS ARE STUPID
Front: You've officially graduated. Back: It's about fucking time.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You’ve officially graduated.
Back: It’s about fucking time. -
BREAK YOUR FACE
Front: Best wishes, good luck, break a leg. Back: Actually, break both legs, an elbow, and a couple of ribs.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Best wishes, good luck, break a leg.
Back: Actually, break both legs, an elbow, and a couple of ribs. -
OSTRICHES ARE COOL
Front: Are you really leaving? Back: Good. You were bugging me.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Are you really leaving?
Back: Good. You were bugging me. -
MR SMITH IS LEAVING
Front: I guess this is goodbye. Back: It's about fucking time.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I guess this is goodbye.
Back: It’s about fucking time. -
I MISS YOU BEARY MUCH
Front: Keep in touch. Back: Or else.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Keep in touch.
Back: Or else. -
SHIT POOP POO POO
Front: Get well soon. Inside: You look like shit.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Get well soon.
Inside: You look like shit. -
CANCER SUCKS BALLS
Front: What terrible news. Inside: Cancer fucking sucks.$5.00 Add to cartFront: What terrible news.
Inside: Cancer fucking sucks. -
CRY BABY
Front: Not feeling well? Inside: Boo-frickin-who.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Not feeling well?
Inside: Boo-frickin-who. -
SICK BASTARD
Front: Hope you feel better soon. Inside: You sick bastard.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Hope you feel better soon.
Inside: You sick bastard. -
THE PRETENDERS
Front: I heard you aren't feeling well. Inside: And I know you're pretending.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I heard you aren’t feeling well.
Inside: And I know you’re pretending. -
PENIS POWER
Front: Have you heard the news? Back: My penis is awesome.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Have you heard the news?
Back: My penis is awesome. -
RAD BAD SAD FAD
Front: I'm glad we get along. Back: But how could we not? We're fucking rad.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I’m glad we get along.
Back: But how could we not? We’re fucking rad. -
-
DONKEY LOVERS
Front: I enjoy spending time with you. Back: It feels good to do charity work.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I enjoy spending time with you.
Back: It feels good to do charity work. -
VAGINA POWER
Front: Have you heard the news? Back: My vagina is awesome.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Have you heard the news?
Back: My vagina is awesome. -
FIBRE MANIPULATOR
Front: Hey friend. Back: Fuck off.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Hey friend.
Back: Fuck off. -
PRETTY PENNIE
Front: You're smile makes me smile. Back: Cuz you look like a fucking goof.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You’re smile makes me smile.
Back: Cuz you look like a fucking goof. -
VIVA PUFF BPA
Front: You're always the life of the party. Back: But I think you're an alcholic.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You’re always the life of the party.
Back: But I think you’re an alcholic. -
LOSER ALERT
Front: You deserve a wonderful Father's Day. Back: But you raised a loser, so all you get is this card.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You deserve a wonderful Father’s Day.
Back: But you raised a loser, so all you get is this card. -
ASS PAIN
Front: Father's Day is different now that I'm a parent. Back: Now I understand what a pain in the ass kids are.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Father’s Day is different now that I’m a parent.
Back: Now I understand what a pain in the ass kids are. -
PLAYING FAVOURITES
Front: Happy Father's Day. Back: Admit it. I'm your favourite.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Father’s Day.
Back: Admit it. I’m your favourite. -
MEN MAKE SPERM
Front: For my husband on Father's Day. Back: You have great sperm.$5.00 Add to cartFront: For my husband on Father’s Day.
Back: You have great sperm. -
OLD AGE HOME
Front: Let's make this the best Father's Day ever. Back: Because next year I'm putting you in a home.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Let’s make this the best Father’s Day ever.
Back: Because next year I’m putting you in a home. -
EVERYBODY FARTS
Front: Dad, you taught me life's most important lesson. Back: When I fart I blame it on someone else.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Dad, you taught me life’s most important lesson.
Back: When I fart I blame it on someone else. -
I WAS A MISTAKE
Front: Thank you dad. Back: I know I was a mistake, but thanks anyway.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Thank you dad.
Back: I know I was a mistake, but thanks anyway. -
I’M SUPER AWESOME
Front: You did a great job raising me, dad. Back: But I wouldn't be so proud of the others.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You did a great job raising me, dad.
Back: But I wouldn’t be so proud of the others. -
BITCH PARTY
Front: It's party time. Back: Where my bitches at?$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s party time.
Back: Where my bitches at? -
COCKY MOFO
Front: You must be so proud of yourself. Back: You cocky motherfucker.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You must be so proud of yourself.
Back: You cocky motherfucker. -
ATTENTION SEEKING DOG
Front: Congratulations. You did it. Back: Big fucking deal.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Congratulations. You did it.
Back: Big fucking deal. -
JUST SAY NO
Front: Let's go celebrate. Back: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Let’s go celebrate.
Back: I’ll get the hookers. You get the blow. -
HOT SHIT
Front: Congratulations. Back: I bet you think you're hot shit now, don't you?$5.00 Add to cartFront: Congratulations.
Back: I bet you think you’re hot shit now, don’t you? -
BAD CREDIT SCORE
Front: The holiday season is the best. Back: Until the credit card statement arrives.$5.00 Add to cartFront: The holiday season is the best.
Back: Until the credit card statement arrives. -
HOLLY JOLLY DRUNK
Front: Have a holly, jolly Christmas. Back: By getting druuuuunk.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Have a holly, jolly Christmas.
Back: By getting druuuuunk. -
HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR
Front: Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Back: And a happy fucking New Year.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
Back: And a happy fucking New Year. -
WORKING WITH ASSHOLES
Front: You know Dasher and Dancer? Prancer and Vixen? Back: They're assholes.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You know Dasher and Dancer? Prancer and Vixen?
Back: They’re assholes. -
LIMITED EDITION
Front: I sat on Santa's lap. Back: It gave him a boner.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I sat on Santa’s lap.
Back: It gave him a boner. -
CRAZY LITTLE BASTARDS
Front: I love elves. Back: Those little fuckers know how to party.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I love elves.
Back: Those little fuckers know how to party. -
FUCK YOU FUCKER
Front: It's Christmas time. Back: Fuck you and fuck your family.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s Christmas time.
Back: Fuck you and fuck your family. -
SANTA’S SHIT STINKS
Front: Every Christmas Santa eats our cookies and drinks our milk. Back: Then he takes a huge dump in our bathroom.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Every Christmas Santa eats our cookies and drinks our milk.
Back: Then he takes a huge dump in our bathroom. -
CREEPY MCCREEPERSON
Front: He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. Back: He must be stalking you.$5.00 Add to cartFront: He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake.
Back: He must be stalking you. -
CHRISTMAS IS AWESOME
Front: It's true what they say about Christmas. Back: It's fucking awesome.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s true what they say about Christmas.
Back: It’s fucking awesome. -
FAT BASTARD
Front: Last year Santa ate all the cookies I left out. Back: That fat bastard.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Last year Santa ate all the cookies I left out.
Back: That fat bastard. -
SANTA IS A PIMP
Front: I saw Santa last night. Back: He was banging your mom.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I saw Santa last night.
Back: He was banging your mom. -
SEND A HUG AND KISS CARD
Front: Every Christmas I send you a card in the mail. Back: And this year is no fucking different.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Every Christmas I send you a card in the mail.
Back: And this year is no fucking different. -
FUCK CHRISTMAS
Front: It's that time of year again. Back: Fuck.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s that time of year again.
Back: Fuck. -
SANTA LIKES SLUTS
Front: I heard you're on Santa's naughty list. Back: Slut.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I heard you’re on Santa’s naughty list.
Back: Slut. -
DRINK UP BUTTERCUP
Front: Time heals all wounds. Back: So does booze.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Time heals all wounds.
Back: So does booze. -
ASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLE
Front: I'm sorry I missed your birthday. Back: I'm such an asshole.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I’m sorry I missed your birthday.
Back: I’m such an asshole. -
I WON’T KILL YOU
Front: I can't believe I missed your birthday. Back: You better not miss mine or I'll fucking kill you.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I can’t believe I missed your birthday.
Back: You better not miss mine or I’ll fucking kill you. -
SORRY BUDDY
Front: I'm so sorry I forgot. Back: Chances are I'll forget next year too.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I’m so sorry I forgot.
Back: Chances are I’ll forget next year too. -
SO WHAT IF I FORGOT
Front: I bet you think I forgot your birthday. Back: I did.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I bet you think I forgot your birthday.
Back: I did. -
MISTAKES HAPPEN
Front: Let's celebrate your birth. Inside: Even though you were an unplanned pregnancy.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Let’s celebrate your birth.
Inside: Even though you were an unplanned pregnancy. -
WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY
Front: It's your birthday. Inside: Or was your birthday? Or is almost your birthday? When the fuck is your birthday?$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s your birthday.
Inside: Or was your birthday? Or is almost your birthday? When the fuck is your birthday? -
DEFINITELY TOO OLD
Front: A piece of birthday advice for you? Back: Start lying about your age.$5.00 Add to cartFront: A piece of birthday advice for you?
Back: Start lying about your age. -
OLD BROAD
Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: You old broad.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Birthday.
Inside: You old broad. -
MOMMY’S VAG
Front: Your birthday is a reason to celebrate. Back: Celebrate coming out of your mom's vagina.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Your birthday is a reason to celebrate.
Back: Celebrate coming out of your mom’s vagina. -
ANOTHER FUCKING DAY
Front: Have a very happy birthday. Inside: Or don't. I don't fucking care.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Have a very happy birthday.
Inside: Or don’t. I don’t fucking care. -
MEAT AND MORE MEAT
Front: It's time to celebrate you. Inside: Dinner and a bj?$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s time to celebrate you.
Inside: Dinner and a bj? -
DRINK DRANK DRUNK
Front: Another birthday. Inside: Another reason to get shit-faced.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Another birthday.
Inside: Another reason to get shit-faced. -
OLD AND UGLY
Front: Getting old is hard. Inside: Especially when you start looking like shit.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Getting old is hard.
Inside: Especially when you start looking like shit. -
DIRTY DREAMS
Front: May all your birthday wishes come true. Inside: You fucking pervert.$5.00 Add to cartFront: May all your birthday wishes come true.
Inside: You fucking pervert. -
NOW YOU HAVE NOTHING
Front: What do you get for someone who has everything? Inside: Nothing.$5.00 Add to cartFront: What do you get for someone who has everything?
Inside: Nothing. -
WHORES R US
Front: We found you an amazing birthday gift. Inside: But somehow a two-dollar whole didn't seem appropriate.$5.00 Add to cartFront: We found you an amazing birthday gift.
Inside: But somehow a two-dollar whole didn’t seem appropriate. -
SMALL PENIS
Front: You always throw the best birthday parties. Inside: Is it to make up for your small penis?$5.00 Add to cartFront: You always throw the best birthday parties.
Inside: Is it to make up for your small penis? -
BIRTHDAYS ARE OVERRATED
Front: It's your birthday, huh? Inside: Well you can suck my ass. I don't give a damn.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s your birthday, huh?
Inside: Well you can suck my ass. I don’t give a damn. -
SHUT UP SHITHEAD
Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: Shithead.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Birthday.
Inside: Shithead. -
BIG HEAD BIGGER EGO
Front: This birthday is a big one. Inside: So don't go dying on us.$5.00 Add to cartFront: This birthday is a big one.
Inside: So don’t go dying on us. -
COCKSUCKING BIRTHDAY
Front: Make a wish and blow out your candles. Inside: Then blow yourself. Cocksucker.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Make a wish and blow out your candles.
Inside: Then blow yourself. Cocksucker. -
DOWN WITH THE OLDIES
Front: Happy birthday to a dear old friend. Inside: An old, old, old, old, old, old friend.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy birthday to a dear old friend.
Inside: An old, old, old, old, old, old friend. -
YOU DANCE LIKE ELAINE
Front: Let's go out dancing for your birthday. Inside: Actually, maybe you should stay home. You're embarrassing.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Let’s go out dancing for your birthday.
Inside: Actually, maybe you should stay home. You’re embarrassing. -
SISSY
Front: You know who loves birthday parties? Inside: Little sissies.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You know who loves birthday parties?
Inside: Little sissies. -
HA HA YOU’RE A FUCK UP
Front: You only live once. Inside: Too bad you already fucked up.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You only live once.
Inside: Too bad you already fucked up. -
SHUT THE FUCK UP
Front: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Inside: Shut the fuck up.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.
Inside: Shut the fuck up. -
WHAT AN ASS
Front: Another year older. Inside: And you're still an asshole.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Another year older.
Inside: And you’re still an asshole. -
WHOOP DEE DOO
Front: It's your birthday. Inside: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s your birthday.
Inside: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. -
DUSTIN IS SO OLDSCHOOL
Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: Holy fuck, you're old.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Birthday.
Inside: Holy fuck, you’re old. -
HERPES AND HENS
Front: It's your birthday and I love you so much it burns. Inside: Or maybe that's the herpes.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s your birthday and I love you so much it burns.
Inside: Or maybe that’s the herpes. -
SCUBBA BOOBA
Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: I like your boobs.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Birthday.
Inside: I like your boobs. -
MOOSETACHE
Front: It's your birthday. Inside: So go fuck yourself.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s your birthday.
Inside: So go fuck yourself. -
THAT MOUSE IS SOBER
Front: So you're having another birthday. Inside: The way you drink I'm surprised you made it this far.$5.00 Add to cartFront: So you’re having another birthday.
Inside: The way you drink I’m surprised you made it this far. -
STICKY SOCKS
Front: So sweet and innocent. Inside: Until all his socks start sticking together.$5.00 Add to cartFront: So sweet and innocent.
Inside: Until all his socks start sticking together. -
BABY BITCH SPICE
Front: Sugar and spice and everything nice. Inside: Until puberty turns her into a bitch.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Sugar and spice and everything nice.
Inside: Until puberty turns her into a bitch. -
BIG BABY BIGGER VAGINA
Front: Congrats on another beautiful baby. Inside: You must have a huge vagina.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Congrats on another beautiful baby.
Inside: You must have a huge vagina. -
BIG OL TITTIES
Front: You have a beautiful pregnant glow. Inside: And your tits are huge.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You have a beautiful pregnant glow.
Inside: And your tits are huge. -
PANTIES
Front: Pregnant? Inside: I knew you couldn't keep your panties on.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Pregnant?
Inside: I knew you couldn’t keep your panties on. -
BABIES ARE FOR SUCKERS
Front: I'm so excited that you're having a baby. Inside: Because I sure as hell don't want one.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I’m so excited that you’re having a baby.
Inside: Because I sure as hell don’t want one. -
HURTS LIKE A BITCH
Front: Bringing a new life into this world is a beautiful thing. Inside: But it hurts like a bitch.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Bringing a new life into this world is a beautiful thing.
Inside: But it hurts like a bitch. -
I KNOW DODGE IS CUTE
Front: Babies are great. Inside: Unless you get one of the weird looking ones.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Babies are great.
Inside: Unless you get one of the weird looking ones. -
TILL DEATH DO US PART
Front: Our love is forever. Inside: But if you die first, I will move on.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Our love is forever.
Inside: But if you die first, I will move on. -
ATTRACTIVE OPPOSITES
Front: I believe that opposites attract. Inside: Just look. I'm awesome and you're not.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I believe that opposites attract.
Inside: Just look. I’m awesome and you’re not. -
BRUSH YOUR TEETH
Front: Waking up next to you every morning is a dream come true. Inside: Unless your breath smells like shit.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Waking up next to you every morning is a dream come true.
Inside: Unless your breath smells like shit. -
OYE WITH THE POODLES
Front: Happy Anniversary, babe. You're great. Inside: But I'm definitely better.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Anniversary, babe. You’re great.
Inside: But I’m definitely better. -
SEX KITTEN
Front: Happy Anniversary. Inside: Let's have sex. Please.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Anniversary.
Inside: Let’s have sex. Please.
