100% MADE IN CANADA
March 18, 2025
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Quick View2025 CALENDAR
Calendar- Shows you all the important holidays (ya know, like Thanksgiving and Steak and a Blowjob Day) - Size is 10.5" x 9.5" - Images can be cut to fit an 8" x 8" frame so you can keep it forever - Designed, printed, and manufactured in Canada$21.00 -
Hot
Quick ViewOH HAPPY DAY
BirthdayFront: Wishing you the happiest of days. Inside: If it's not a happy day, that's on you.$5.50 -
Hot
Quick ViewPARTIES SUCK
BirthdayFront: Time for your birthday party. Inside: Just so you know, I'm leaving after the cake and I didn't get a gift.$5.50 -
Hot
Quick ViewEAT EAT EAT
BirthdayFront: Today is your special day. Inside: Eat whatever the fuck you want.$5.50 -
Hot
Quick ViewBIRTHDAY BEAR DICK
BirthdayFront: Cheers to another year. Inside: Of dicking around until you die.$5.50 -
Hot
Quick ViewSTICKER SHEET
StickersThis vinyl sticker sheet measures 10.2cm x 15.2cm and contains 5 stickers in various sizes. It has an easy peel backing and is waterproof (meaning you can stick it on your favourite water bottle and not worry about putting it in the dishwasher).$6.00 -
Quick ViewLOW LEVEL POSITION
CardsFront: You are a fantastic dad. Inside: It's a shit job, but you're great at it.$5.50 -
Quick ViewDEAD OR ALIVE
CardsFront: Happy Father's Day. Inside: Thanks for all the shit you did to keep me alive.$5.50 -
Quick ViewNOT YOUR SPERM
CardsFront: You're like a dad to me. Inside: I didn't spawn from your seed, but I know you love me.$5.50 -
Quick ViewLOW LEVEL POSITION
CardsFront: You are a fantastic mom. Inside: It's a shit job, but you're great at it.$5.50 -
Quick ViewDEAD OR ALIVE
CardsFront: Happy Mother's Day. Inside: Thanks for all the shit you did to keep me alive.$5.50 -
Quick ViewNOT YOUR PUSSY
CardsFront: You're like a mom to me. Inside: I didn't come out of your vag, but I know you love me.$5.50 -
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Quick ViewPAPER RULES
CardsInside: Option 4. Hand them this greeting card + a six-pack. (The six-pack could be beer or doughnuts. Or both or neither.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewGIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS
BirthdayInside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)$5.50 -
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Quick ViewSASSY ASSHOLE
CardsInside: Reason 3. Because the word congratulations is so long that people hate writing it out themselves + they'd much rather just buy a card that spells it out for them.$5.50 -
Quick ViewFUCKING BIRTHDAY CARDS
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. It likely means that I was invited to a celebration of some sort. (That means being around people.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewGETTING OLDER
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. This is total bullshit. Getting older sucks. (Your body aches, your knees make noises + you sag a little more + more with each passing year.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewSNAIL MAIL IS THE BEST
BirthdayInside: 3. Go out of your way to purchase them a birthday card in advance. Write a message, sign your name and mail or hand deliver the card to the birthday person. (Yes, this piece of paper that you spent money on will end up getting tossed, but the birthday person will know that, without a doubt, you are better than the folks that only did #1 or #2.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewTOO MUCH LOVE
CardsFront: Time to buy gifts for everyone we love. Inside: Fuck. We love too many people.$5.50
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Out Of StockQuick View
2025 CALENDAR
Calendar- Shows you all the important holidays (ya know, like Thanksgiving and Steak and a Blowjob Day) - Size is 10.5" x 9.5" - Images can be cut to fit an 8" x 8" frame so you can keep it forever - Designed, printed, and manufactured in Canada$21.00 -
HotQuick View
OH HAPPY DAY
BirthdayFront: Wishing you the happiest of days. Inside: If it's not a happy day, that's on you.$5.50 -
HotQuick View
PARTIES SUCK
BirthdayFront: Time for your birthday party. Inside: Just so you know, I'm leaving after the cake and I didn't get a gift.$5.50 -
HotQuick View
EAT EAT EAT
BirthdayFront: Today is your special day. Inside: Eat whatever the fuck you want.$5.50 -
HotQuick View
BIRTHDAY BEAR DICK
BirthdayFront: Cheers to another year. Inside: Of dicking around until you die.$5.50 -
HotQuick View
STICKER SHEET
StickersThis vinyl sticker sheet measures 10.2cm x 15.2cm and contains 5 stickers in various sizes. It has an easy peel backing and is waterproof (meaning you can stick it on your favourite water bottle and not worry about putting it in the dishwasher).$6.00 -
Quick View
LOW LEVEL POSITION
CardsFront: You are a fantastic dad. Inside: It's a shit job, but you're great at it.$5.50 -
Quick View
DEAD OR ALIVE
CardsFront: Happy Father's Day. Inside: Thanks for all the shit you did to keep me alive.$5.50 -
Quick View
NOT YOUR SPERM
CardsFront: You're like a dad to me. Inside: I didn't spawn from your seed, but I know you love me.$5.50 -
Quick View
LOW LEVEL POSITION
CardsFront: You are a fantastic mom. Inside: It's a shit job, but you're great at it.$5.50 -
Quick View
DEAD OR ALIVE
CardsFront: Happy Mother's Day. Inside: Thanks for all the shit you did to keep me alive.$5.50 -
Quick View
NOT YOUR PUSSY
CardsFront: You're like a mom to me. Inside: I didn't come out of your vag, but I know you love me.$5.50 -
Quick View
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Quick View
PAPER RULES
CardsInside: Option 4. Hand them this greeting card + a six-pack. (The six-pack could be beer or doughnuts. Or both or neither.)$5.50 -
Quick View
GIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS
BirthdayInside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)$5.50 -
Quick View
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Quick View
SASSY ASSHOLE
CardsInside: Reason 3. Because the word congratulations is so long that people hate writing it out themselves + they'd much rather just buy a card that spells it out for them.$5.50 -
Quick View
FUCKING BIRTHDAY CARDS
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. It likely means that I was invited to a celebration of some sort. (That means being around people.)$5.50 -
Quick View
GETTING OLDER
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. This is total bullshit. Getting older sucks. (Your body aches, your knees make noises + you sag a little more + more with each passing year.)$5.50 -
Quick View
SNAIL MAIL IS THE BEST
BirthdayInside: 3. Go out of your way to purchase them a birthday card in advance. Write a message, sign your name and mail or hand deliver the card to the birthday person. (Yes, this piece of paper that you spent money on will end up getting tossed, but the birthday person will know that, without a doubt, you are better than the folks that only did #1 or #2.)$5.50 -
Quick View
TOO MUCH LOVE
CardsFront: Time to buy gifts for everyone we love. Inside: Fuck. We love too many people.$5.50 -
Quick View -
Quick ViewHOLIDAY HOLIDAY
ChristmasInside: Tip 3. Send out passive aggressive cards "joking" about how you hate the holidays. (Is it a joke? Or not? Best just keep to yourself.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewCREDIT THEFT
ChristmasInside: You get to run around like crazy making sure the day is special for your family, but with zero credit because of "Santa." (Don't forget to buy a special role of "Santa" wrapping paper.)$5.50
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