NEW LINE OF CARDS!
June 15, 2023
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Quick ViewTOO MUCH LOVE
CardsFront: Time to buy gifts for everyone we love. Inside: Fuck. We love too many people.$5.50 -
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Sale!Hot
Quick View2024 CALENDAR PRESALE
CalendarOur calendars are currently in production and we're wondering how many we should make! Order yours today at a reduced rate so you guarantee yourself a copy and we have a better idea on how many to make! If all goes as planned, the calendars will ship in early November.$17.00 -
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Quick ViewPAPER RULES
CardsInside: Option 4. Hand them this greeting card + a six-pack. (The six-pack could be beer or doughnuts. Or both or neither.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewGIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS
BirthdayInside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)$5.50 -
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Quick ViewSASSY ASSHOLE
CardsInside: Reason 3. Because the word congratulations is so long that people hate writing it out themselves + they'd much rather just buy a card that spells it out for them.$5.50 -
Quick ViewFUCKING BIRTHDAY CARDS
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. It likely means that I was invited to a celebration of some sort. (That means being around people.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewGETTING OLDER
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. This is total bullshit. Getting older sucks. (Your body aches, your knees make noises + you sag a little more + more with each passing year.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewSNAIL MAIL IS THE BEST
BirthdayInside: 3. Go out of your way to purchase them a birthday card in advance. Write a message, sign your name and mail or hand deliver the card to the birthday person. (Yes, this piece of paper that you spent money on will end up getting tossed, but the birthday person will know that, without a doubt, you are better than the folks that only did #1 or #2.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewBIG ONE
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. You're getting pretty old, so you should celebrate while you still can. (Did you know that statistically you are 14% more likely to die on your birthday than any other day? Try not to party that hard.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewCAKE MAKES IT BETTER
BirthdayInside: Step 3. That's it... The cake will make you happy. (You make also experience feelings of guilt + disgust.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewANTI SOCIAL TIME
BirthdayInside: Follow this advice and you'll have a happy birthday. (All thanks to the genius greeting card writer that wrote this card and the brilliant person that chose it.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewCRAZY BABY
CardsInside: Thing 4. They can rip your vagina apart during delivery, but you'll love that little bugger more than anything in the world. (Or they can be forcefully cut from your stomach while you're awake... either way, you'll need stitches, but you won't care cause you love them.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewJUST DON’T KILL IT
CardsInside: Tip 4. Talk to your parents + grandparents. (Want to feel better about being a parent? Ask an older generation about how they took care of babies. They did some crazy shit and still managed to keep your family tree going.)$5.50 -
Hot
Quick ViewCUSTOM FAMILY PORTRAIT
Nikki’s Custom ArtA custom LEGO family portrait printed on 8" x 10" cardstock.$30.00 -
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Quick View
TOO MUCH LOVE
CardsFront: Time to buy gifts for everyone we love. Inside: Fuck. We love too many people.$5.50 -
Quick View
-
Sale!HotQuick View
2024 CALENDAR PRESALE
CalendarOur calendars are currently in production and we're wondering how many we should make! Order yours today at a reduced rate so you guarantee yourself a copy and we have a better idea on how many to make! If all goes as planned, the calendars will ship in early November.$17.00 -
Quick View
-
Quick View
PAPER RULES
CardsInside: Option 4. Hand them this greeting card + a six-pack. (The six-pack could be beer or doughnuts. Or both or neither.)$5.50 -
Quick View
GIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS
BirthdayInside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)$5.50 -
Quick View
-
Quick View
SASSY ASSHOLE
CardsInside: Reason 3. Because the word congratulations is so long that people hate writing it out themselves + they'd much rather just buy a card that spells it out for them.$5.50 -
Quick View
FUCKING BIRTHDAY CARDS
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. It likely means that I was invited to a celebration of some sort. (That means being around people.)$5.50 -
Quick View
GETTING OLDER
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. This is total bullshit. Getting older sucks. (Your body aches, your knees make noises + you sag a little more + more with each passing year.)$5.50 -
Quick View
SNAIL MAIL IS THE BEST
BirthdayInside: 3. Go out of your way to purchase them a birthday card in advance. Write a message, sign your name and mail or hand deliver the card to the birthday person. (Yes, this piece of paper that you spent money on will end up getting tossed, but the birthday person will know that, without a doubt, you are better than the folks that only did #1 or #2.)$5.50 -
Quick View
BIG ONE
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. You're getting pretty old, so you should celebrate while you still can. (Did you know that statistically you are 14% more likely to die on your birthday than any other day? Try not to party that hard.)$5.50 -
Quick View
CAKE MAKES IT BETTER
BirthdayInside: Step 3. That's it... The cake will make you happy. (You make also experience feelings of guilt + disgust.)$5.50 -
Quick View
ANTI SOCIAL TIME
BirthdayInside: Follow this advice and you'll have a happy birthday. (All thanks to the genius greeting card writer that wrote this card and the brilliant person that chose it.)$5.50 -
Quick View
CRAZY BABY
CardsInside: Thing 4. They can rip your vagina apart during delivery, but you'll love that little bugger more than anything in the world. (Or they can be forcefully cut from your stomach while you're awake... either way, you'll need stitches, but you won't care cause you love them.)$5.50 -
Quick View
JUST DON’T KILL IT
CardsInside: Tip 4. Talk to your parents + grandparents. (Want to feel better about being a parent? Ask an older generation about how they took care of babies. They did some crazy shit and still managed to keep your family tree going.)$5.50 -
HotQuick View
CUSTOM FAMILY PORTRAIT
Nikki’s Custom ArtA custom LEGO family portrait printed on 8" x 10" cardstock.$30.00 -
Quick View
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Quick View
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Quick View
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Quick View
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Quick View
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