GETTING MY SHIT TOGETHER
April 8, 2024
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Quick ViewBEST GIFT OF ALL
BirthdayFront: Happy birthday to my dearest love. Inside: Instead of a gift can I just go down on you?$5.50 -
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Quick ViewTOO OLD FOR THAT SHIT
BirthdayFront: Birthdays are a time to party. Inside: Too bad we're too old for that shit.$5.00 -
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Quick ViewMR. AND MR. ASSHOLE
CardsFront: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs. Inside: You two bitches deserve each other.$5.50 -
Quick ViewMRS. AND MRS. BITCH
CardsFront: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs. Inside: You two bitches deserve each other.$5.50 -
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Quick ViewGET YOUR FAT ASS OVER HERE
CardsFront: The stockings are hung by the mantel with care. Inside: Now we're just waiting for Santa's fat ass.$5.00 -
Quick ViewHIPPIE DIPPIE BOLOGNA
CardsFront: Have you picked out your Christmas tree? Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies?$5.50 -
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Quick ViewSANTA’S FAVE STRIP JOINT
CardsFront: I met Prancer and Vixen. Inside: They work at a strip joint downtown.$5.00 -
Quick ViewEXPECT THE BEST
CardsFront: This Christmas will be great. Inside: As long as you buy me something fucking amazing.$5.00 -
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Sale!Hot
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Quick ViewCANCEL THIS SHIT
CardsFront: Did you hear the news? Inside: Santa died. Christmas is cancelled.$5.00 -
Quick ViewBIG STUPID HEAD
CardsFront: Have you ever wondered why Rudolph has a red nose? Inside: It's just a huge zit.$5.00 -
Quick ViewCHRISTMAS CHEER
CardsFront: Sending you some Christmas cheer. Inside: From a safe fucking distance.$5.00 -
Quick ViewYOU’RE TOO MUCH
CardsFront: It's too bad we can't spend the holidays together. Inside: Just kidding. We needed a year off.$5.00
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GET YOUR FAT ASS OVER HERE
CardsFront: The stockings are hung by the mantel with care. Inside: Now we're just waiting for Santa's fat ass.$5.00 -
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HIPPIE DIPPIE BOLOGNA
CardsFront: Have you picked out your Christmas tree? Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies?$5.50 -
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SANTA’S FAVE STRIP JOINT
CardsFront: I met Prancer and Vixen. Inside: They work at a strip joint downtown.$5.00 -
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EXPECT THE BEST
CardsFront: This Christmas will be great. Inside: As long as you buy me something fucking amazing.$5.00 -
Sale!Quick View
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Sale!HotQuick View
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CANCEL THIS SHIT
CardsFront: Did you hear the news? Inside: Santa died. Christmas is cancelled.$5.00 -
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BIG STUPID HEAD
CardsFront: Have you ever wondered why Rudolph has a red nose? Inside: It's just a huge zit.$5.00 -
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CHRISTMAS CHEER
CardsFront: Sending you some Christmas cheer. Inside: From a safe fucking distance.$5.00 -
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YOU’RE TOO MUCH
CardsFront: It's too bad we can't spend the holidays together. Inside: Just kidding. We needed a year off.$5.00 -
Quick ViewSNIP SNIP TIME
CardsFront: You are a great husband and father. Inside: But it's time for the snip-snip$5.50 -
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Quick ViewWIFE AND MOTHER
CardsFront: You are an excellent wife and an even better mother. Inside: Seriously. I could use more attention.$5.00 -
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Quick ViewCARELESS OR RECKLESS
CardsFront: You make parenting look easy. Inside: Probably because you don't give a shit.$5.00 -
Quick ViewSHIT ON MY HEAD
CardsFront: Thank you for raising me. Inside: I know I was a little shithead.$5.50 -
Quick ViewNO CASH VALUE
BirthdayFront: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Inside: But I don't want to put a dollar value on our relationship.$5.00 -
Quick ViewTOO MUCH MOOLA
BirthdayFront: We found you the perfect birthday gift. Inside: It was expensive. So we didn't buy it.$5.50 -
Quick ViewLOVE MARRIAGE BABIES
CardsFront: First comes love. Then comes marriage. Inside: Then everyone starts bugging you about having kids.$5.00 -
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