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Front: Congratulations on coming out.
Inside: I’m fucking proud of you.
Front: Love who you wanna love.
Inside: I really don’t give a shit.
Front: You’re the best.
Inside: No matter what’s in those undies.
Front: New name. New pronoun.
Inside: Same old jerk on the inside.
Front: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs.
Inside: You two bitches deserve each other.