Christmas
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MALLS WILL BLEED YOU DRY
Front: Time to go shopping. Back: This fucking sucks.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Time to go shopping.
Back: This fucking sucks. -
MRS. BITCH CLAUS
Front: Santa Claus is great. Back: But Mrs. Claus is a real bitch.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Santa Claus is great.
Back: But Mrs. Claus is a real bitch. -
TRAFFIC STOP
Front: Have you ever wondered where Santa gets his money? Back: It's from sex trafficking.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Have you ever wondered where Santa gets his money?
Back: It’s from sex trafficking. -
HAPPY WHATEVER
Front: Happy Holidays. Back: Or whatever the fuck we're supposed to say not to be offensive.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Holidays.
Back: Or whatever the fuck we’re supposed to say not to be offensive. -
CARROT WANG
Front: Frosty was at the winter carnival. Back: He was flashing everyone his carrot wang.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Frosty was at the winter carnival.
Back: He was flashing everyone his carrot wang. -
PARTY TIME
Front: I'm having a big Christmas party. Back: But you're not invited.Front: I’m having a big Christmas party.
Back: But you’re not invited.$5.00$2.00 Add to cart -
GREETING CARD MYSTERY BAG – HOLIDAY EDITION
Holiday Edition Greeting Card Mystery Bags include a random mix of 10 of our (amazing and hilarious) Christmas (and maybe 1 Hanukkah) greeting cards and 10 plain white envelopes for $30 (that's just $3.00/card)! The contents will differ from one bag to a next and none of the bags will have repeats!$30.00 Add to cartHoliday Edition Greeting Card Mystery Bags include a random mix of 10 of our (amazing and hilarious) Christmas (and maybe 1 Hanukkah) greeting cards and 10 plain white envelopes for $30 (that’s just $3.00/card)! The contents will differ from one bag to a next and none of the bags will have repeats!
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DICKMAN
Front: I built a snowman, but he melted. Back: What a dick.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I built a snowman, but he melted.
Back: What a dick. -
CHRISTMAS SHIT SHOW
Front: Christmas is here. Back: Let's get this shit over with.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Christmas is here.
Back: Let’s get this shit over with. -
REINDEER MEAT
Front: I saw a couple of Santa's reindeer recently. Back: I slaughtered them. Their meat is delicious.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I saw a couple of Santa’s reindeer recently.
Back: I slaughtered them. Their meat is delicious. -
MERRY CHRISTMAS OR WHATEVER
Front: We wish you a Merry Christmas. Back: Well, some of us do...$5.00 Add to cartFront: We wish you a Merry Christmas.
Back: Well, some of us do… -
WILD THINGS
Front: Have you ever wondered what reindeer do on their days off? Back: You don't want to know. It's wildly inappropriate.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Have you ever wondered what reindeer do on their days off?
Back: You don’t want to know. It’s wildly inappropriate. -
FOXY CHRISTMAS
Front: Christmas is all about friends and family. Back: It's too bad that you don't have either.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Christmas is all about friends and family.
Back: It’s too bad that you don’t have either. -
LOST ART FART
Front: Sending Christmas cards is almost a lost art. Back: So you're an asshole if you don't return one.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Sending Christmas cards is almost a lost art.
Back: So you’re an asshole if you don’t return one. -
BAD CREDIT SCORE
Front: The holiday season is the best. Back: Until the credit card statement arrives.$5.00 Add to cartFront: The holiday season is the best.
Back: Until the credit card statement arrives. -
HOLIDAY CARD
Front: It's the most wonderful time of year. Back: Though writing in all the cards is a pain in the ass.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s the most wonderful time of year.
Back: Though writing in all the cards is a pain in the ass. -
MORAL ORAL
Front: I know what I'm giving you for Christmas. Back: Oral.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I know what I’m giving you for Christmas.
Back: Oral. -
DEAD HO HO HOBO
Front: We went to see Santa. Back: He smelled like a dead hobo.$5.00 Add to cartFront: We went to see Santa.
Back: He smelled like a dead hobo.
