POSSIBLE SERVICE DISRUPTION
May 14, 2025
Christmas
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Quick ViewGIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS
BirthdayInside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewTOO MUCH LOVE
CardsFront: Time to buy gifts for everyone we love. Inside: Fuck. We love too many people.$5.50 -
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Quick ViewHOLIDAY HOLIDAY
ChristmasInside: Tip 3. Send out passive aggressive cards "joking" about how you hate the holidays. (Is it a joke? Or not? Best just keep to yourself.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewCREDIT THEFT
ChristmasInside: You get to run around like crazy making sure the day is special for your family, but with zero credit because of "Santa." (Don't forget to buy a special role of "Santa" wrapping paper.)$5.50 -
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Quick ViewFIGHT CLUB
CardsFront: I heard Mr. and Mrs. Claus are fighting. Inside: They're members of the North Pole fight club.$5.50 -
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Quick ViewSNOW DAY
CardsFront: Let it snow. Let it snow. Let it snow. Inside: As long as I don't have to drive anywhere.$5.50 -
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Quick ViewONLY ME
CardsFront: We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. Inside: Well, I do. The rest of my family doesn't give a crap.$5.50 -
Quick ViewWHAM BAM
CardsFront: Last Christmas I gave you my heart. Inside: Wait, did I say heart? I meant herpes.$5.50 -
Quick ViewGET YOUR FAT ASS OVER HERE
CardsFront: The stockings are hung by the mantel with care. Inside: Now we're just waiting for Santa's fat ass.$5.50 -
Quick ViewHIPPIE DIPPIE BOLOGNA
CardsFront: Have you picked out your Christmas tree? Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies?$5.50 -
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Out Of Stock
Quick ViewSANTA’S FAVE STRIP JOINT
CardsFront: I met Prancer and Vixen. Inside: They work at a strip joint downtown.$5.50 -
Quick ViewEXPECT THE BEST
CardsFront: This Christmas will be great. Inside: As long as you buy me something fucking amazing.$5.50 -
Quick ViewCANCEL THIS SHIT
CardsFront: Did you hear the news? Inside: Santa died. Christmas is cancelled.$5.50 -
Quick ViewBIG STUPID HEAD
CardsFront: Have you ever wondered why Rudolph has a red nose? Inside: It's just a huge zit.$5.50 -
Quick ViewCHRISTMAS CHEER
CardsFront: Sending you some Christmas cheer. Inside: From a safe fucking distance.$5.00 -
Quick ViewYOU’RE TOO MUCH
CardsFront: It's too bad we can't spend the holidays together. Inside: Just kidding. We needed a year off.$5.50 -
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Quick ViewTRAFFIC STOP
CardsFront: Have you ever wondered where Santa gets his money? Inside: It's from sex trafficking.$5.00
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Quick View
GIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS
BirthdayInside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)$5.50 -
Quick View
TOO MUCH LOVE
CardsFront: Time to buy gifts for everyone we love. Inside: Fuck. We love too many people.$5.50 -
Quick View
-
Quick View
HOLIDAY HOLIDAY
ChristmasInside: Tip 3. Send out passive aggressive cards "joking" about how you hate the holidays. (Is it a joke? Or not? Best just keep to yourself.)$5.50 -
Quick View
CREDIT THEFT
ChristmasInside: You get to run around like crazy making sure the day is special for your family, but with zero credit because of "Santa." (Don't forget to buy a special role of "Santa" wrapping paper.)$5.50 -
Quick View
-
Quick View
FIGHT CLUB
CardsFront: I heard Mr. and Mrs. Claus are fighting. Inside: They're members of the North Pole fight club.$5.50 -
Quick View
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Quick View
SNOW DAY
CardsFront: Let it snow. Let it snow. Let it snow. Inside: As long as I don't have to drive anywhere.$5.50 -
Quick View
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Quick View
ONLY ME
CardsFront: We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. Inside: Well, I do. The rest of my family doesn't give a crap.$5.50 -
Quick View
WHAM BAM
CardsFront: Last Christmas I gave you my heart. Inside: Wait, did I say heart? I meant herpes.$5.50 -
Quick View
GET YOUR FAT ASS OVER HERE
CardsFront: The stockings are hung by the mantel with care. Inside: Now we're just waiting for Santa's fat ass.$5.50 -
Quick View
HIPPIE DIPPIE BOLOGNA
CardsFront: Have you picked out your Christmas tree? Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies?$5.50 -
Quick View
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Out Of StockQuick View
SANTA’S FAVE STRIP JOINT
CardsFront: I met Prancer and Vixen. Inside: They work at a strip joint downtown.$5.50 -
Quick View
EXPECT THE BEST
CardsFront: This Christmas will be great. Inside: As long as you buy me something fucking amazing.$5.50 -
Quick View
CANCEL THIS SHIT
CardsFront: Did you hear the news? Inside: Santa died. Christmas is cancelled.$5.50 -
Quick View
BIG STUPID HEAD
CardsFront: Have you ever wondered why Rudolph has a red nose? Inside: It's just a huge zit.$5.50 -
Quick View
CHRISTMAS CHEER
CardsFront: Sending you some Christmas cheer. Inside: From a safe fucking distance.$5.00 -
Quick View
YOU’RE TOO MUCH
CardsFront: It's too bad we can't spend the holidays together. Inside: Just kidding. We needed a year off.$5.50 -
Quick View
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Quick View
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Quick View
TRAFFIC STOP
CardsFront: Have you ever wondered where Santa gets his money? Inside: It's from sex trafficking.$5.00
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