Christmas
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GET YOUR FAT ASS OVER HERE
Front:Â The stockings are hung by the mantel with care. Inside: Now we're just waiting for Santa's fat ass.$5.00 Add to cartFront:Â The stockings are hung by the mantel with care.
Inside: Now we’re just waiting for Santa’s fat ass. -
HIPPIE DIPPIE BOLOGNA
Front:Â Have you picked out your Christmas tree? Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies?$5.00 Add to cartFront:Â Have you picked out your Christmas tree?
Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies? -
FLY RUDOLPH FLY
Front:Â I know how Santa gets his reindeer to fly. Inside: Edibles.$5.00 Add to cartFront:Â I know how Santa gets his reindeer to fly.
Inside: Edibles. -
SANTA’S FAVE STRIP JOINT
Front:Â I met Prancer and Vixen. Inside: They work at a strip joint downtown.$5.00 Add to cartFront:Â I met Prancer and Vixen.
Inside: They work at a strip joint downtown. -
EXPECT THE BEST
Front: This Christmas will be great. Inside: As long as you buy me something fucking amazing.$5.00 Add to cartFront: This Christmas will be great.
Inside: As long as you buy me something fucking amazing. -
CANCEL THIS SHIT
Front: Did you hear the news? Inside: Santa died. Christmas is cancelled.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Did you hear the news?
Inside: Santa died. Christmas is cancelled. -
BIG STUPID HEAD
Front: Have you ever wondered why Rudolph has a red nose? Inside: It's just a huge zit.$5.00 Select optionsFront: Have you ever wondered why Rudolph has a red nose?
Inside: It’s just a huge zit. -
CHRISTMAS CHEER
Front: Sending you some Christmas cheer. Inside: From a safe fucking distance.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Sending you some Christmas cheer.
Inside: From a safe fucking distance. -
YOU’RE TOO MUCH
Front: It's too bad we can't spend the holidays together. Inside: Just kidding. We needed a year off.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s too bad we can’t spend the holidays together.
Inside: Just kidding. We needed a year off. -
MALLS WILL BLEED YOU DRY
Front: Time to go shopping. Inside: This fucking sucks.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Time to go shopping.
Inside: This fucking sucks. -
MRS. BITCH CLAUS
Front: Santa Claus is great. Inside: But Mrs. Claus is a real bitch.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Santa Claus is great.
Inside: But Mrs. Claus is a real bitch. -
TRAFFIC STOP
Front: Have you ever wondered where Santa gets his money? Inside: It's from sex trafficking.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Have you ever wondered where Santa gets his money?
Inside: It’s from sex trafficking. -
HAPPY WHATEVER
Front: Happy Holidays. Inside: Or whatever the fuck we're supposed to say not to be offensive.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Holidays.
Inside: Or whatever the fuck we’re supposed to say not to be offensive. -
CARROT WANG
Front: Frosty was at the winter carnival. Inside: He was flashing everyone his carrot wang.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Frosty was at the winter carnival.
Inside: He was flashing everyone his carrot wang. -
PARTY TIME
Front: I'm having a big Christmas party. Inside: But you're not invited.Front: I’m having a big Christmas party.
Inside: But you’re not invited.$5.00$2.00 Add to cart -
GREETING CARD MYSTERY BAG – HOLIDAY EDITION
Holiday Edition Greeting Card Mystery Bags include a random mix of 10 of our (amazing and hilarious) Christmas (and maybe 1 Hanukkah) greeting cards and 10 plain white envelopes for $30 (that's just $3.00/card)! The contents will differ from one bag to a next and none of the bags will have repeats!$30.00 Add to cartHoliday Edition Greeting Card Mystery Bags include a random mix of 10 of our (amazing and hilarious) Christmas (and maybe 1 Hanukkah) greeting cards and 10 plain white envelopes for $30 (that’s just $3.00/card)! The contents will differ from one bag to a next and none of the bags will have repeats!
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DICKMAN
Front: I built a snowman, but he melted. Inside: What a dick.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I built a snowman, but he melted.
Inside: What a dick. -
CHRISTMAS SHIT SHOW
Front: Christmas is here. Inside: Let's get this shit over with.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Christmas is here.
Inside: Let’s get this shit over with.
