New Arrivals
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BETTER LATE THAN NEVER
Front: I promise I didn't forget your birthday. Inside: I just forgot to buy a card on time.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I promise I didn’t forget your birthday.
Inside: I just forgot to buy a card on time. -
SOCIAL MEDIA WIN
Front: I know your birthday was the other day... Inside: I just needed social media to remind me.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I know your birthday was the other day…
Inside: I just needed social media to remind me. -
PICKY NOSE PICKER
Front: Gift cards are the perfect gift. Inside: For people that are too damn picky.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Gift cards are the perfect gift.
Inside: For people that are too damn picky. -
FUCKING BIRTHDAY
Front: Heard that you're celebrating a big day. Inside: Happy fucking birthday.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Heard that you’re celebrating a big day.
Inside: Happy fucking birthday. -
DAY DRINK DAY DRUNK
Front: Got big birthday plans? Inside: Or another night of drinking alone?$5.00 Add to cartFront: Got big birthday plans?
Inside: Or another night of drinking alone? -
NETFLIX, CARD, AND CHILL
Front: You deserve a huge birthday celebration. Inside: But I'm just giving you a card and buying take-out.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You deserve a huge birthday celebration.
Inside: But I’m just giving you a card and buying take-out. -
SILVER SHORT CURLY
Front: Getting older isn't so bad. Inside: Until the first grey pubic hair arrives.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Getting older isn’t so bad.
Inside: Until the first grey pubic hair arrives. -
BEST GIFT OF ALL
Front: Happy birthday to my dearest love. Inside: Instead of a gift can I just go down on you?$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy birthday to my dearest love.
Inside: Instead of a gift can I just go down on you? -
ALL ABOUT YOU
Front: Today is all about you. Inside: You're so selfish.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Today is all about you.
Inside: You’re so selfish. -
TOO OLD FOR THAT SHIT
Front: Birthdays are a time to party. Inside: Too bad we're too old for that shit.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Birthdays are a time to party.
Inside: Too bad we’re too old for that shit. -
OUT AND PROUD
Front: Congratulations on coming out. Inside: I'm fucking proud of you.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Congratulations on coming out.
Inside: I’m fucking proud of you. -
PRIDE BOT
Front: Love who you wanna love. Inside: I really don't give a shit.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Love who you wanna love.
Inside: I really don’t give a shit. -
UNDERWEAR DON’T CARE
Front: You're the best. Inside: No matter what's in those undies.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You’re the best.
Inside: No matter what’s in those undies. -
SAME OLD JERK
Front: New name. New pronoun. Inside: Same old jerk on the inside.$5.00 Add to cartFront: New name. New pronoun.
Inside: Same old jerk on the inside. -
MR. AND MR. ASSHOLE
Front: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs. Inside: You two bitches deserve each other.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs.
Inside: You two bitches deserve each other. -
MRS. AND MRS. BITCH
Front: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs. Inside: You two bitches deserve each other.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs.
Inside: You two bitches deserve each other. -
FAKE NEWS
Front: Congratulations. Inside: That's fucking awesome news.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Congratulations.
Inside: That’s fucking awesome news. -
GET YOUR FAT ASS OVER HERE
Front: The stockings are hung by the mantel with care. Inside: Now we're just waiting for Santa's fat ass.$5.00 Add to cartFront: The stockings are hung by the mantel with care.
Inside: Now we’re just waiting for Santa’s fat ass. -
HIPPIE DIPPIE BOLOGNA
Front: Have you picked out your Christmas tree? Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies?$5.00 Add to cartFront: Have you picked out your Christmas tree?
Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies? -
FLY RUDOLPH FLY
Front: I know how Santa gets his reindeer to fly. Inside: Edibles.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I know how Santa gets his reindeer to fly.
Inside: Edibles. -
SANTA’S FAVE STRIP JOINT
Front: I met Prancer and Vixen. Inside: They work at a strip joint downtown.$5.00 Add to cartFront: I met Prancer and Vixen.
Inside: They work at a strip joint downtown.
HELP AN INDIGENOUS COMMUNITY
Yesterday was a big day for Indigenous communities across Canada. The first National Day for Truth and Reconciliation. Canada is rich with First Nations, Metis
FINALLY, NEW CARDS + WEBSITE UPDATES!
Hello beautiful people. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been busy designing some new cards! It’s been awhile since I went on a designing
Father’s Day is Coming.
Are you thinking ahead to Father’s Day? It is coming up June 20th. You can check out my Father’s Day or Parenting cards and if you’re thinking of making a
MARCH OF 2021…
Remember last March when the world seemed to suddenly stop? Everyone was told to stay home to “bend the curve” and people only went out
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE…OR A PRETTY GOOD ONE AT LEAST
Several months ago I started posting about how people should buy my greeting cards because “Laughter is the Best Medicine.” I had heard that saying
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DUSTIN IS SO OLDSCHOOL
Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: Holy fuck, you're old.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Birthday.
Inside: Holy fuck, you’re old. -
DRINK DRANK DRUNK
Front: Another birthday. Inside: Another reason to get shit-faced.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Another birthday.
Inside: Another reason to get shit-faced. -
WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY
Front: It's your birthday. Inside: Or was your birthday? Or is almost your birthday? When the fuck is your birthday?$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s your birthday.
Inside: Or was your birthday? Or is almost your birthday? When the fuck is your birthday? -
FUCK US AWESOMELY
Front: Thank you. Back: You're fucking awesome.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Thank you.
Back: You’re fucking awesome. -
OLD BROAD
Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: You old broad.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Happy Birthday.
Inside: You old broad. -
CRAZY SHIT
Front: You deserve to be celebrated. Inside: You do a lot of crazy shit... And you're still alive.$5.00 Add to cartFront: You deserve to be celebrated.
Inside: You do a lot of crazy shit… And you’re still alive. -
WHOOP DEE DOO
Front: It's your birthday. Inside: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It’s your birthday.
Inside: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. -
WHAT AN ASS
Front: Another year older. Inside: And you're still an asshole.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Another year older.
Inside: And you’re still an asshole. -
BOOBIES
Front: It must be your birthday. Inside: I can tell because your boobs are sagging.$5.00 Add to cartFront: It must be your birthday.
Inside: I can tell because your boobs are sagging. -
MOMMY’S VAG
Front: Your birthday is a reason to celebrate. Inside: Celebrate coming out of your mom's vagina.$5.00 Add to cartFront: Your birthday is a reason to celebrate.
Inside: Celebrate coming out of your mom’s vagina.