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Front: I’m happy to hear that you’re retiring.
Back: Now I don’t have to put up with your shitty attitude.
Front: It’s great that you’re retiring.
Back: I’ve been wanting to get rid of you for years.
Front: I heard you retired.
Back: Are you out of your fucking mind?
Front: Congrats on your retirement.
Back: Work is for suckers anyway.
Front: Retirement is an important step in a person’s life.
Back: It’s also the last step before death.
Front: I heard you’re retiring.
Inside: Finally admitting you’re too old?
Front: Finally retiring?
Back: Should you have done that years ago?
Front: Wow, so you’re retiring.
Back: I didn’t even know you had a job.
Front: You’ve finally retired.
Back: I guess that leaves more time for whoring around.
Front: It’s time to retire, huh?
Back: What from? Sitting on the couch?