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Birthday

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    GIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS

    Birthday
    Inside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    FUCKING BIRTHDAY CARDS

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. It likely means that I was invited to a celebration of some sort. (That means being around people.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    GETTING OLDER

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. This is total bullshit. Getting older sucks. (Your body aches, your knees make noises + you sag a little more + more with each passing year.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    SNAIL MAIL IS THE BEST

    Birthday
    Inside: 3. Go out of your way to purchase them a birthday card in advance. Write a message, sign your name and mail or hand deliver the card to the birthday person. (Yes, this piece of paper that you spent money on will end up getting tossed, but the birthday person will know that, without a doubt, you are better than the folks that only did #1 or #2.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    BIG ONE

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. You're getting pretty old, so you should celebrate while you still can. (Did you know that statistically you are 14% more likely to die on your birthday than any other day? Try not to party that hard.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    CAKE MAKES IT BETTER

    Birthday
    Inside: Step 3. That's it... The cake will make you happy. (You make also experience feelings of guilt + disgust.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    ANTI SOCIAL TIME

    Birthday
    Inside: Follow this advice and you'll have a happy birthday. (All thanks to the genius greeting card writer that wrote this card and the brilliant person that chose it.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    PICKY NOSE PICKER

    Birthday
    Front: Gift cards are the perfect gift. Inside: For people that are too damn picky.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    FUCKING BIRTHDAY

    Birthday
    Front: Heard that you're celebrating a big day. Inside: Happy fucking birthday.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    DAY DRINK DAY DRUNK

    Birthday
    Front: Got big birthday plans? Inside: Or another night of drinking alone?
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    NETFLIX, CARD, AND CHILL

    Birthday
    Front: You deserve a huge birthday celebration. Inside: But I'm just giving you a card and buying take-out.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    SILVER SHORT CURLY

    Birthday
    Front: Getting older isn't so bad. Inside: Until the first grey pubic hair arrives.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    BEST GIFT OF ALL

    Birthday
    Front: Happy birthday to my dearest love. Inside: Instead of a gift can I just go down on you?
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    ALL ABOUT YOU

    Birthday
    Front: Today is all about you. Inside: You're so selfish.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    TOO OLD FOR THAT SHIT

    Birthday
    Front: Birthdays are a time to party. Inside: Too bad we're too old for that shit.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    NO CASH VALUE

    Birthday
    Front: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Inside: But I don't want to put a dollar value on our relationship.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    TOO MUCH MOOLA

    Birthday
    Front: We found you the perfect birthday gift. Inside: It was expensive. So we didn't buy it.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    CRAZY SHIT

    Birthday
    Front: You deserve to be celebrated. Inside: You do a lot of crazy shit... And you're still alive.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    COME CUM

    Birthday
    Front: Your birthday is coming... Inside: And I will make you cum on your birthday.
    $5.50
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    STOP GETTING OLD

    Birthday
    Front: Every year you get older. Inside: And every year I like you less.
    $1.00
  • Quick View

    NOT AN AGELESS BEAUTY

    Birthday
    Front: You haven't aged a day since we met. Inside: But you looked old back then.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    CARD CARD GIFT CARD

    Birthday
    Front: Want your birthday gift? Inside: Here's a gift card. Go get it.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    NATALIE LIKES OWLS

    Birthday
    Front: You're a real hoot. Inside: Oops, I mean ho. You're a real ho.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    MISTAKES HAPPEN

    Birthday
    Front: Let's celebrate your birth. Inside: Even though you were an unplanned pregnancy.
    $5.00

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  • Quick View

    GIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS

    Birthday
    Inside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    FUCKING BIRTHDAY CARDS

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. It likely means that I was invited to a celebration of some sort. (That means being around people.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    GETTING OLDER

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. This is total bullshit. Getting older sucks. (Your body aches, your knees make noises + you sag a little more + more with each passing year.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    SNAIL MAIL IS THE BEST

    Birthday
    Inside: 3. Go out of your way to purchase them a birthday card in advance. Write a message, sign your name and mail or hand deliver the card to the birthday person. (Yes, this piece of paper that you spent money on will end up getting tossed, but the birthday person will know that, without a doubt, you are better than the folks that only did #1 or #2.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    BIG ONE

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. You're getting pretty old, so you should celebrate while you still can. (Did you know that statistically you are 14% more likely to die on your birthday than any other day? Try not to party that hard.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    CAKE MAKES IT BETTER

    Birthday
    Inside: Step 3. That's it... The cake will make you happy. (You make also experience feelings of guilt + disgust.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    ANTI SOCIAL TIME

    Birthday
    Inside: Follow this advice and you'll have a happy birthday. (All thanks to the genius greeting card writer that wrote this card and the brilliant person that chose it.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    PICKY NOSE PICKER

    Birthday
    Front: Gift cards are the perfect gift. Inside: For people that are too damn picky.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    FUCKING BIRTHDAY

    Birthday
    Front: Heard that you're celebrating a big day. Inside: Happy fucking birthday.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    DAY DRINK DAY DRUNK

    Birthday
    Front: Got big birthday plans? Inside: Or another night of drinking alone?
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    NETFLIX, CARD, AND CHILL

    Birthday
    Front: You deserve a huge birthday celebration. Inside: But I'm just giving you a card and buying take-out.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    SILVER SHORT CURLY

    Birthday
    Front: Getting older isn't so bad. Inside: Until the first grey pubic hair arrives.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    BEST GIFT OF ALL

    Birthday
    Front: Happy birthday to my dearest love. Inside: Instead of a gift can I just go down on you?
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    ALL ABOUT YOU

    Birthday
    Front: Today is all about you. Inside: You're so selfish.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    TOO OLD FOR THAT SHIT

    Birthday
    Front: Birthdays are a time to party. Inside: Too bad we're too old for that shit.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    NO CASH VALUE

    Birthday
    Front: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Inside: But I don't want to put a dollar value on our relationship.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    TOO MUCH MOOLA

    Birthday
    Front: We found you the perfect birthday gift. Inside: It was expensive. So we didn't buy it.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    CRAZY SHIT

    Birthday
    Front: You deserve to be celebrated. Inside: You do a lot of crazy shit... And you're still alive.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    COME CUM

    Birthday
    Front: Your birthday is coming... Inside: And I will make you cum on your birthday.
    $5.50
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    STOP GETTING OLD

    Birthday
    Front: Every year you get older. Inside: And every year I like you less.
    $1.00
  • Quick View

    NOT AN AGELESS BEAUTY

    Birthday
    Front: You haven't aged a day since we met. Inside: But you looked old back then.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    CARD CARD GIFT CARD

    Birthday
    Front: Want your birthday gift? Inside: Here's a gift card. Go get it.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    NATALIE LIKES OWLS

    Birthday
    Front: You're a real hoot. Inside: Oops, I mean ho. You're a real ho.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    MISTAKES HAPPEN

    Birthday
    Front: Let's celebrate your birth. Inside: Even though you were an unplanned pregnancy.
    $5.00
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