Birthday
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OH HAPPY DAY
BirthdayFront: Wishing you the happiest of days. Inside: If it's not a happy day, that's on you.$5.50 -
PARTIES SUCK
BirthdayFront: Time for your birthday party. Inside: Just so you know, I'm leaving after the cake and I didn't get a gift.$5.50 -
EAT EAT EAT
BirthdayFront: Today is your special day. Inside: Eat whatever the fuck you want.$5.50 -
BIRTHDAY BEAR DICK
BirthdayFront: Cheers to another year. Inside: Of dicking around until you die.$5.50 -
GIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS
BirthdayInside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)$5.50 -
FUCKING BIRTHDAY CARDS
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. It likely means that I was invited to a celebration of some sort. (That means being around people.)$5.50 -
GETTING OLDER
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. This is total bullshit. Getting older sucks. (Your body aches, your knees make noises + you sag a little more + more with each passing year.)$5.50 -
SNAIL MAIL IS THE BEST
BirthdayInside: 3. Go out of your way to purchase them a birthday card in advance. Write a message, sign your name and mail or hand deliver the card to the birthday person. (Yes, this piece of paper that you spent money on will end up getting tossed, but the birthday person will know that, without a doubt, you are better than the folks that only did #1 or #2.)$5.50 -
BIG ONE
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. You're getting pretty old, so you should celebrate while you still can. (Did you know that statistically you are 14% more likely to die on your birthday than any other day? Try not to party that hard.)$5.50 -
CAKE MAKES IT BETTER
BirthdayInside: Step 3. That's it... The cake will make you happy. (You make also experience feelings of guilt + disgust.)$5.50 -
ANTI SOCIAL TIME
BirthdayInside: Follow this advice and you'll have a happy birthday. (All thanks to the genius greeting card writer that wrote this card and the brilliant person that chose it.)$5.50 -
PICKY NOSE PICKER
BirthdayFront: Gift cards are the perfect gift. Inside: For people that are too damn picky.$5.50 -
FUCKING BIRTHDAY
BirthdayFront: Heard that you're celebrating a big day. Inside: Happy fucking birthday.$5.50 -
DAY DRINK DAY DRUNK
BirthdayFront: Got big birthday plans? Inside: Or another night of drinking alone?$5.50 -
NETFLIX, CARD, AND CHILL
BirthdayFront: You deserve a huge birthday celebration. Inside: But I'm just giving you a card and buying take-out.$5.50 -
SILVER SHORT CURLY
BirthdayFront: Getting older isn't so bad. Inside: Until the first grey pubic hair arrives.$5.50 -
BEST GIFT OF ALL
BirthdayFront: Happy birthday to my dearest love. Inside: Instead of a gift can I just go down on you?$5.50 -
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TOO OLD FOR THAT SHIT
BirthdayFront: Birthdays are a time to party. Inside: Too bad we're too old for that shit.$5.50 -
NO CASH VALUE
BirthdayFront: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Inside: But I don't want to put a dollar value on our relationship.$5.50 -
TOO MUCH MOOLA
BirthdayFront: We found you the perfect birthday gift. Inside: It was expensive. So we didn't buy it.$5.50 -
CRAZY SHIT
BirthdayFront: You deserve to be celebrated. Inside: You do a lot of crazy shit... And you're still alive.$5.50 -
COME CUM
BirthdayFront: Your birthday is coming... Inside: And I will make you cum on your birthday.$5.50 -
STOP GETTING OLD
BirthdayFront: Every year you get older. Inside: And every year I like you less.$5.00$1.00
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OH HAPPY DAY
BirthdayFront: Wishing you the happiest of days. Inside: If it's not a happy day, that's on you.$5.50 -
PARTIES SUCK
BirthdayFront: Time for your birthday party. Inside: Just so you know, I'm leaving after the cake and I didn't get a gift.$5.50 -
EAT EAT EAT
BirthdayFront: Today is your special day. Inside: Eat whatever the fuck you want.$5.50 -
BIRTHDAY BEAR DICK
BirthdayFront: Cheers to another year. Inside: Of dicking around until you die.$5.50 -
GIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS
BirthdayInside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)$5.50 -
FUCKING BIRTHDAY CARDS
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. It likely means that I was invited to a celebration of some sort. (That means being around people.)$5.50 -
GETTING OLDER
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. This is total bullshit. Getting older sucks. (Your body aches, your knees make noises + you sag a little more + more with each passing year.)$5.50 -
SNAIL MAIL IS THE BEST
BirthdayInside: 3. Go out of your way to purchase them a birthday card in advance. Write a message, sign your name and mail or hand deliver the card to the birthday person. (Yes, this piece of paper that you spent money on will end up getting tossed, but the birthday person will know that, without a doubt, you are better than the folks that only did #1 or #2.)$5.50 -
BIG ONE
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. You're getting pretty old, so you should celebrate while you still can. (Did you know that statistically you are 14% more likely to die on your birthday than any other day? Try not to party that hard.)$5.50 -
CAKE MAKES IT BETTER
BirthdayInside: Step 3. That's it... The cake will make you happy. (You make also experience feelings of guilt + disgust.)$5.50 -
ANTI SOCIAL TIME
BirthdayInside: Follow this advice and you'll have a happy birthday. (All thanks to the genius greeting card writer that wrote this card and the brilliant person that chose it.)$5.50 -
PICKY NOSE PICKER
BirthdayFront: Gift cards are the perfect gift. Inside: For people that are too damn picky.$5.50 -
FUCKING BIRTHDAY
BirthdayFront: Heard that you're celebrating a big day. Inside: Happy fucking birthday.$5.50 -
DAY DRINK DAY DRUNK
BirthdayFront: Got big birthday plans? Inside: Or another night of drinking alone?$5.50 -
NETFLIX, CARD, AND CHILL
BirthdayFront: You deserve a huge birthday celebration. Inside: But I'm just giving you a card and buying take-out.$5.50 -
SILVER SHORT CURLY
BirthdayFront: Getting older isn't so bad. Inside: Until the first grey pubic hair arrives.$5.50 -
BEST GIFT OF ALL
BirthdayFront: Happy birthday to my dearest love. Inside: Instead of a gift can I just go down on you?$5.50 -
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TOO OLD FOR THAT SHIT
BirthdayFront: Birthdays are a time to party. Inside: Too bad we're too old for that shit.$5.50 -
NO CASH VALUE
BirthdayFront: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Inside: But I don't want to put a dollar value on our relationship.$5.50 -
TOO MUCH MOOLA
BirthdayFront: We found you the perfect birthday gift. Inside: It was expensive. So we didn't buy it.$5.50 -
CRAZY SHIT
BirthdayFront: You deserve to be celebrated. Inside: You do a lot of crazy shit... And you're still alive.$5.50 -
COME CUM
BirthdayFront: Your birthday is coming... Inside: And I will make you cum on your birthday.$5.50 -
STOP GETTING OLD
BirthdayFront: Every year you get older. Inside: And every year I like you less.$5.00$1.00
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