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Ugly Christmas Sweater Day
Front: Congratulations on your big day.
Back: When you two get a divorce, call me.
Front: Happy Valentine’s Day.
Inside: Let’s get freaky.
Front: Living away from you has taught me one thing.
Back: You were suffocating me.
Front: I have feelings for you.
Inside: Feelings in my pants.
Front: I heard you got a promotion.
Back: Way to sleep your way to the top.
Front: I heard what happened.
Inside: Wow, you just can’t do anything right.
Front: You’re smile makes me smile.
Back: Cuz you look like a fucking goof.
Front: I know we’ll be friends forever.
Back: Though I should tell you now, I don’t like you that much.
Front: Every Christmas Santa eats our cookies and drinks our milk.
Back: Then he takes a huge dump in our bathroom.
Front: Merry Christmas.
Back: That’s it. Merry Christmas.
Front: Have an amazing time.
Inside: Just don’t bring home any STD’s.
Front: I heard it’s your birthday.
Inside: I also heard I don’t give a shit.
Front: Happy Anniversary you two.
Inside: You aren’t sick of each other?