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Front: Time to go shopping. Back: This fucking sucks.
Front: Santa Claus is great. Back: But Mrs. Claus is a real bitch.
Front: Have you ever wondered where Santa gets his money? Back: It’s from sex trafficking.
Front: Happy Holidays. Back: Or whatever the fuck we’re supposed to say not to be offensive.
Front: Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Back: And a happy fucking New Year.
Front: Season’s greetings. Back: You son-of-a-bitch.
Front: Happy holidays. Back: Well, they’d be happy if you gave me some money.