Front: Happy Holidays.
Inside: Or whatever the fuck we’re supposed to say not to be offensive.
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Front: I love babies.
Inside: But they poo a lot.
Front: Bringing a new life into this world is a beautiful thing.
Inside: But it hurts like a bitch.
Front: I guess it’s time to baby-proof the house.
Inside: You don’t want any of those little buggers getting in.