Front: I promise I didn’t forget your birthday.
Inside: I just forgot to buy a card on time.
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Front: Your birthday just slipped my mind.
Inside: I guess I was too busy thinking about your fat ass.
Front: I know your birthday was the other day…
Inside: I just needed social media to remind me.
Front: I’m sorry I missed your birthday.
Inside: You’re just not one of my priorities right now.