2024 WALL CALENDAR
September 25, 2023
Birthday
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Quick ViewFUCKING BIRTHDAY CARDS
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. It likely means that I was invited to a celebration of some sort. (That means being around people.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewGETTING OLDER
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. This is total bullshit. Getting older sucks. (Your body aches, your knees make noises + you sag a little more + more with each passing year.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewSNAIL MAIL IS THE BEST
BirthdayInside: 3. Go out of your way to purchase them a birthday card in advance. Write a message, sign your name and mail or hand deliver the card to the birthday person. (Yes, this piece of paper that you spent money on will end up getting tossed, but the birthday person will know that, without a doubt, you are better than the folks that only did #1 or #2.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewBIG ONE
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. You're getting pretty old, so you should celebrate while you still can. (Did you know that statistically you are 14% more likely to die on your birthday than any other day? Try not to party that hard.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewCAKE MAKES IT BETTER
BirthdayInside: Step 3. That's it... The cake will make you happy. (You make also experience feelings of guilt + disgust.)$5.50 -
Quick ViewANTI SOCIAL TIME
BirthdayInside: Follow this advice and you'll have a happy birthday. (All thanks to the genius greeting card writer that wrote this card and the brilliant person that chose it.)$5.50 -
Sale!
Quick View -
Sale!Hot
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Quick ViewNO CASH VALUE
BirthdayFront: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Inside: But I don't want to put a dollar value on our relationship.$5.00 -
Quick ViewTOO MUCH MOOLA
BirthdayFront: We found you the perfect birthday gift. Inside: It was expensive. So we didn't buy it.$5.50 -
Quick ViewCRAZY SHIT
BirthdayFront: You deserve to be celebrated. Inside: You do a lot of crazy shit... And you're still alive.$5.50 -
Quick ViewCOME CUM
BirthdayFront: Your birthday is coming... Inside: And I will make you cum on your birthday.$5.50 -
Sale!
Quick ViewSTOP GETTING OLD
BirthdayFront: Every year you get older. Inside: And every year I like you less.$1.00 -
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Quick ViewNOT AN AGELESS BEAUTY
BirthdayFront: You haven't aged a day since we met. Inside: But you looked old back then.$5.00 -
Quick ViewCARD CARD GIFT CARD
BirthdayFront: Want your birthday gift? Inside: Here's a gift card. Go get it.$5.50 -
Quick ViewNATALIE LIKES OWLS
BirthdayFront: You're a real hoot. Inside: Oops, I mean ho. You're a real ho.$5.50 -
Out Of Stock
Quick ViewFUCKING BIRTHDAYS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Happy Birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. FRONT: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. INSIDE: Shut the fuck up. FRONT: You only live once. INSIDE: Too bad you already fucked up. FRONT: May all your birthday wishes come true. INSIDE: Except for that one. You fucking pervert. FRONT: Have a very happy birthday. INSIDE: Or don't. I don't fucking care.$25.00 -
Out Of Stock
Quick ViewTHE ESSENTIALS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Let's celebrate. INSIDE: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow. FRONT: It's great that you two found each other. INSIDE: Weirdos gotta stick together. FRONT: Babies are great. INSIDE: Unless you get one of the weird looking ones. FRONT: Happy birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: Another year older. INSIDE: And you're still an asshole.$25.00 -
Quick ViewBEST OF BIRTHDAYS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: So go fuck yourself. FRONT: Make a wish and blow out your candles. INSIDE: Then blow yourself. Cocksucker. FRONT: I heard it's your birthday. INSIDE: I also heard I don't give a shit. FRONT: You always throw the best birthday parties. INSIDE: Is it to make up for your small penis? FRONT: Have a happy birthday. INSIDE: Or rot in hell you old bastard. FRONT: You know who loves birthday parties? INSIDE: Little sissies.$25.00 -
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Quick ViewMISTAKES HAPPEN
BirthdayFront: Let's celebrate your birth. Inside: Even though you were an unplanned pregnancy.$5.00
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Quick View
FUCKING BIRTHDAY CARDS
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. It likely means that I was invited to a celebration of some sort. (That means being around people.)$5.50 -
Quick View
GETTING OLDER
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. This is total bullshit. Getting older sucks. (Your body aches, your knees make noises + you sag a little more + more with each passing year.)$5.50 -
Quick View
SNAIL MAIL IS THE BEST
BirthdayInside: 3. Go out of your way to purchase them a birthday card in advance. Write a message, sign your name and mail or hand deliver the card to the birthday person. (Yes, this piece of paper that you spent money on will end up getting tossed, but the birthday person will know that, without a doubt, you are better than the folks that only did #1 or #2.)$5.50 -
Quick View
BIG ONE
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. You're getting pretty old, so you should celebrate while you still can. (Did you know that statistically you are 14% more likely to die on your birthday than any other day? Try not to party that hard.)$5.50 -
Quick View
CAKE MAKES IT BETTER
BirthdayInside: Step 3. That's it... The cake will make you happy. (You make also experience feelings of guilt + disgust.)$5.50 -
Quick View
ANTI SOCIAL TIME
BirthdayInside: Follow this advice and you'll have a happy birthday. (All thanks to the genius greeting card writer that wrote this card and the brilliant person that chose it.)$5.50 -
Sale!Quick View
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Sale!HotQuick View
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Quick View
NO CASH VALUE
BirthdayFront: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Inside: But I don't want to put a dollar value on our relationship.$5.00 -
Quick View
TOO MUCH MOOLA
BirthdayFront: We found you the perfect birthday gift. Inside: It was expensive. So we didn't buy it.$5.50 -
Quick View
CRAZY SHIT
BirthdayFront: You deserve to be celebrated. Inside: You do a lot of crazy shit... And you're still alive.$5.50 -
Quick View
COME CUM
BirthdayFront: Your birthday is coming... Inside: And I will make you cum on your birthday.$5.50 -
Sale!Quick View
STOP GETTING OLD
BirthdayFront: Every year you get older. Inside: And every year I like you less.$1.00 -
Quick View
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Quick View
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Quick View
NOT AN AGELESS BEAUTY
BirthdayFront: You haven't aged a day since we met. Inside: But you looked old back then.$5.00 -
Quick View
CARD CARD GIFT CARD
BirthdayFront: Want your birthday gift? Inside: Here's a gift card. Go get it.$5.50 -
Quick View
NATALIE LIKES OWLS
BirthdayFront: You're a real hoot. Inside: Oops, I mean ho. You're a real ho.$5.50 -
Out Of StockQuick View
FUCKING BIRTHDAYS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Happy Birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. FRONT: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. INSIDE: Shut the fuck up. FRONT: You only live once. INSIDE: Too bad you already fucked up. FRONT: May all your birthday wishes come true. INSIDE: Except for that one. You fucking pervert. FRONT: Have a very happy birthday. INSIDE: Or don't. I don't fucking care.$25.00 -
Out Of StockQuick View
THE ESSENTIALS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Let's celebrate. INSIDE: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow. FRONT: It's great that you two found each other. INSIDE: Weirdos gotta stick together. FRONT: Babies are great. INSIDE: Unless you get one of the weird looking ones. FRONT: Happy birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: Another year older. INSIDE: And you're still an asshole.$25.00 -
Quick View
BEST OF BIRTHDAYS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: So go fuck yourself. FRONT: Make a wish and blow out your candles. INSIDE: Then blow yourself. Cocksucker. FRONT: I heard it's your birthday. INSIDE: I also heard I don't give a shit. FRONT: You always throw the best birthday parties. INSIDE: Is it to make up for your small penis? FRONT: Have a happy birthday. INSIDE: Or rot in hell you old bastard. FRONT: You know who loves birthday parties? INSIDE: Little sissies.$25.00 -
Quick View
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Quick View
MISTAKES HAPPEN
BirthdayFront: Let's celebrate your birth. Inside: Even though you were an unplanned pregnancy.$5.00
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