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Birthday

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    COVID BLANK

    Cards
    Front: We’re ready for this asshole virus to fuck off. Inside: Blank
    $5.00
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    FUCKING COVID

    Cards
    Front: Sorry we couldn’t celebrate together. Inside: Fucking Covid.
    $5.00
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    NO CASH VALUE

    Birthday
    Front: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Inside: But I don't want to put a dollar value on our relationship.
    $5.00
  • Out Of Stock
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    TOO MUCH MOOLA

    Birthday
    Front: We found you the perfect birthday gift. Inside: It was expensive. So we didn't buy it.
    $5.00
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    CRAZY SHIT

    Birthday
    Front: You deserve to be celebrated. Inside: You do a lot of crazy shit... And you're still alive.
    $5.00
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    COME CUM

    Birthday
    Front: Your birthday is coming... Inside: And I will make you cum on your birthday.
    $5.00
  • Sale!
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    STOP GETTING OLD

    Birthday
    Front: Every year you get older. Inside: And every year I like you less.
    $2.50
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    NOT AN AGELESS BEAUTY

    Birthday
    Front: You haven't aged a day since we met. Inside: But you looked old back then.
    $5.00
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    CARD CARD GIFT CARD

    Birthday
    Front: Want your birthday gift? Inside: Here's a gift card. Go get it.
    $5.00
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    NATALIE LIKES OWLS

    Birthday
    Front: You're a real hoot. Inside: Oops, I mean ho. You're a real ho.
    $5.00
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    FUCKING BIRTHDAYS

    Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Happy Birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. FRONT: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. INSIDE: Shut the fuck up. FRONT: You only live once. INSIDE: Too bad you already fucked up. FRONT: May all your birthday wishes come true. INSIDE: Except for that one. You fucking pervert. FRONT: Have a very happy birthday. INSIDE: Or don't. I don't fucking care.  
    $25.00
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    THE ESSENTIALS

    Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Let's celebrate. INSIDE: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow. FRONT: It's great that you two found each other. INSIDE: Weirdos gotta stick together. FRONT: Babies are great. INSIDE: Unless you get one of the weird looking ones. FRONT: Happy birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: Another year older. INSIDE: And you're still an asshole.  
    $25.00
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    BEST OF BIRTHDAYS

    Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: So go fuck yourself. FRONT: Make a wish and blow out your candles. INSIDE: Then blow yourself. Cocksucker. FRONT: I heard it's your birthday. INSIDE: I also heard I don't give a shit. FRONT: You always throw the best birthday parties. INSIDE: Is it to make up for your small penis? FRONT: Have a happy birthday. INSIDE: Or rot in hell you old bastard. FRONT: You know who loves birthday parties? INSIDE: Little sissies.  
    $25.00
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    BITCH PARTY

    Cards
    Front: It's party time. Back: Where my bitches at?
    $5.00
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    JUST SAY NO

    Cards
    Front: Let's go celebrate. Back: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow.
    $5.00
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    MISTAKES HAPPEN

    Birthday
    Front: Let's celebrate your birth. Inside: Even though you were an unplanned pregnancy.
    $5.00
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    WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY

    Birthday
    Front: It's your birthday. Inside: Or was your birthday? Or is almost your birthday? When the fuck is your birthday?
    $5.00
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    DEFINITELY TOO OLD

    Birthday
    Front: A piece of birthday advice for you? Inside: Start lying about your age.
    $5.00
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    OLD BROAD

    Birthday
    Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: You old broad.
    $5.00
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    MOMMY’S VAG

    Birthday
    Front: Your birthday is a reason to celebrate. Inside: Celebrate coming out of your mom's vagina.
    $5.00
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    DEAD BEAT

    Birthday
    Front: Happy birthday. Inside: Think you'll make it to the next one?
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    ANOTHER FUCKING DAY

    Birthday
    Front: Have a very happy birthday. Inside: Or don't. I don't fucking care.
    $5.00

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  • Quick View

    COVID BLANK

    Cards
    Front: We’re ready for this asshole virus to fuck off. Inside: Blank
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    FUCKING COVID

    Cards
    Front: Sorry we couldn’t celebrate together. Inside: Fucking Covid.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    NO CASH VALUE

    Birthday
    Front: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Inside: But I don't want to put a dollar value on our relationship.
    $5.00
  • Out Of Stock
    Quick View

    TOO MUCH MOOLA

    Birthday
    Front: We found you the perfect birthday gift. Inside: It was expensive. So we didn't buy it.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    CRAZY SHIT

    Birthday
    Front: You deserve to be celebrated. Inside: You do a lot of crazy shit... And you're still alive.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    COME CUM

    Birthday
    Front: Your birthday is coming... Inside: And I will make you cum on your birthday.
    $5.00
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    STOP GETTING OLD

    Birthday
    Front: Every year you get older. Inside: And every year I like you less.
    $2.50
  • Quick View
  • Quick View
  • Quick View

    NOT AN AGELESS BEAUTY

    Birthday
    Front: You haven't aged a day since we met. Inside: But you looked old back then.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    CARD CARD GIFT CARD

    Birthday
    Front: Want your birthday gift? Inside: Here's a gift card. Go get it.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    NATALIE LIKES OWLS

    Birthday
    Front: You're a real hoot. Inside: Oops, I mean ho. You're a real ho.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    FUCKING BIRTHDAYS

    Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Happy Birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. FRONT: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. INSIDE: Shut the fuck up. FRONT: You only live once. INSIDE: Too bad you already fucked up. FRONT: May all your birthday wishes come true. INSIDE: Except for that one. You fucking pervert. FRONT: Have a very happy birthday. INSIDE: Or don't. I don't fucking care.  
    $25.00
  • Quick View

    THE ESSENTIALS

    Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Let's celebrate. INSIDE: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow. FRONT: It's great that you two found each other. INSIDE: Weirdos gotta stick together. FRONT: Babies are great. INSIDE: Unless you get one of the weird looking ones. FRONT: Happy birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: Another year older. INSIDE: And you're still an asshole.  
    $25.00
  • Quick View

    BEST OF BIRTHDAYS

    Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: So go fuck yourself. FRONT: Make a wish and blow out your candles. INSIDE: Then blow yourself. Cocksucker. FRONT: I heard it's your birthday. INSIDE: I also heard I don't give a shit. FRONT: You always throw the best birthday parties. INSIDE: Is it to make up for your small penis? FRONT: Have a happy birthday. INSIDE: Or rot in hell you old bastard. FRONT: You know who loves birthday parties? INSIDE: Little sissies.  
    $25.00
  • Quick View

    BITCH PARTY

    Cards
    Front: It's party time. Back: Where my bitches at?
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    JUST SAY NO

    Cards
    Front: Let's go celebrate. Back: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    MISTAKES HAPPEN

    Birthday
    Front: Let's celebrate your birth. Inside: Even though you were an unplanned pregnancy.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY

    Birthday
    Front: It's your birthday. Inside: Or was your birthday? Or is almost your birthday? When the fuck is your birthday?
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    DEFINITELY TOO OLD

    Birthday
    Front: A piece of birthday advice for you? Inside: Start lying about your age.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    OLD BROAD

    Birthday
    Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: You old broad.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    MOMMY’S VAG

    Birthday
    Front: Your birthday is a reason to celebrate. Inside: Celebrate coming out of your mom's vagina.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    DEAD BEAT

    Birthday
    Front: Happy birthday. Inside: Think you'll make it to the next one?
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    ANOTHER FUCKING DAY

    Birthday
    Front: Have a very happy birthday. Inside: Or don't. I don't fucking care.
    $5.00
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