THE EVOLUTION OF OUR OFFICE
January 26, 2026
Cards
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Hot
Quick ViewPATHETIC SICKO
Get WellFront: Wishing you a speedy recovery. Inside: It’s hard seeing you so pathetic.$5.95 -
Hot
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Hot
Quick ViewMISERABLE ASSHOLE
Get WellFront: Sorry to hear that you're sick. Inside: Is that why you’ve been such a miserable asshole?$5.95 -
Hot
Quick ViewWORTHLESS SHIT
CongratulationsFront: Congratulations. Inside: You're not a worthless piece of shit.$5.95 -
Hot
Quick ViewYOU’VE DONE BETTER
New BabyFront: Congrats on the addition to your family. Inside: Must say, this baby is not your best work.$5.95 -
Hot
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Hot
Quick ViewDO BETTER
New BabyFront: You are going to make excellent parents. Inside: Just do the opposite of whatever your parents did.$5.95 -
Hot
Quick ViewSEX CAME FIRST
New BabyFront: Congratulations on the new baby. Inside: But shame on you for engaging in premarital sex.$5.95 -
Hot
Quick ViewFUCKED UP WAY
AnniversaryFront: Happy Anniversary to us. We’re perfect together. Inside: In our own fucked up way.$5.95 -
Hot
Quick ViewMIRACLEVERSARY
AnniversaryFront: Congratulations on your anniversary. Inside: How you’ve been able to stand each other this long is a freaking miracle.$5.95 -
Quick ViewOH HAPPY DAY
BirthdayFront: Wishing you the happiest of days. Inside: If it's not a happy day, that's on you.$5.95 -
Quick ViewPARTIES SUCK
BirthdayFront: Time for your birthday party. Inside: Just so you know, I'm leaving after the cake and I didn't get a gift.$5.95 -
Quick ViewEAT EAT EAT
BirthdayFront: Today is your special day. Inside: Eat whatever the fuck you want.$5.95 -
Quick ViewBIRTHDAY BEAR DICK
BirthdayFront: Cheers to another year. Inside: Of dicking around until you die.$5.95 -
Quick ViewLOW LEVEL POSITION
Father's DayFront: You are a fantastic dad. Inside: It's a shit job, but you're great at it.$5.95 -
Quick ViewDEAD OR ALIVE
Father's DayFront: Happy Father's Day. Inside: Thanks for all the shit you did to keep me alive.$5.95 -
Quick ViewNOT YOUR SPERM
Father's DayFront: You're like a dad to me. Inside: I didn't spawn from your seed, but I know you love me.$5.95 -
Quick ViewLOW LEVEL POSITION
Mother's DayFront: You are a fantastic mom. Inside: It's a shit job, but you're great at it.$5.95 -
Quick ViewDEAD OR ALIVE
Mother's DayFront: Happy Mother's Day. Inside: Thanks for all the shit you did to keep me alive.$5.95 -
Quick ViewNOT YOUR PUSSY
Mother's DayFront: You're like a mom to me. Inside: I didn't come out of your vag, but I know you love me.$5.95 -
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Quick ViewPAPER RULES
Thank youInside: Option 4. Hand them this greeting card + a six-pack. (The six-pack could be beer or doughnuts. Or both or neither.)$5.95 -
Quick ViewGIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS
BirthdayInside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)$5.95 -
Quick View
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HotQuick View
PATHETIC SICKO
Get WellFront: Wishing you a speedy recovery. Inside: It’s hard seeing you so pathetic.$5.95 -
HotQuick View
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HotQuick View
MISERABLE ASSHOLE
Get WellFront: Sorry to hear that you're sick. Inside: Is that why you’ve been such a miserable asshole?$5.95 -
HotQuick View
WORTHLESS SHIT
CongratulationsFront: Congratulations. Inside: You're not a worthless piece of shit.$5.95 -
HotQuick View
YOU’VE DONE BETTER
New BabyFront: Congrats on the addition to your family. Inside: Must say, this baby is not your best work.$5.95 -
HotQuick View
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HotQuick View
DO BETTER
New BabyFront: You are going to make excellent parents. Inside: Just do the opposite of whatever your parents did.$5.95 -
HotQuick View
SEX CAME FIRST
New BabyFront: Congratulations on the new baby. Inside: But shame on you for engaging in premarital sex.$5.95 -
HotQuick View
FUCKED UP WAY
AnniversaryFront: Happy Anniversary to us. We’re perfect together. Inside: In our own fucked up way.$5.95 -
HotQuick View
MIRACLEVERSARY
AnniversaryFront: Congratulations on your anniversary. Inside: How you’ve been able to stand each other this long is a freaking miracle.$5.95 -
Quick View
OH HAPPY DAY
BirthdayFront: Wishing you the happiest of days. Inside: If it's not a happy day, that's on you.$5.95 -
Quick View
PARTIES SUCK
BirthdayFront: Time for your birthday party. Inside: Just so you know, I'm leaving after the cake and I didn't get a gift.$5.95 -
Quick View
EAT EAT EAT
BirthdayFront: Today is your special day. Inside: Eat whatever the fuck you want.$5.95 -
Quick View
BIRTHDAY BEAR DICK
BirthdayFront: Cheers to another year. Inside: Of dicking around until you die.$5.95 -
Quick View
LOW LEVEL POSITION
Father's DayFront: You are a fantastic dad. Inside: It's a shit job, but you're great at it.$5.95 -
Quick View
DEAD OR ALIVE
Father's DayFront: Happy Father's Day. Inside: Thanks for all the shit you did to keep me alive.$5.95 -
Quick View
NOT YOUR SPERM
Father's DayFront: You're like a dad to me. Inside: I didn't spawn from your seed, but I know you love me.$5.95 -
Quick View
LOW LEVEL POSITION
Mother's DayFront: You are a fantastic mom. Inside: It's a shit job, but you're great at it.$5.95 -
Quick View
DEAD OR ALIVE
Mother's DayFront: Happy Mother's Day. Inside: Thanks for all the shit you did to keep me alive.$5.95 -
Quick View
NOT YOUR PUSSY
Mother's DayFront: You're like a mom to me. Inside: I didn't come out of your vag, but I know you love me.$5.95 -
Quick View
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PAPER RULES
Thank youInside: Option 4. Hand them this greeting card + a six-pack. (The six-pack could be beer or doughnuts. Or both or neither.)$5.95 -
Quick View
GIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS
BirthdayInside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)$5.95 -
Quick View
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