Inside: Thing 4. They can rip your vagina apart during delivery, but you'll love that little bugger more than anything in the world. (Or they can be forcefully cut from your stomach while you're awake... either way, you'll need stitches, but you won't care cause you love them.)

Front: One word of advice? Inside: Kegels.

Front: I adore babies. Inside: But don't expect babysitting. Or diaper changes.

Front: Congrats on the new baby. Inside: It's pretty fucking cute.

Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Let's celebrate. INSIDE: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow. FRONT: It's great that you two found each other. INSIDE: Weirdos gotta stick together. FRONT: Babies are great. INSIDE: Unless you get one of the weird looking ones. FRONT: Happy birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: Another year older. INSIDE: And you're still an asshole.  

Front: Congrats on a great addition to the family. Inside: Though a dog would have been a better choice.