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New Baby

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    COVID BLANK

    Cards
    Front: We’re ready for this asshole virus to fuck off. Inside: Blank
    $5.00
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    FUCKING COVID

    Cards
    Front: Sorry we couldn’t celebrate together. Inside: Fucking Covid.
    $5.00
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    PEE PEE PANTS

    Cards
    Front: One word of advice? Inside: Kegels.
    $5.00
  • Sale!
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    IT’S A GIRL

    New Baby
    Front: It's a girl. Inside: Or is it?
    $2.00
  • Out Of Stock
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    IT’S A BOY

    New Baby
    Front: It's a boy. Inside: Or is it?
    $2.00
  • Sale!
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    OH BABY BABY

    New Baby
    Front: You're having a baby? Inside: Oh shit. Is it mine?
    $2.00
  • Sale!
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    CAN’T BUY ME LOVE

    New Baby
    Front: Congratulations. Inside: Now you finally have someone to love you.
    $2.00
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    YOU GOT KNOCKED UP

    New Baby
    Front: I heard you got knocked up. Inside: Congratulations. I guess.
    $5.00
  • Out Of Stock
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    STROLLER GIRL

    New Baby
    Front: Congratulations on your new baby. Inside: Do you know who the daddy is?
    $2.00
  • Sale!
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    STROLLER BOY

    New Baby
    Front: Congratulations on your new baby. Inside: Do you know who the daddy is?
    $2.50
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    SMALL SAVAGES

    Cards
    Front: Congratulations. Inside: Babies ruin everything.
    $5.00
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    OH BABY BABY

    Cards
    Front: I adore babies. Inside: But don't expect babysitting. Or diaper changes.
    $5.00
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    LEAKY BOOBIES

    Cards
    Front: Your baby is so cute. Inside: I'm lactating just looking at it.
    $5.00
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    BASTARD CHILD

    Cards
    Front: Congratulations. Inside: Your child is a bastard.
    $5.00
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    CUTIE PATOOTIE

    Cards
    Front: Congrats on the new baby. Inside: It's pretty fucking cute.
    $5.00
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    TOO CUTE FOR YOU

    Cards
    Front: What a beautiful baby Back: There must have been a mix-up at the hospital.
    $5.00
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    BIG BANG BABY

    Cards
    Front: How exciting. Inside: You aren't shooting blanks.
    $5.00
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    THE ESSENTIALS

    Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Let's celebrate. INSIDE: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow. FRONT: It's great that you two found each other. INSIDE: Weirdos gotta stick together. FRONT: Babies are great. INSIDE: Unless you get one of the weird looking ones. FRONT: Happy birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: Another year older. INSIDE: And you're still an asshole.  
    $25.00
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    STICKY SOCKS

    Cards
    Front: So sweet and innocent. Inside: Until all his socks start sticking together.
    $5.00
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    BABY BITCH SPICE

    Cards
    Front: Sugar and spice and everything nice. Inside: Until puberty turns her into a bitch.
    $5.00
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    PUP PUP PUPPY

    Cards
    Front: Congrats on a great addition to the family. Inside: Though a dog would have been a better choice.
    $5.00
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    BIG BABY BIGGER VAGINA

    Cards
    Front: Congrats on another beautiful baby. Inside: You must have a huge vagina.
    $5.00
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    BIG OL TITTIES

    Cards
    Front: You have a beautiful pregnant glow. Inside: And your tits are huge.
    $5.00
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    BLAME THE DINGO

    Cards
    Front: Your baby deserves the best. Inside: So hand it over to me and I'll raise it.
    $5.00

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  • Quick View

    COVID BLANK

    Cards
    Front: We’re ready for this asshole virus to fuck off. Inside: Blank
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    FUCKING COVID

    Cards
    Front: Sorry we couldn’t celebrate together. Inside: Fucking Covid.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    PEE PEE PANTS

    Cards
    Front: One word of advice? Inside: Kegels.
    $5.00
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    IT’S A GIRL

    New Baby
    Front: It's a girl. Inside: Or is it?
    $2.00
  • Out Of Stock
    Quick View

    IT’S A BOY

    New Baby
    Front: It's a boy. Inside: Or is it?
    $2.00
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    OH BABY BABY

    New Baby
    Front: You're having a baby? Inside: Oh shit. Is it mine?
    $2.00
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    CAN’T BUY ME LOVE

    New Baby
    Front: Congratulations. Inside: Now you finally have someone to love you.
    $2.00
  • Quick View

    YOU GOT KNOCKED UP

    New Baby
    Front: I heard you got knocked up. Inside: Congratulations. I guess.
    $5.00
  • Out Of Stock
    Quick View

    STROLLER GIRL

    New Baby
    Front: Congratulations on your new baby. Inside: Do you know who the daddy is?
    $2.00
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    STROLLER BOY

    New Baby
    Front: Congratulations on your new baby. Inside: Do you know who the daddy is?
    $2.50
  • Quick View

    SMALL SAVAGES

    Cards
    Front: Congratulations. Inside: Babies ruin everything.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    OH BABY BABY

    Cards
    Front: I adore babies. Inside: But don't expect babysitting. Or diaper changes.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    LEAKY BOOBIES

    Cards
    Front: Your baby is so cute. Inside: I'm lactating just looking at it.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    BASTARD CHILD

    Cards
    Front: Congratulations. Inside: Your child is a bastard.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    CUTIE PATOOTIE

    Cards
    Front: Congrats on the new baby. Inside: It's pretty fucking cute.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    TOO CUTE FOR YOU

    Cards
    Front: What a beautiful baby Back: There must have been a mix-up at the hospital.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    BIG BANG BABY

    Cards
    Front: How exciting. Inside: You aren't shooting blanks.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    THE ESSENTIALS

    Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Let's celebrate. INSIDE: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow. FRONT: It's great that you two found each other. INSIDE: Weirdos gotta stick together. FRONT: Babies are great. INSIDE: Unless you get one of the weird looking ones. FRONT: Happy birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: Another year older. INSIDE: And you're still an asshole.  
    $25.00
  • Quick View

    STICKY SOCKS

    Cards
    Front: So sweet and innocent. Inside: Until all his socks start sticking together.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    BABY BITCH SPICE

    Cards
    Front: Sugar and spice and everything nice. Inside: Until puberty turns her into a bitch.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    PUP PUP PUPPY

    Cards
    Front: Congrats on a great addition to the family. Inside: Though a dog would have been a better choice.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    BIG BABY BIGGER VAGINA

    Cards
    Front: Congrats on another beautiful baby. Inside: You must have a huge vagina.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    BIG OL TITTIES

    Cards
    Front: You have a beautiful pregnant glow. Inside: And your tits are huge.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    BLAME THE DINGO

    Cards
    Front: Your baby deserves the best. Inside: So hand it over to me and I'll raise it.
    $5.00
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