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Front: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Back: But I don’t want to put a dollar value on our relationship.
Front: We found you the perfect birthday gift. Back: It was expensive. So we didn’t buy it.
Front: What do you get for someone who has everything? Back: Nothing.
Front: Here’s a birthday card. Back: Don’t expect a gift. This is it.
Front: I’m glad we’re friends. Back: Except for when it’s your birthday and I’m expected to buy you something.
Front: This card means one thing. Back: I don’t want to spend more than five dollars on you.
Front: I had no idea what to get you for your birthday. Back: So here’s a card.
Front: No birthday gift could express my true feelings for you. Back: Except, maybe, a pile of crap.
Front: I got you the best birthday gift ever. Back: But you don’t deserve the best. So I kept it.