Front: Father-in-laws deserve cards too.
Back: Though I don’t know why. You didn’t raise me.
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Front: The love you two share is an inspiration.
Inside: It inspires me to never get married.
Front: I’m so excited that you’re having a baby.
Inside: Because I sure as hell don’t want one.
Front: I guess it’s time to baby-proof the house.
Inside: You don’t want any of those little buggers getting in.