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Greeting Cards

A CARD FOR
EVERY OCCASION

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    WASTE OF MONEY

    Wedding
    Front: Congratulations on the engagement. Inside: Skip the bullshit wedding and head to city hall.
    $5.95
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    MONEY AND SHIT

    Wedding
    Front: You're getting married. Inside: I suppose that means you want money or some shit off some dumb registry.
    $5.95
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    FIRST BORN GIVEAWAY

    Thank you
    Front: Thank you, thank you, thank you. I owe you so much. Inside: How about my first born?
    $5.95
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    CRAZY BITCHES

    Mother's Day
    Front: Moms, step moms, grandmas, mother-in-laws. Inside: Are they all crazy bitches or just you?
    $5.95
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    QUIT YOUR DAY JOB

    Mother's Day
    Front: A stay-at-home-mom is the hardest job in the world. Inside: Are you ready to quit yet?
    $5.95
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    FEED ME

    Mother's Day
    Front: You’ve always taken great care of me mom. Inside: I’m hungry, can you get me a snack?
    $5.95
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    TIME TO FUCK OFF

    Mother's Day
    Front: Mom, you did a great job raising me. Inside: But I’m an adult now, so you can back the fuck off.
    $5.95
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    BEST CHOICE EVER

    Mother's Day
    Front: Thanks mom. Inside: I’m glad you decided to keep me.
    $5.95
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    I LOVE BUMS

    Love
    Front: Our love knows no bounds. Inside: Wanna do butt stuff?
    $5.95
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    UNDERWEAR CONNECTION

    Love
    Front: I found the way to your heart. Inside: It’s in your undies.
    $5.95
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    PUSSY SMOOCH

    Love
    Front: I blew you a kiss. Catch it. Inside: With your pussy lips.
    $5.95
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    SEX SCHOOL

    Love
    Front: We’re perfect together. Inside: But we should have more sex.
    $5.95
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    DENTAL CLEANING REQUIRE

    Love
    Front: I want to show you how much I love you. Inside: But I don’t want your pubes in my teeth.
    $5.95
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    PATHETIC SICKO

    Get Well
    Front: Wishing you a speedy recovery. Inside: It’s hard seeing you so pathetic.
    $5.95
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    FUCKING LEMONS

    Get Well
    Front: Sometimes life gives you lemons. Inside: And it fucking sucks.
    $5.95
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    MISERABLE ASSHOLE

    Get Well
    Front: Sorry to hear that you're sick. Inside: Is that why you’ve been such a miserable asshole?
    $5.95
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    WORTHLESS SHIT

    Congratulations
    Front: Congratulations. Inside: You're not a worthless piece of shit.
    $5.95
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    YOU’VE DONE BETTER

    New Baby
    Front: Congrats on the addition to your family. Inside: Must say, this baby is not your best work.
    $5.95
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    JUST DON’T

    New Baby
    Front: Congratulations on the new baby. Inside: Don't fuck it up.
    $5.95
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    DO BETTER

    New Baby
    Front: You are going to make excellent parents. Inside: Just do the opposite of whatever your parents did.
    $5.95
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    SEX CAME FIRST

    New Baby
    Front: Congratulations on the new baby. Inside: But shame on you for engaging in premarital sex.
    $5.95

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