GETTING MY SHIT TOGETHER
April 8, 2024
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Quick ViewWIFE AND MOTHER
CardsFront: You are an excellent wife and an even better mother. Inside: Seriously. I could use more attention.$5.00 -
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Quick ViewCARELESS OR RECKLESS
CardsFront: You make parenting look easy. Inside: Probably because you don't give a shit.$5.00 -
Quick ViewSHIT ON MY HEAD
CardsFront: Thank you for raising me. Inside: I know I was a little shithead.$5.50 -
Quick ViewNO CASH VALUE
BirthdayFront: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Inside: But I don't want to put a dollar value on our relationship.$5.00 -
Quick ViewTOO MUCH MOOLA
BirthdayFront: We found you the perfect birthday gift. Inside: It was expensive. So we didn't buy it.$5.50 -
Quick ViewLOVE MARRIAGE BABIES
CardsFront: First comes love. Then comes marriage. Inside: Then everyone starts bugging you about having kids.$5.00 -
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Quick ViewTRAFFIC STOP
CardsFront: Have you ever wondered where Santa gets his money? Inside: It's from sex trafficking.$5.00 -
Quick ViewHAPPY WHATEVER
CardsFront: Happy Holidays. Inside: Or whatever the fuck we're supposed to say not to be offensive.$5.00 -
Quick ViewCARROT WANG
CardsFront: Frosty was at the winter carnival. Inside: He was flashing everyone his carrot wang.$5.00 -
Quick ViewMAIL ORDER BRIDE
WeddingFront: Congrats on finding the perfect bride. Inside: Did you buy her off the internet?$5.00 -
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Quick ViewCRAZY SHIT
BirthdayFront: You deserve to be celebrated. Inside: You do a lot of crazy shit... And you're still alive.$5.50 -
Quick ViewCOME CUM
BirthdayFront: Your birthday is coming... Inside: And I will make you cum on your birthday.$5.50 -
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Quick ViewWEDDING CRASHERS
SaleFront: I love going to weddings. Inside: But there's no way I'm going to yours.$1.00
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TRAFFIC STOP
CardsFront: Have you ever wondered where Santa gets his money? Inside: It's from sex trafficking.$5.00 -
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HAPPY WHATEVER
CardsFront: Happy Holidays. Inside: Or whatever the fuck we're supposed to say not to be offensive.$5.00 -
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CARROT WANG
CardsFront: Frosty was at the winter carnival. Inside: He was flashing everyone his carrot wang.$5.00 -
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MAIL ORDER BRIDE
WeddingFront: Congrats on finding the perfect bride. Inside: Did you buy her off the internet?$5.00 -
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CRAZY SHIT
BirthdayFront: You deserve to be celebrated. Inside: You do a lot of crazy shit... And you're still alive.$5.50 -
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COME CUM
BirthdayFront: Your birthday is coming... Inside: And I will make you cum on your birthday.$5.50 -
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WEDDING CRASHERS
SaleFront: I love going to weddings. Inside: But there's no way I'm going to yours.$1.00 -
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Quick ViewQUITTERS NEVER WED
SaleFront: You're taking the walk down the aisle? Inside: I thought you were going to quit on this like you do everything else.$1.00 -
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Quick ViewSHEEPISH WEDDING
SaleFront: Both of you have done a lot of wonderful things in your life. Inside: But getting married isn't one of them.$1.00 -
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Quick ViewLIKE YOU, HATE YOU
SaleFront: We've all been thinking about you. Inside: And we've decided we don't like you anymore.$1.00 -
Out Of Stock
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Quick ViewCUPID STINKS
SaleFront: Cupid is great. Inside: But I think his aim was off when he put us together.$1.00 -
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Quick ViewNO ONE LOVES TURTLES
SaleFront: It's that time of year again. Inside: Too bad no one loves you.$1.00 -
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Quick ViewTHERE’S NO CHANCE
SaleFront: I spoke with cupid last night. Inside: You're going to die alone.$1.00 -
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Quick ViewMAKE ME A SANDWICH
Mother's DayFront: You are an excellent mother and wife. Inside: Though your cooking sucks.$1.00 -
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Quick ViewMY GRAMMA IS THE BEST
Mother's DayFront: Not everyone gives their grandmas a Mother's Day card. Inside: Slip me a twenty and we'll call it even.$1.00 -
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Quick ViewBAD MOMMY
Mother's DayFront: Congratulations on your first Mother's Day. Inside: You're doing a terrible job.$1.00 -
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Quick ViewLITTLE BRAT
Mother's DayFront: Since it's your first Mother's Day I thought I'd get you a card. Inside: We both know your little brat won't get you anything.$1.00 -
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