THE EVOLUTION OF OUR OFFICE
January 26, 2026
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Quick View2026 CALENDAR
CalendarCALENDARS ARE EXCLUDED FROM OUR BUY MORE, SAVE MORE PROMOTION - Shows you all the important holidays (ya know, like Thanksgiving and Steak and a Blowjob Day) - Size is 10.5" x 9.5" - Images can be cut to fit an 8" x 8" frame so you can keep it forever - Designed, printed, and manufactured in CanadaOriginal price was: $24.00.$20.00Current price is: $20.00. -
Quick ViewOH HAPPY DAY
BirthdayFront: Wishing you the happiest of days. Inside: If it's not a happy day, that's on you.$5.95 -
Quick ViewPARTIES SUCK
BirthdayFront: Time for your birthday party. Inside: Just so you know, I'm leaving after the cake and I didn't get a gift.$5.95 -
Quick ViewEAT EAT EAT
BirthdayFront: Today is your special day. Inside: Eat whatever the fuck you want.$5.95 -
Quick ViewBIRTHDAY BEAR DICK
BirthdayFront: Cheers to another year. Inside: Of dicking around until you die.$5.95 -
Quick ViewSTICKER SHEET
StickersThis vinyl sticker sheet measures 10.2cm x 15.2cm and contains 5 stickers in various sizes. It has an easy peel backing and is waterproof (meaning you can stick it on your favourite water bottle and not worry about putting it in the dishwasher).$6.00 -
Quick ViewLOW LEVEL POSITION
Father's DayFront: You are a fantastic dad. Inside: It's a shit job, but you're great at it.$5.95 -
Quick ViewDEAD OR ALIVE
Father's DayFront: Happy Father's Day. Inside: Thanks for all the shit you did to keep me alive.$5.95 -
Quick ViewNOT YOUR SPERM
Father's DayFront: You're like a dad to me. Inside: I didn't spawn from your seed, but I know you love me.$5.95 -
Quick ViewLOW LEVEL POSITION
Mother's DayFront: You are a fantastic mom. Inside: It's a shit job, but you're great at it.$5.95 -
Quick ViewDEAD OR ALIVE
Mother's DayFront: Happy Mother's Day. Inside: Thanks for all the shit you did to keep me alive.$5.95 -
Quick ViewNOT YOUR PUSSY
Mother's DayFront: You're like a mom to me. Inside: I didn't come out of your vag, but I know you love me.$5.95 -
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Quick View
BIRTHDAY BEAR DICK
BirthdayFront: Cheers to another year. Inside: Of dicking around until you die.$5.95 -
Quick View
STICKER SHEET
StickersThis vinyl sticker sheet measures 10.2cm x 15.2cm and contains 5 stickers in various sizes. It has an easy peel backing and is waterproof (meaning you can stick it on your favourite water bottle and not worry about putting it in the dishwasher).$6.00 -
Quick View
LOW LEVEL POSITION
Father's DayFront: You are a fantastic dad. Inside: It's a shit job, but you're great at it.$5.95 -
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DEAD OR ALIVE
Father's DayFront: Happy Father's Day. Inside: Thanks for all the shit you did to keep me alive.$5.95 -
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NOT YOUR SPERM
Father's DayFront: You're like a dad to me. Inside: I didn't spawn from your seed, but I know you love me.$5.95 -
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LOW LEVEL POSITION
Mother's DayFront: You are a fantastic mom. Inside: It's a shit job, but you're great at it.$5.95 -
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DEAD OR ALIVE
Mother's DayFront: Happy Mother's Day. Inside: Thanks for all the shit you did to keep me alive.$5.95 -
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NOT YOUR PUSSY
Mother's DayFront: You're like a mom to me. Inside: I didn't come out of your vag, but I know you love me.$5.95 -
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Quick ViewPAPER RULES
Thank youInside: Option 4. Hand them this greeting card + a six-pack. (The six-pack could be beer or doughnuts. Or both or neither.)$5.95 -
Quick ViewGIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS
BirthdayInside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)$5.95 -
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Quick ViewSASSY ASSHOLE
CongratulationsInside: Reason 3. Because the word congratulations is so long that people hate writing it out themselves + they'd much rather just buy a card that spells it out for them.$5.95 -
Quick ViewFUCKING BIRTHDAY CARDS
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. It likely means that I was invited to a celebration of some sort. (That means being around people.)$5.95 -
Quick ViewGETTING OLDER
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. This is total bullshit. Getting older sucks. (Your body aches, your knees make noises + you sag a little more + more with each passing year.)$5.95 -
Quick ViewSNAIL MAIL IS THE BEST
BirthdayInside: 3. Go out of your way to purchase them a birthday card in advance. Write a message, sign your name and mail or hand deliver the card to the birthday person. (Yes, this piece of paper that you spent money on will end up getting tossed, but the birthday person will know that, without a doubt, you are better than the folks that only did #1 or #2.)$5.95 -
Quick ViewTOO MUCH LOVE
ChristmasFront: Time to buy gifts for everyone we love. Inside: Fuck. We love too many people.$5.95 -
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Quick ViewHOLIDAY HOLIDAY
ChristmasInside: Tip 3. Send out passive aggressive cards "joking" about how you hate the holidays. (Is it a joke? Or not? Best just keep to yourself.)$5.95 -
Quick ViewCREDIT THEFT
ChristmasInside: You get to run around like crazy making sure the day is special for your family, but with zero credit because of "Santa." (Don't forget to buy a special role of "Santa" wrapping paper.)$5.95 -
Quick ViewTREE TRIMMING TIME
ChristmasFront: Time to trim the tree. Inside: And some people outta my life.$5.95 -
Quick ViewBIG ONE
BirthdayInside: Reason 4. You're getting pretty old, so you should celebrate while you still can. (Did you know that statistically you are 14% more likely to die on your birthday than any other day? Try not to party that hard.)$5.95 -
Quick ViewCAKE MAKES IT BETTER
BirthdayInside: Step 3. That's it... The cake will make you happy. (You make also experience feelings of guilt + disgust.)$5.95 -
Quick ViewANTI SOCIAL TIME
BirthdayInside: Follow this advice and you'll have a happy birthday. (All thanks to the genius greeting card writer that wrote this card and the brilliant person that chose it.)$5.95
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