THE EVOLUTION OF OUR OFFICE
January 26, 2026
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Quick ViewONLY ME
ChristmasFront: We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. Inside: Well, I do. The rest of my family doesn't give a crap.$5.95 -
Quick ViewWHAM BAM
ChristmasFront: Last Christmas I gave you my heart. Inside: Wait, did I say heart? I meant herpes.$5.95 -
Quick ViewBETTER LATE THAN NEVER
Belated BirthdayFront: I promise I didn't forget your birthday. Inside: I just forgot to buy a card on time.$5.95 -
Quick ViewSOCIAL MEDIA WIN
Belated BirthdayFront: I know your birthday was the other day... Inside: I just needed social media to remind me.$5.95 -
Quick ViewPICKY NOSE PICKER
BirthdayFront: Gift cards are the perfect gift. Inside: For people that are too damn picky.$5.95 -
Quick ViewFUCKING BIRTHDAY
BirthdayFront: Heard that you're celebrating a big day. Inside: Happy fucking birthday.$5.95 -
Quick ViewDAY DRINK DAY DRUNK
BirthdayFront: Got big birthday plans? Inside: Or another night of drinking alone?$5.95 -
Quick ViewNETFLIX, CARD, AND CHILL
BirthdayFront: You deserve a huge birthday celebration. Inside: But I'm just giving you a card and buying take-out.$5.95 -
Quick ViewSILVER SHORT CURLY
BirthdayFront: Getting older isn't so bad. Inside: Until the first grey pubic hair arrives.$5.95 -
Quick ViewBEST GIFT OF ALL
BirthdayFront: Happy birthday to my dearest love. Inside: Instead of a gift can I just go down on you?$5.95 -
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Quick ViewTOO OLD FOR THAT SHIT
BirthdayFront: Birthdays are a time to party. Inside: Too bad we're too old for that shit.$5.95 -
Quick ViewOUT AND PROUD
CongratulationsFront: Congratulations on coming out. Inside: I'm fucking proud of you.$5.95 -
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Quick ViewUNDERWEAR DON’T CARE
FriendshipFront: You're the best. Inside: No matter what's in those undies.$5.95 -
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Quick ViewMR. AND MR. ASSHOLE
LGBTQFront: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs. Inside: You two bitches deserve each other.$5.50 -
Quick ViewMRS. AND MRS. BITCH
LGBTQFront: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs. Inside: You two bitches deserve each other.$5.50 -
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Quick ViewGET YOUR FAT ASS OVER HERE
ChristmasFront: The stockings are hung by the mantel with care. Inside: Now we're just waiting for Santa's fat ass.$5.95
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Quick ViewHIPPIE DIPPIE BOLOGNA
ChristmasFront: Have you picked out your Christmas tree? Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies?$5.95 -
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Quick ViewSANTA’S FAVE STRIP JOINT
ChristmasFront: I met Prancer and Vixen. Inside: They work at a strip joint downtown.$5.95 -
Quick ViewEXPECT THE BEST
ChristmasFront: This Christmas will be great. Inside: As long as you buy me something fucking amazing.$5.95 -
Quick ViewCANCEL THIS SHIT
ChristmasFront: Did you hear the news? Inside: Santa died. Christmas is cancelled.$5.95 -
Quick ViewBIG STUPID HEAD
ChristmasFront: Have you ever wondered why Rudolph has a red nose? Inside: It's just a huge zit.$5.95 -
Quick ViewCHRISTMAS CHEER
ChristmasFront: Sending you some Christmas cheer. Inside: From a safe fucking distance.$5.00 -
Quick ViewYOU’RE TOO MUCH
ChristmasFront: It's too bad we can't spend the holidays together. Inside: Just kidding. We needed a year off.$5.95 -
Quick ViewSNIP SNIP TIME
Father's DayFront: You are a great husband and father. Inside: But it's time for the snip-snip$5.95 -
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Quick ViewALL ABOUT YOU DAD
Father's DayFront: Today is all about you dad. Inside: You self-entitled jerk.$5.00 -
Quick ViewWIFE AND MOTHER
CardsFront: You are an excellent wife and an even better mother. Inside: Seriously. I could use more attention.$5.00 -
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Quick ViewCARELESS OR RECKLESS
ParentingFront: You make parenting look easy. Inside: Probably because you don't give a shit.$5.00 -
Quick ViewSHIT ON MY HEAD
ParentingFront: Thank you for raising me. Inside: I know I was a little shithead.$5.95 -
Quick ViewNO CASH VALUE
BirthdayFront: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Inside: But I don't want to put a dollar value on our relationship.$5.95 -
Quick ViewTOO MUCH MOOLA
BirthdayFront: We found you the perfect birthday gift. Inside: It was expensive. So we didn't buy it.$5.95 -
Quick ViewLOVE MARRIAGE BABIES
CardsFront: First comes love. Then comes marriage. Inside: Then everyone starts bugging you about having kids.$5.00 -
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Quick ViewMRS. BITCH CLAUS
ChristmasFront: Santa Claus is great. Inside: But Mrs. Claus is a real bitch.$5.95 -
Quick ViewTRAFFIC STOP
ChristmasFront: Have you ever wondered where Santa gets his money? Inside: It's from sex trafficking.$5.00
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