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Greeting Cards

A CARD FOR
EVERY OCCASION

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    HIPPIE DIPPIE BOLOGNA

    Christmas
    Front: Have you picked out your Christmas tree? Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies?
    $5.95
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    FLY RUDOLPH FLY

    Christmas
    Front: I know how Santa gets his reindeer to fly. Inside: Edibles.
    $5.95
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    SANTA’S FAVE STRIP JOINT

    Christmas
    Front: I met Prancer and Vixen. Inside: They work at a strip joint downtown.
    $5.95
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    EXPECT THE BEST

    Christmas
    Front: This Christmas will be great. Inside: As long as you buy me something fucking amazing.
    $5.95
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    CANCEL THIS SHIT

    Christmas
    Front: Did you hear the news? Inside: Santa died.  Christmas is cancelled.
    $5.95
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    BIG STUPID HEAD

    Christmas
    Front: Have you ever wondered why Rudolph has a red nose? Inside: It's just a huge zit.
    $5.95
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    CHRISTMAS CHEER

    Christmas
    Front: Sending you some Christmas cheer. Inside: From a safe fucking distance.
    $5.00
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    YOU’RE TOO MUCH

    Christmas
    Front: It's too bad we can't spend the holidays together. Inside: Just kidding. We needed a year off.
    $5.95
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    SNIP SNIP TIME

    Father's Day
    Front: You are a great husband and father. Inside: But it's time for the snip-snip
    $5.95
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    LEAST FAVE

    Father's Day
    Front: Happy Father's Day. Inside: From your least favourite child.
    $5.95
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    ALL ABOUT YOU DAD

    Father's Day
    Front: Today is all about you dad. Inside: You self-entitled jerk.
    $5.00
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    WIFE AND MOTHER

    Cards
    Front: You are an excellent wife and an even better mother. Inside: Seriously.  I could use more attention.
    $5.00
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    LEAST FAVE

    Mother's Day
    Front: Happy Mother's Day. Inside: From your least favourite child.
    $5.95
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    ALL ABOUT YOU MOM

    Cards
    Front: Today is all about you mom. Inside: You self-entitled witch.
    $5.00
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    CARELESS OR RECKLESS

    Parenting
    Front: You make parenting look easy. Inside: Probably because you don't give a shit.
    $5.00
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    SHIT ON MY HEAD

    Parenting
    Front: Thank you for raising me. Inside: I know I was a little shithead.
    $5.95
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    NO CASH VALUE

    Birthday
    Front: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Inside: But I don't want to put a dollar value on our relationship.
    $5.95
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    TOO MUCH MOOLA

    Birthday
    Front: We found you the perfect birthday gift. Inside: It was expensive. So we didn't buy it.
    $5.95
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    LOVE MARRIAGE BABIES

    Cards
    Front: First comes love.  Then comes marriage. Inside: Then everyone starts bugging you about having kids.
    $5.00
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    PEE PEE PANTS

    New Baby
    Front: One word of advice? Inside: Kegels.
    $5.95
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    SIN SIN SINFUL

    Cards
    Front: Congratulations. Inside: You're no longer living in sin.
    $5.50

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    HAPPY WHATEVER

    Christmas
    Front: Happy Holidays. Inside: Or whatever the fuck we're supposed to say not to be offensive.
    $5.95
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    CARROT WANG

    Christmas
    Front: Frosty was at the winter carnival. Inside: He was flashing everyone his carrot wang.
    $5.95
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    MAIL ORDER BRIDE

    Wedding
    Front: Congrats on finding the perfect bride. Inside: Did you buy her off the internet?
    $5.00
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    OPEN IT UP

    Wedding
    Front: Congratulations on your engagement. Inside: Will it be an open bar?
    $5.00
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    CRAZY SHIT

    Birthday
    Front: You deserve to be celebrated. Inside: You do a lot of crazy shit... And you're still alive.
    $5.95
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    COME CUM

    Birthday
    Front: Your birthday is coming... Inside: And I will make you cum on your birthday.
    $5.95
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    YOU SUCK TOGETHER

    Sale
    Front: Enjoy your wedding day. Inside: Because I won't.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
  • Sale!
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    QUITTERS NEVER WED

    Sale
    Front: You're taking the walk down the aisle? Inside: I thought you were going to quit on this like you do everything else.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
  • Sale!
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    SHEEPISH WEDDING

    Sale
    Front: Both of you have done a lot of wonderful things in your life. Inside: But getting married isn't one of them.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
  • Sale!
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    LIKE YOU, HATE YOU

    Sale
    Front: We've all been thinking about you. Inside: And we've decided we don't like you anymore.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
  • Sale!
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    ASKING FOR TROUBLE

    Sale
    Front: I'm really sorry. Inside: But you asked for it.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    CUPID STINKS

    Sale
    Front: Cupid is great. Inside: But I think his aim was off when he put us together.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    NO ONE LOVES TURTLES

    Sale
    Front: It's that time of year again. Inside: Too bad no one loves you.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    THERE’S NO CHANCE

    Sale
    Front: I spoke with cupid last night. Inside: You're going to die alone.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    LOVE SUCKS

    Sale
    Front: I love Valentine's Day. Inside: I just don't love you.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
  • Sale!
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    MAKE ME A SANDWICH

    Mother's Day
    Front: You are an excellent mother and wife. Inside: Though your cooking sucks.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    MY GRAMMA IS THE BEST

    Mother's Day
    Front: Not everyone gives their grandmas a Mother's Day card. Inside: Slip me a twenty and we'll call it even.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    BAD MOMMY

    Mother's Day
    Front: Congratulations on your first Mother's Day. Inside: You're doing a terrible job.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    NEVER REGRET

    Mother's Day
    Front: It's your first Mother's Day. Inside: Regretting it yet?
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    LITTLE BRAT

    Mother's Day
    Front: Since it's your first Mother's Day I thought I'd get you a card. Inside: We both know your little brat won't get you anything.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    DADDY ISSUES

    Mother's Day
    Front: I love you mom. Inside: But where's my daddy?
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    GIMME YOUR MONEY

    New Job
    Front: You got the job. Inside: Now you can pay me back.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
  • Sale!
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    YOU SUCK BALLS

    New Job
    Front: What a great new job. Inside: You'll be fired in no time.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    I SECRETLY HATE YOU

    New Job
    Front: You really deserved that promotion. Inside: But I deserved it more.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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