Cards
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THAT FUCKER BE TOUGH
CardsFront: You'll get through this. Inside: You're a tough motherfucker.$5.50 -
FOXY CHRISTMAS
CardsFront: Christmas is all about friends and family. Inside: It's too bad that you don't have either.$5.00 -
NOT AN AGELESS BEAUTY
BirthdayFront: You haven't aged a day since we met. Inside: But you looked old back then.$5.00 -
CARD CARD GIFT CARD
BirthdayFront: Want your birthday gift? Inside: Here's a gift card. Go get it.$5.50 -
NATALIE LIKES OWLS
BirthdayFront: You're a real hoot. Inside: Oops, I mean ho. You're a real ho.$5.50 -
TOO CUTE FOR YOU
CardsFront: What a beautiful baby Back: There must have been a mix-up at the hospital.$5.00 -
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THANK YOU
Box SetsThis box set contains 6 cards (one of each below) and 6 plain white envelopes. FRONT: Thanks. You're the best. INSIDE: Well, second best. FRONT: Thank You. INSIDE: There. I said it. FRONT: People just don't send thank you cards like they used to. INSIDE: Fucking jerks. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Thank you for the gift. INSIDE: Is it returnable? FRONT: You deserve a huge thank-you hug. INSIDE: The creepy kind that lingers.$25.00 -
FUCKING BIRTHDAYS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Happy Birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. FRONT: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. INSIDE: Shut the fuck up. FRONT: You only live once. INSIDE: Too bad you already fucked up. FRONT: May all your birthday wishes come true. INSIDE: Except for that one. You fucking pervert. FRONT: Have a very happy birthday. INSIDE: Or don't. I don't fucking care.$25.00 -
THE ESSENTIALS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Let's celebrate. INSIDE: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow. FRONT: It's great that you two found each other. INSIDE: Weirdos gotta stick together. FRONT: Babies are great. INSIDE: Unless you get one of the weird looking ones. FRONT: Happy birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: Another year older. INSIDE: And you're still an asshole.$25.00 -
BEST OF BIRTHDAYS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: So go fuck yourself. FRONT: Make a wish and blow out your candles. INSIDE: Then blow yourself. Cocksucker. FRONT: I heard it's your birthday. INSIDE: I also heard I don't give a shit. FRONT: You always throw the best birthday parties. INSIDE: Is it to make up for your small penis? FRONT: Have a happy birthday. INSIDE: Or rot in hell you old bastard. FRONT: You know who loves birthday parties? INSIDE: Little sissies.$25.00 -
SANTA SATAN
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: We went to see Santa. INSIDE: He smelled like a dead hobo. FRONT: It's Christmas. INSIDE: Too bad Santa hates you. FRONT: Do you believe in Santa? INSIDE: Get your head out your ass. He's not real. FRONT: Every Christmas Santa eats our cookies and drinks our milk. INSIDE: Then he takes a huge dump in our bathroom. FRONT: Hopefully Santa doesn't forget my house. INSIDE: I want to ride that jolly son-of-a-bitch all night. FRONT: I waited up all night to see Santa. INSIDE: He was wasted and there was a hooker in his sleigh.$25.00 -
BEST OF CHRISTMAS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. INSIDE: He must be stalking you. FRONT: Grandmas got ran over by a reindeer again. INSIDE: That bitch had it coming. FRONT: You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen? INSIDE: They're assholes. FRONT: 'Tis the season. INSIDE: To get chubby. FRONT: Have a holly, jolly Christmas. INSIDE: By getting druuuuunk. FRONT: We went to see Santa. INSIDE: He smelled like a dead hobo.$25.00 -
FUCKING XMAS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: It's Christmas. INSIDE: But who the fuck cares? FRONT: Every Christmas I send you a card in the mail. INSIDE: And this year is no fucking different. FRONT: Santa asked me what you wanted for Christmas. INSIDE: I told him to fuck off. FRONT: It's Christmas time. INSIDE: Fuck you and fuck your family. FRONT: I love elves. INSIDE: Those little fuckers know how to party. FRONT: Have yourself a merry little Christmas. INSIDE: And a happy fucking New Year.$25.00 -
XXX RATED
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Mr. and Mrs. Claus are perfect together. INSIDE: She let's him do it up the ass. FRONT: Rudolph is the best. INSIDE: He has a really big dick. FRONT: I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. INSIDE: I always knew she was a whore. FRONT: I love Santa. INSIDE: He makes my panties wet. FRONT: Let's go to the North Pole. INSIDE: I hear the orgies are insane. FRONT: I sat on Santa's lap. INSIDE: It gave him a boner.$25.00 -
CHRISTMAS FAVOURITES
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: I heard you're on Santa's naughty list. INSIDE: Slut. FRONT: I saw Santa last night. INSIDE: He was banging your mom. FRONT: There's only one thing I want for Christmas. INSIDE: You. Naked. FRONT: I love elves. INSIDE: Those little fuckers know how to party. FRONT: It's true what they say about Christmas. INSIDE: It's fucking awesome. FRONT: It's that time of year again. INSIDE: Fuck.$25.00 -
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CURLY HAIRED FUCKER
CardsFront: I always knew you two would get married. Back: But that doesn't mean I approve.$5.00$1.00 -
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COUPLE OF LOSERS
CardsFront: You're the type of couple that will be together forever. Back: Yeah right. You don't stand a chance.$5.00 -
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THAT FUCKER BE TOUGH
CardsFront: You'll get through this. Inside: You're a tough motherfucker.$5.50 -
FOXY CHRISTMAS
CardsFront: Christmas is all about friends and family. Inside: It's too bad that you don't have either.$5.00 -
NOT AN AGELESS BEAUTY
BirthdayFront: You haven't aged a day since we met. Inside: But you looked old back then.$5.00 -
CARD CARD GIFT CARD
BirthdayFront: Want your birthday gift? Inside: Here's a gift card. Go get it.$5.50 -
NATALIE LIKES OWLS
BirthdayFront: You're a real hoot. Inside: Oops, I mean ho. You're a real ho.$5.50 -
TOO CUTE FOR YOU
CardsFront: What a beautiful baby Back: There must have been a mix-up at the hospital.$5.00 -
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THANK YOU
Box SetsThis box set contains 6 cards (one of each below) and 6 plain white envelopes. FRONT: Thanks. You're the best. INSIDE: Well, second best. FRONT: Thank You. INSIDE: There. I said it. FRONT: People just don't send thank you cards like they used to. INSIDE: Fucking jerks. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Thank you for the gift. INSIDE: Is it returnable? FRONT: You deserve a huge thank-you hug. INSIDE: The creepy kind that lingers.$25.00 -
FUCKING BIRTHDAYS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Happy Birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. FRONT: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. INSIDE: Shut the fuck up. FRONT: You only live once. INSIDE: Too bad you already fucked up. FRONT: May all your birthday wishes come true. INSIDE: Except for that one. You fucking pervert. FRONT: Have a very happy birthday. INSIDE: Or don't. I don't fucking care.$25.00 -
THE ESSENTIALS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Let's celebrate. INSIDE: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow. FRONT: It's great that you two found each other. INSIDE: Weirdos gotta stick together. FRONT: Babies are great. INSIDE: Unless you get one of the weird looking ones. FRONT: Happy birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: Another year older. INSIDE: And you're still an asshole.$25.00 -
BEST OF BIRTHDAYS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: So go fuck yourself. FRONT: Make a wish and blow out your candles. INSIDE: Then blow yourself. Cocksucker. FRONT: I heard it's your birthday. INSIDE: I also heard I don't give a shit. FRONT: You always throw the best birthday parties. INSIDE: Is it to make up for your small penis? FRONT: Have a happy birthday. INSIDE: Or rot in hell you old bastard. FRONT: You know who loves birthday parties? INSIDE: Little sissies.$25.00 -
SANTA SATAN
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: We went to see Santa. INSIDE: He smelled like a dead hobo. FRONT: It's Christmas. INSIDE: Too bad Santa hates you. FRONT: Do you believe in Santa? INSIDE: Get your head out your ass. He's not real. FRONT: Every Christmas Santa eats our cookies and drinks our milk. INSIDE: Then he takes a huge dump in our bathroom. FRONT: Hopefully Santa doesn't forget my house. INSIDE: I want to ride that jolly son-of-a-bitch all night. FRONT: I waited up all night to see Santa. INSIDE: He was wasted and there was a hooker in his sleigh.$25.00 -
BEST OF CHRISTMAS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. INSIDE: He must be stalking you. FRONT: Grandmas got ran over by a reindeer again. INSIDE: That bitch had it coming. FRONT: You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen? INSIDE: They're assholes. FRONT: 'Tis the season. INSIDE: To get chubby. FRONT: Have a holly, jolly Christmas. INSIDE: By getting druuuuunk. FRONT: We went to see Santa. INSIDE: He smelled like a dead hobo.$25.00 -
FUCKING XMAS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: It's Christmas. INSIDE: But who the fuck cares? FRONT: Every Christmas I send you a card in the mail. INSIDE: And this year is no fucking different. FRONT: Santa asked me what you wanted for Christmas. INSIDE: I told him to fuck off. FRONT: It's Christmas time. INSIDE: Fuck you and fuck your family. FRONT: I love elves. INSIDE: Those little fuckers know how to party. FRONT: Have yourself a merry little Christmas. INSIDE: And a happy fucking New Year.$25.00 -
XXX RATED
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Mr. and Mrs. Claus are perfect together. INSIDE: She let's him do it up the ass. FRONT: Rudolph is the best. INSIDE: He has a really big dick. FRONT: I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. INSIDE: I always knew she was a whore. FRONT: I love Santa. INSIDE: He makes my panties wet. FRONT: Let's go to the North Pole. INSIDE: I hear the orgies are insane. FRONT: I sat on Santa's lap. INSIDE: It gave him a boner.$25.00 -
CHRISTMAS FAVOURITES
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: I heard you're on Santa's naughty list. INSIDE: Slut. FRONT: I saw Santa last night. INSIDE: He was banging your mom. FRONT: There's only one thing I want for Christmas. INSIDE: You. Naked. FRONT: I love elves. INSIDE: Those little fuckers know how to party. FRONT: It's true what they say about Christmas. INSIDE: It's fucking awesome. FRONT: It's that time of year again. INSIDE: Fuck.$25.00 -
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CURLY HAIRED FUCKER
CardsFront: I always knew you two would get married. Back: But that doesn't mean I approve.$5.00$1.00 -
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COUPLE OF LOSERS
CardsFront: You're the type of couple that will be together forever. Back: Yeah right. You don't stand a chance.$5.00 -
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