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Penguin

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    SNAIL MAIL IS THE BEST

    Birthday
    Inside: 3. Go out of your way to purchase them a birthday card in advance. Write a message, sign your name and mail or hand deliver the card to the birthday person. (Yes, this piece of paper that you spent money on will end up getting tossed, but the birthday person will know that, without a doubt, you are better than the folks that only did #1 or #2.)
    $5.50
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    Hey Numbnuts Sticker

    Stickers
    This vinyl sticker measures approximately 7cm x 6.7cm.  It has an easy peel backing and is waterproof (meaning you can stick it on your favourite water bottle and not worry about putting it in the dishwasher).
    $4.00
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    THE BIG O

    Cards
    Front: All I want for Christmas is you. Inside: And a really big orgasm.
    $5.50
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    HIPPIE DIPPIE BOLOGNA

    Cards
    Front: Have you picked out your Christmas tree? Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies?
    $5.50
  • Sale!
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    COVID BLANK

    Cards
    Front: We’re ready for this asshole virus to fuck off. Inside: Blank
    $1.00
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    ALL ABOUT YOU DAD

    Cards
    Front: Today is all about you dad. Inside: You self-entitled jerk.
    $5.00
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    ALL ABOUT YOU MOM

    Cards
    Front: Today is all about you mom. Inside: You self-entitled witch.
    $5.00
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    MALLS WILL BLEED YOU DRY

    Cards
    Front: Time to go shopping. Inside: This fucking sucks.
    $5.00
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    NOT AN AGELESS BEAUTY

    Birthday
    Front: You haven't aged a day since we met. Inside: But you looked old back then.
    $5.00
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    BIG BANG BABY

    Cards
    Front: How exciting. Inside: You aren't shooting blanks.
    $5.00
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    NUMBNUTS

    Everyday Magnets
    Numbnuts.
    $3.00
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    PLAYING FAVOURITES

    Cards
    Front: Happy Mother's Day. Inside: Admit it. I'm your favourite.
    $5.00
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    LEFT OR RIGHT

    Cards
    Front: We're so lucky we found each other. Inside: I almost swiped left.
    $5.00
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    INDEPENDENT PENGUIN

    Cards
    Front: Congrats on your new place. Back: Are you sure you can afford it?
    $5.00
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    SUCK MY BLUE BALLS

    Cards
    Front: Good luck. You can do it. Back: If not, you suck.
    $5.00
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    PLAYING FAVOURITES

    Cards
    Front: Happy Father's Day. Back: Admit it. I'm your favourite.
    $5.00
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    BITCH PARTY

    Cards
    Front: It's party time. Back: Where my bitches at?
    $5.00
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    I’M BETTER THAN YOU

    Cards
    Front: Congrats. Back: You think you're better than me?
    $5.00
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    FUCK FEST

    Cards
    Front: Let's go to the north pole. Back: I hear the orgies are insane.
    $5.00
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    HO HO HO

    Cards
    Front: I waited up all night to see Santa. Back: He was wasted and there was a hooker in his sleigh.
    $5.00
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    DIRTY DREAMS

    Birthday
    Front: May all your birthday wishes come true. Inside: You fucking pervert.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    SMALL PENIS

    Birthday
    Front: You always throw the best birthday parties. Inside: Is it to make up for your small penis?
    $5.00
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    TILL DEATH DO US PART

    Anniversary
    Front: Our love is forever. Inside: But if you die first, I will move on.
    $5.00

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  • Quick View

    SNAIL MAIL IS THE BEST

    Birthday
    Inside: 3. Go out of your way to purchase them a birthday card in advance. Write a message, sign your name and mail or hand deliver the card to the birthday person. (Yes, this piece of paper that you spent money on will end up getting tossed, but the birthday person will know that, without a doubt, you are better than the folks that only did #1 or #2.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    Hey Numbnuts Sticker

    Stickers
    This vinyl sticker measures approximately 7cm x 6.7cm.  It has an easy peel backing and is waterproof (meaning you can stick it on your favourite water bottle and not worry about putting it in the dishwasher).
    $4.00
  • Quick View

    THE BIG O

    Cards
    Front: All I want for Christmas is you. Inside: And a really big orgasm.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    HIPPIE DIPPIE BOLOGNA

    Cards
    Front: Have you picked out your Christmas tree? Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies?
    $5.50
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    COVID BLANK

    Cards
    Front: We’re ready for this asshole virus to fuck off. Inside: Blank
    $1.00
  • Quick View

    ALL ABOUT YOU DAD

    Cards
    Front: Today is all about you dad. Inside: You self-entitled jerk.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    ALL ABOUT YOU MOM

    Cards
    Front: Today is all about you mom. Inside: You self-entitled witch.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    MALLS WILL BLEED YOU DRY

    Cards
    Front: Time to go shopping. Inside: This fucking sucks.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    NOT AN AGELESS BEAUTY

    Birthday
    Front: You haven't aged a day since we met. Inside: But you looked old back then.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    BIG BANG BABY

    Cards
    Front: How exciting. Inside: You aren't shooting blanks.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    NUMBNUTS

    Everyday Magnets
    Numbnuts.
    $3.00
  • Quick View

    PLAYING FAVOURITES

    Cards
    Front: Happy Mother's Day. Inside: Admit it. I'm your favourite.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    LEFT OR RIGHT

    Cards
    Front: We're so lucky we found each other. Inside: I almost swiped left.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    INDEPENDENT PENGUIN

    Cards
    Front: Congrats on your new place. Back: Are you sure you can afford it?
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    SUCK MY BLUE BALLS

    Cards
    Front: Good luck. You can do it. Back: If not, you suck.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    PLAYING FAVOURITES

    Cards
    Front: Happy Father's Day. Back: Admit it. I'm your favourite.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    BITCH PARTY

    Cards
    Front: It's party time. Back: Where my bitches at?
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    I’M BETTER THAN YOU

    Cards
    Front: Congrats. Back: You think you're better than me?
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    FUCK FEST

    Cards
    Front: Let's go to the north pole. Back: I hear the orgies are insane.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    HO HO HO

    Cards
    Front: I waited up all night to see Santa. Back: He was wasted and there was a hooker in his sleigh.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    DIRTY DREAMS

    Birthday
    Front: May all your birthday wishes come true. Inside: You fucking pervert.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    SMALL PENIS

    Birthday
    Front: You always throw the best birthday parties. Inside: Is it to make up for your small penis?
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    TILL DEATH DO US PART

    Anniversary
    Front: Our love is forever. Inside: But if you die first, I will move on.
    $5.00
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