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THIS CARD IS MEAN
CardsFront: I just want to say congratulations. Back: You didn't fuck up for once.$5.00 -
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MISTAKE MAKER
CardsFront: Congratulations. Back: You're making the biggest mistake of your life.$5.00 -
LOST ART FART
CardsFront: Sending Christmas cards is almost a lost art. Inside: So you're an asshole if you don't return one.$5.00 -
BAD CREDIT SCORE
CardsFront: The holiday season is the best. Back: Until the credit card statement arrives.$5.00 -
HOLIDAY CARD
CardsFront: It's the most wonderful time of year. Back: Though writing in all the cards is a pain in the ass.$5.00 -
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HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR
CardsFront: Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Back: And a happy fucking New Year.$5.00 -
BANG BANG BANG
CardsFront: Let's trim the tree and put up the stockings. Back: And then bang until the New Year.$5.00 -
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WORKING WITH ASSHOLES
CardsFront: You know Dasher and Dancer? Prancer and Vixen? Back: They're assholes.$5.00 -
SAVED BY THE BELL
CardsFront: Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? Back: Wait. Nevermind. That's just my phone.$5.00 -
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ANOTHER FUCKING DAY
BirthdayFront: Have a very happy birthday. Inside: Or don't. I don't fucking care.$5.50 -
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OLD AND UGLY
BirthdayFront: Getting old is hard. Inside: Especially when you start looking like shit.$5.00 -
DIRTY DREAMS
BirthdayFront: May all your birthday wishes come true. Inside: You fucking pervert.$5.00 -
NOW YOU HAVE NOTHING
BirthdayFront: What do you get for someone who has everything? Inside: Nothing.$5.50 -
WHORES R US
BirthdayFront: We found you an amazing birthday gift. Inside: But somehow a two-dollar whole didn't seem appropriate.$5.00 -
WE’RE ALL CHEAPSKATES
BirthdayFront: We decided to all chip in for your birthday. Inside: This card is pretty great, huh?$5.50 -
SKUNKS LIKE IT DIRTY
BirthdayFront: This year your birthday is extra special. Inside: So go get laid.$5.00 -
SUGAR TITS
BirthdayFront: For your birthday how about a nice dinner and some dancing? Inside: You're paying.$5.00 -
FUCK FRIENDS
BirthdayFront: I always remember to give you a card for your birthday. Inside: You don't have many friends, so it's the least I can do.$5.50 -
BEER BOOBS BABES
BirthdayFront: Kids have the best birthday parties. Inside: But they never remember the beer.$5.00 -
SOMETHING BETTER
BirthdayFront: Let's celebrate your special day. Inside: Actually, nevermind. I have something better to do.$5.00 -
OLD TIMERS
BirthdayFront: I can't believe it's already your birthday. Inside: You're getting really old really fast.$5.50 -
SMALL PENIS
BirthdayFront: You always throw the best birthday parties. Inside: Is it to make up for your small penis?$5.00 -
DIE BITCH DIE
BirthdayFront: Happy Birthday. Inside: I hope you choke on your cake and die.$5.00$1.00 -
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WISH BITCH
BirthdayFront: Remember to make a wish before you blow out your candles. Inside: Maybe ask for a new face. Yours is looking a little rough.$5.00 -
BIRTHDAYS ARE OVERRATED
BirthdayFront: It's your birthday, huh? Inside: Well you can suck my ass. I don't give a damn.$5.00 -
HIPPOS HATE BIRTHDAYS
BirthdayFront: Time for another birthday. Inside: Goddamn I hate these things.$5.00 -
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OLD MAN MOUSTACHE
BirthdayFront: It's your birthday. Inside: Damn. You're a lot older than I thought.$5.00 -
BIG HEAD BIGGER EGO
BirthdayFront: This birthday is a big one. Inside: So don't go dying on us.$5.00 -
SHIT SISTER
BirthdayFront: I heard it's your birthday. Inside: I also heard I don't give a shit.$5.00
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