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SEND A HUG AND KISS CARD
CardsFront: Every Christmas I send you a card in the mail. Back: And this year is no fucking different.$5.00 -
DON’T BUY ME SOCKS
CardsFront: I'm glad Christmas only comes once a year. Back: It's hard pretending to like your shitty gifts.$5.00 -
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SANTA IS A SISSY
CardsFront: Santa was at the mall the other day. Back: I punched him in the face.$5.00 -
DON’T PISS OFF MR. CLAUS
CardsFront: I made my list. I checked it twice. Back: And you still piss me off.$5.00 -
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JUST A CARD
CardsFront: This card is my way to say Merry Christmas. Inside: It also says I don't like you enough to buy you a real gift.$5.00 -
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MONEY FOR NOTHING
CardsFront: Happy holidays. Inside: Well, they'd be happy if you gave me some money.$5.00 -
YOUR STOCKING STINKS
CardsFront: I know what Santa is putting in your stocking. Back: A lump of shit.$5.00 -
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CUM ONE CUM ALL
Break UpFront: It was good while it lasted. Inside: But you always came too early.$5.00 -
TOLD YA SO
Break UpFront: I'm sorry to hear about the divorce. Inside: But I gotta say, I told you so.$5.00$1.00 -
FISH STICKS FISH DICKS
Break UpFront: There are plenty of fish in the sea. Inside: But do you really think you can do better?$5.00$1.00 -
KIDS AREN’T ALRIGHT
Break UpFront: So sorry about the divorce. Inside: It was because of the kids, right?$5.00 -
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YEAH, I’M HORNY
BirthdayFront: Happy Birthday. Inside: For the record, I'm only giving you this cuz it improves my chances of getting laid.$5.50 -
I JUST DON’T CARE
BirthdayFront: Everyone keeps telling me it's your birthday. Inside: Like I'm supposed to care or something.$5.00 -
FRIENDLESS LOSER
BirthdayFront: I started to plan a big party for your birthday. Inside: But there was no one to invite since you have no friends.$5.00 -
ENOUGH ALREADY
BirthdayFront: Every year on this day, we celebrate your birth. Inside: And I'm getting sick of it.$5.00 -
BALD PATCHES ARE FUNNY
BirthdayFront: Another year older and you look great. Inside: Except for that bald patch.$5.00 -
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PUDGY WUDGY
BirthdayFront: It's your birthday, which means you should spoil yourself. Inside: Maybe just lay off the cake. You're looking kinda pudgy.$5.00 -
THE KOALA HATES YOU
BirthdayFront: It's your birthday. Inside: But don't expect special treatment, I don't like you that much.$5.00 -
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HERPES AND HENS
BirthdayFront: It's your birthday and I love you so much it burns. Inside: Or maybe that's the herpes.$5.00 -
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YOUR LIFE SUCKS, GIRAFFE
BirthdayFront: Today is a special day to celebrate your life. Inside: Too bad your life sucks.$5.00 -
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THAT MOUSE IS SOBER
BirthdayFront: So you're having another birthday. Inside: The way you drink I'm surprised you made it this far.$5.00 -
BUNNIES CAN’T BE JERKS
BirthdayFront: For your birthday I wanted to get you something really great. Inside: But then I remembered that you're a jerk.$5.00 -
STICKY SOCKS
CardsFront: So sweet and innocent. Inside: Until all his socks start sticking together.$5.00 -
BABY BITCH SPICE
CardsFront: Sugar and spice and everything nice. Inside: Until puberty turns her into a bitch.$5.00 -
PUP PUP PUPPY
CardsFront: Congrats on a great addition to the family. Inside: Though a dog would have been a better choice.$5.00 -
BIG BABY BIGGER VAGINA
CardsFront: Congrats on another beautiful baby. Inside: You must have a huge vagina.$5.00 -
BIG OL TITTIES
CardsFront: You have a beautiful pregnant glow. Inside: And your tits are huge.$5.00 -
BLAME THE DINGO
CardsFront: Your baby deserves the best. Inside: So hand it over to me and I'll raise it.$5.00 -
SAFETY FIRST
CardsFront: I heard you're expecting. Inside: I guess you don't believe in safe sex.$5.00 -
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