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    GIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS

    Birthday
    Inside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)
    $5.50
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    LITTLE ASSHOLE THINGS

    Cards
    Inside: Don't be an asshole.
    $5.50
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    FUCKING BIRTHDAY CARDS

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. It likely means that I was invited to a celebration of some sort. (That means being around people.)
    $5.50
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    BIG ONE

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. You're getting pretty old, so you should celebrate while you still can. (Did you know that statistically you are 14% more likely to die on your birthday than any other day? Try not to party that hard.)
    $5.50
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    WHAM BAM

    Cards
    Front: Last Christmas I gave you my heart. Inside: Wait, did I say heart? I meant herpes.
    $5.50
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    HIPPIE DIPPIE BOLOGNA

    Cards
    Front: Have you picked out your Christmas tree? Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies?
    $5.50
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    EXPECT THE BEST

    Cards
    Front: This Christmas will be great. Inside: As long as you buy me something fucking amazing.
    $5.00
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    COVID BLANK

    Cards
    Front: We’re ready for this asshole virus to fuck off. Inside: Blank
    $1.00
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    FUCKING COVID

    Cards
    Front: Sorry we couldn’t celebrate together. Inside: Fucking Covid.
    $1.00
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    NO CASH VALUE

    Birthday
    Front: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Inside: But I don't want to put a dollar value on our relationship.
    $5.00
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    LOVE MARRIAGE BABIES

    Cards
    Front: First comes love.  Then comes marriage. Inside: Then everyone starts bugging you about having kids.
    $5.00
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    COME CUM

    Cards
    Front: Your birthday is coming... Inside: And I will make you cum on your birthday.
    $5.50
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    LITTLE BRAT

    Mother's Day
    Front: Since it's your first Mother's Day I thought I'd get you a card. Inside: We both know your little brat won't get you anything.
    $1.00
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    BIRDS HAVE HOUSES TOO

    New Home
    Front: Your new house is great. Inside: But mine is better.
    $1.00
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    I WANT YOU TO LEAVE

    Goodbye
    Front: A little bird told me that you're leaving. Inside: Good riddance.
    $1.00
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    LITTLE BRAT

    Father's Day
    Front: Since it's your first Father's Day I thought I'd get you a card. Inside: We both know your little brat won't get you anything.
    $1.00
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    OH BABY BABY

    Cards
    Front: I adore babies. Inside: But don't expect babysitting. Or diaper changes.
    $5.00
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    LET’S FUCK

    Painting $15.00
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    FESTIVUS

    Postcard
    Festivus
    $1.00
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    UNDERWEAR DAY

    Postcard
    Underwear Day
    $1.00
  • Sale!
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    TALK SHOW HOST DAY

    Postcard
    TV Talk Show Host Day
    $1.00
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    DOUGHNUT DAY

    Postcard
    Doughnut Day
    $1.00

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  • Quick View

    GIFTY GIFTY NEVER GETS

    Birthday
    Inside: Now you know why this card didn't come with a gift. (You're either a spoiled asshole kid or a grown-up that can buy their own damn stuff.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    LITTLE ASSHOLE THINGS

    Cards
    Inside: Don't be an asshole.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    FUCKING BIRTHDAY CARDS

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. It likely means that I was invited to a celebration of some sort. (That means being around people.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    BIG ONE

    Birthday
    Inside: Reason 4. You're getting pretty old, so you should celebrate while you still can. (Did you know that statistically you are 14% more likely to die on your birthday than any other day? Try not to party that hard.)
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    WHAM BAM

    Cards
    Front: Last Christmas I gave you my heart. Inside: Wait, did I say heart? I meant herpes.
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    HIPPIE DIPPIE BOLOGNA

    Cards
    Front: Have you picked out your Christmas tree? Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies?
    $5.50
  • Quick View

    EXPECT THE BEST

    Cards
    Front: This Christmas will be great. Inside: As long as you buy me something fucking amazing.
    $5.00
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    COVID BLANK

    Cards
    Front: We’re ready for this asshole virus to fuck off. Inside: Blank
    $1.00
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    FUCKING COVID

    Cards
    Front: Sorry we couldn’t celebrate together. Inside: Fucking Covid.
    $1.00
  • Quick View

    NO CASH VALUE

    Birthday
    Front: Everyone loves getting money in a card. Inside: But I don't want to put a dollar value on our relationship.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    LOVE MARRIAGE BABIES

    Cards
    Front: First comes love.  Then comes marriage. Inside: Then everyone starts bugging you about having kids.
    $5.00
  • Quick View

    COME CUM

    Cards
    Front: Your birthday is coming... Inside: And I will make you cum on your birthday.
    $5.50
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    LITTLE BRAT

    Mother's Day
    Front: Since it's your first Mother's Day I thought I'd get you a card. Inside: We both know your little brat won't get you anything.
    $1.00
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    BIRDS HAVE HOUSES TOO

    New Home
    Front: Your new house is great. Inside: But mine is better.
    $1.00
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    I WANT YOU TO LEAVE

    Goodbye
    Front: A little bird told me that you're leaving. Inside: Good riddance.
    $1.00
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    LITTLE BRAT

    Father's Day
    Front: Since it's your first Father's Day I thought I'd get you a card. Inside: We both know your little brat won't get you anything.
    $1.00
  • Quick View

    OH BABY BABY

    Cards
    Front: I adore babies. Inside: But don't expect babysitting. Or diaper changes.
    $5.00
  • Sale!
    Quick View
  • Sale!
    Quick View
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    LET’S FUCK

    Painting $15.00
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    FESTIVUS

    Postcard
    Festivus
    $1.00
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    UNDERWEAR DAY

    Postcard
    Underwear Day
    $1.00
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    TALK SHOW HOST DAY

    Postcard
    TV Talk Show Host Day
    $1.00
  • Sale!
    Quick View

    DOUGHNUT DAY

    Postcard
    Doughnut Day
    $1.00
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