Front: This Mother’s Day I have so much to thank you for.
Back: Like ruining my life.
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Front: Bringing a new life into this world is a beautiful thing.
Back: But it hurts like a bitch.
Front: I can’t wait to see your new baby.
Back: I hear it’s real ugly.
Front: I guess it’s time to baby-proof the house.
Back: You don’t want any of those little buggers getting in.