Front: It’s Father’s Day and I have so much to thank you for.
Back: Like ruining my life.
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Front: Your baby is going to be the cutest.
Inside: Not very smart, but definitely cute.
Front: Happy Anniversary, babe. You’re great.
Inside: But I’m definitely better.
Front: Bringing a new life into this world is a beautiful thing.
Inside: But it hurts like a bitch.