Front: It’s your birthday.
Inside: But don’t expect special treatment, I don’t like you that much.
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Front: Today is a special day to celebrate your life.
Inside: Too bad your life sucks.
Front: So you’re having another birthday.
Inside: The way you drink I’m surprised you made it this far.
Front: I got you the best birthday gift ever.
Inside: But you don’t deserve the best. So I kept it.