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Greeting Cards

A CARD FOR
EVERY OCCASION

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    FUCKING BIRTHDAYS

     Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Happy Birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. FRONT: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. INSIDE: Shut the fuck up. FRONT: You only live once. INSIDE: Too bad you already fucked up. FRONT: May all your birthday wishes come true. INSIDE: Except for that one. You fucking pervert. FRONT: Have a very happy birthday. INSIDE: Or don't. I don't fucking care.  
    $27.00
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    THE ESSENTIALS

     Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Let's celebrate. INSIDE: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow. FRONT: It's great that you two found each other. INSIDE: Weirdos gotta stick together. FRONT: Babies are great. INSIDE: Unless you get one of the weird looking ones. FRONT: Happy birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: Another year older. INSIDE: And you're still an asshole.  
    $27.00
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    BEST OF BIRTHDAYS

     Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: So go fuck yourself. FRONT: Make a wish and blow out your candles. INSIDE: Then blow yourself. Cocksucker. FRONT: I heard it's your birthday. INSIDE: I also heard I don't give a shit. FRONT: You always throw the best birthday parties. INSIDE: Is it to make up for your small penis? FRONT: Have a happy birthday. INSIDE: Or rot in hell you old bastard. FRONT: You know who loves birthday parties? INSIDE: Little sissies.  
    $27.00
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    SANTA SATAN

     Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: We went to see Santa. INSIDE: He smelled like a dead hobo. FRONT: It's Christmas. INSIDE: Too bad Santa hates you. FRONT: Do you believe in Santa? INSIDE: Get your head out your ass.  He's not real. FRONT: Every Christmas Santa eats our cookies and drinks our milk. INSIDE: Then he takes a huge dump in our bathroom. FRONT: Hopefully Santa doesn't forget my house. INSIDE: I want to ride that jolly son-of-a-bitch all night. FRONT: I waited up all night to see Santa. INSIDE: He was wasted and there was a hooker in his sleigh.  
    $27.00
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    BEST OF CHRISTMAS

     Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: He sees you when you're sleeping.  He knows when you're awake. INSIDE: He must be stalking you. FRONT: Grandmas got ran over by a reindeer again. INSIDE: That bitch had it coming. FRONT: You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen? INSIDE: They're assholes. FRONT: 'Tis the season. INSIDE: To get chubby. FRONT: Have a holly, jolly Christmas. INSIDE: By getting druuuuunk. FRONT: We went to see Santa. INSIDE: He smelled like a dead hobo.  
    $27.00
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    FUCKING XMAS

     Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: It's Christmas. INSIDE: But who the fuck cares? FRONT: Every Christmas I send you a card in the mail. INSIDE: And this year is no fucking different. FRONT: Santa asked me what you wanted for Christmas. INSIDE: I told him to fuck off. FRONT: It's Christmas time. INSIDE: Fuck you and fuck your family. FRONT: I love elves. INSIDE: Those little fuckers know how to party. FRONT: Have yourself a merry little Christmas. INSIDE: And a happy fucking New Year.  
    $27.00
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    XXX RATED

     Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Mr. and Mrs. Claus are perfect together. INSIDE: She let's him do it up the ass. FRONT: Rudolph is the best. INSIDE: He has a really big dick. FRONT: I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. INSIDE: I always knew she was a whore. FRONT: I love Santa. INSIDE: He makes my panties wet. FRONT: Let's go to the North Pole. INSIDE: I hear the orgies are insane. FRONT: I sat on Santa's lap. INSIDE: It gave him a boner.  
    $27.00
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    CHRISTMAS FAVOURITES

     Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: I heard you're on Santa's naughty list. INSIDE: Slut. FRONT: I saw Santa last night. INSIDE: He was banging your mom. FRONT: There's only one thing I want for Christmas. INSIDE: You.  Naked. FRONT: I love elves. INSIDE: Those little fuckers know how to party. FRONT: It's true what they say about Christmas. INSIDE: It's fucking awesome. FRONT: It's that time of year again. INSIDE: Fuck.  
    $27.00
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    CLASSY AS FUCK

     Cards
    Front: What a gorgeous wedding. Inside: You're so fucking classy.
    $5.00
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    MARRIAGE NUMBER ONE

     Cards
    Front: You only get married once. Inside: Theoretically.
    $5.00
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    WE’RE NOT WORTHY

     Cards
    Front: Heard you got married. Inside: Guess some people weren't invited.
    $5.00
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    CURLY HAIRED FUCKER

     Cards
    Front: I always knew you two would get married. Inside: But that doesn't mean I approve.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    HORSES JUST FUCK

     Cards
    Front: What great news. Inside: You are capable of love.
    $5.00
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    COUPLE OF LOSERS

     Cards
    Front: You're the type of couple that will be together forever. Inside: Yeah right. You don't stand a chance.
    $5.00
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    I THEE WED

     Cards
    Front: Marriage is a wonderful thing. Inside: For the first few months anyway.
    $5.00
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    RUN

     Cards
    Front: I heard wedding bells. Inside: Run.
    $5.00
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    LOPES TIMES TWO

     Cards
    Front: Congratulations on your big day. Inside: It's about fucking time.
    $5.50
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    PLEASE, DON’T DO IT

     Cards
    Front: Congratulations. Inside: Remember, it's not too late until you say "I do."
    $5.00
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    SOUNDS LIKE A SHOTGUN

     Cards
    Front: I heard you're getting hitched. Inside: You get knocked up or something?
    $5.00
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    I CAN’T BELIEVE IT

     Sale
    Front: So you're engaged? Inside: I'm surprised someone considers you marriage material.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    UPPER LIP HAIR

     Sale
    Front: You'll make a beautiful bride. Inside: But you should probably lose the moustache.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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