MANGO MARKET
May 13, 2026
Cards
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Quick ViewWILD THINGS
ChristmasFront: Have you ever wondered what reindeer do on their days off? Inside: You don't want to know. It's wildly inappropriate.$5.95 -
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Quick ViewOH BABY BABY
New BabyFront: I adore babies. Inside: But don't expect babysitting. Or diaper changes.$5.00 -
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Quick ViewGREETING CARD MYSTERY BAG
Box SetsGreeting Card Mystery Bags include a random mix of 10 of our (amazing and hilarious) greeting cards and 10 plain white envelopes for $30 (that's just $3.00/card)! The contents will differ from one bag to a next and none of the bags will have repeats! Though rest assured, we're not jerks (well, we kind of are)... so we won't be filling a bag with 10 Retirement cards (or something equally silly).$30.00 -
Quick ViewDIVORCE
CardsFront: Thank you for including us in your special day. Inside: Will we be invited to your divorce proceedings too?$5.00 -
Quick ViewNO ONE BETTER
ParentingFront: You made me the person I am today. Back: Good job. I'm fucking awesome.$5.95 -
Sale!
Quick ViewYOU SUCK
Good LuckFront: You'll do great. Just remember one thing. Inside: Don't be yourself.Original price was: $5.00.$1.95Current price is: $1.95. -
Quick ViewGIMME THE HARD STUFF
Get WellFront: Sorry that you're going through this. Inside: If you need stronger drugs, just ask.$5.50 -
Quick ViewTHAT FUCKER BE TOUGH
Get WellFront: You'll get through this. Inside: You're a tough motherfucker.$5.50 -
Quick ViewFOXY CHRISTMAS
ChristmasFront: Christmas is all about friends and family. Inside: It's too bad that you don't have either.$5.00 -
Quick ViewNOT AN AGELESS BEAUTY
BirthdayFront: You haven't aged a day since we met. Inside: But you looked old back then.$5.95 -
Quick ViewCARD CARD GIFT CARD
BirthdayFront: Want your birthday gift? Inside: Here's a gift card. Go get it.$5.95 -
Quick ViewNATALIE LIKES OWLS
BirthdayFront: You're a real hoot. Inside: Oops, I mean ho. You're a real ho.$5.95 -
Quick ViewTOO CUTE FOR YOU
New BabyFront: What a beautiful baby Back: There must have been a mix-up at the hospital.$5.00 -
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Quick ViewTHANK YOU
Box SetsThis box set contains 6 cards (one of each below) and 6 plain white envelopes. FRONT: Thanks. You're the best. INSIDE: Well, second best. FRONT: Thank You. INSIDE: There. I said it. FRONT: People just don't send thank you cards like they used to. INSIDE: Fucking jerks. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Thank you for the gift. INSIDE: Is it returnable? FRONT: You deserve a huge thank-you hug. INSIDE: The creepy kind that lingers.$27.00 -
Quick ViewFUCKING BIRTHDAYS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Happy Birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. FRONT: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. INSIDE: Shut the fuck up. FRONT: You only live once. INSIDE: Too bad you already fucked up. FRONT: May all your birthday wishes come true. INSIDE: Except for that one. You fucking pervert. FRONT: Have a very happy birthday. INSIDE: Or don't. I don't fucking care.$27.00 -
Out Of Stock
Quick ViewTHE ESSENTIALS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Let's celebrate. INSIDE: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow. FRONT: It's great that you two found each other. INSIDE: Weirdos gotta stick together. FRONT: Babies are great. INSIDE: Unless you get one of the weird looking ones. FRONT: Happy birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: Another year older. INSIDE: And you're still an asshole.$27.00 -
Quick ViewBEST OF BIRTHDAYS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: So go fuck yourself. FRONT: Make a wish and blow out your candles. INSIDE: Then blow yourself. Cocksucker. FRONT: I heard it's your birthday. INSIDE: I also heard I don't give a shit. FRONT: You always throw the best birthday parties. INSIDE: Is it to make up for your small penis? FRONT: Have a happy birthday. INSIDE: Or rot in hell you old bastard. FRONT: You know who loves birthday parties? INSIDE: Little sissies.$27.00 -
Out Of Stock
Quick ViewSANTA SATAN
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: We went to see Santa. INSIDE: He smelled like a dead hobo. FRONT: It's Christmas. INSIDE: Too bad Santa hates you. FRONT: Do you believe in Santa? INSIDE: Get your head out your ass. He's not real. FRONT: Every Christmas Santa eats our cookies and drinks our milk. INSIDE: Then he takes a huge dump in our bathroom. FRONT: Hopefully Santa doesn't forget my house. INSIDE: I want to ride that jolly son-of-a-bitch all night. FRONT: I waited up all night to see Santa. INSIDE: He was wasted and there was a hooker in his sleigh.$27.00 -
Quick ViewBEST OF CHRISTMAS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. INSIDE: He must be stalking you. FRONT: Grandmas got ran over by a reindeer again. INSIDE: That bitch had it coming. FRONT: You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen? INSIDE: They're assholes. FRONT: 'Tis the season. INSIDE: To get chubby. FRONT: Have a holly, jolly Christmas. INSIDE: By getting druuuuunk. FRONT: We went to see Santa. INSIDE: He smelled like a dead hobo.$27.00
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Quick View
WILD THINGS
ChristmasFront: Have you ever wondered what reindeer do on their days off? Inside: You don't want to know. It's wildly inappropriate.$5.95 -
Quick View
-
Quick View
OH BABY BABY
New BabyFront: I adore babies. Inside: But don't expect babysitting. Or diaper changes.$5.00 -
Quick View
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Quick View
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Quick View
-
Quick View
GREETING CARD MYSTERY BAG
Box SetsGreeting Card Mystery Bags include a random mix of 10 of our (amazing and hilarious) greeting cards and 10 plain white envelopes for $30 (that's just $3.00/card)! The contents will differ from one bag to a next and none of the bags will have repeats! Though rest assured, we're not jerks (well, we kind of are)... so we won't be filling a bag with 10 Retirement cards (or something equally silly).$30.00 -
Quick View
DIVORCE
CardsFront: Thank you for including us in your special day. Inside: Will we be invited to your divorce proceedings too?$5.00 -
Quick View
NO ONE BETTER
ParentingFront: You made me the person I am today. Back: Good job. I'm fucking awesome.$5.95 -
Sale!Quick View
YOU SUCK
Good LuckFront: You'll do great. Just remember one thing. Inside: Don't be yourself.Original price was: $5.00.$1.95Current price is: $1.95. -
Quick View
GIMME THE HARD STUFF
Get WellFront: Sorry that you're going through this. Inside: If you need stronger drugs, just ask.$5.50 -
Quick View
THAT FUCKER BE TOUGH
Get WellFront: You'll get through this. Inside: You're a tough motherfucker.$5.50 -
Quick View
FOXY CHRISTMAS
ChristmasFront: Christmas is all about friends and family. Inside: It's too bad that you don't have either.$5.00 -
Quick View
NOT AN AGELESS BEAUTY
BirthdayFront: You haven't aged a day since we met. Inside: But you looked old back then.$5.95 -
Quick View
CARD CARD GIFT CARD
BirthdayFront: Want your birthday gift? Inside: Here's a gift card. Go get it.$5.95 -
Quick View
NATALIE LIKES OWLS
BirthdayFront: You're a real hoot. Inside: Oops, I mean ho. You're a real ho.$5.95 -
Quick View
TOO CUTE FOR YOU
New BabyFront: What a beautiful baby Back: There must have been a mix-up at the hospital.$5.00 -
Quick View
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Quick View
THANK YOU
Box SetsThis box set contains 6 cards (one of each below) and 6 plain white envelopes. FRONT: Thanks. You're the best. INSIDE: Well, second best. FRONT: Thank You. INSIDE: There. I said it. FRONT: People just don't send thank you cards like they used to. INSIDE: Fucking jerks. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Thank you for the gift. INSIDE: Is it returnable? FRONT: You deserve a huge thank-you hug. INSIDE: The creepy kind that lingers.$27.00 -
Quick View
FUCKING BIRTHDAYS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Happy Birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. FRONT: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. INSIDE: Shut the fuck up. FRONT: You only live once. INSIDE: Too bad you already fucked up. FRONT: May all your birthday wishes come true. INSIDE: Except for that one. You fucking pervert. FRONT: Have a very happy birthday. INSIDE: Or don't. I don't fucking care.$27.00 -
Out Of StockQuick View
THE ESSENTIALS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Let's celebrate. INSIDE: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow. FRONT: It's great that you two found each other. INSIDE: Weirdos gotta stick together. FRONT: Babies are great. INSIDE: Unless you get one of the weird looking ones. FRONT: Happy birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: Another year older. INSIDE: And you're still an asshole.$27.00 -
Quick View
BEST OF BIRTHDAYS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: So go fuck yourself. FRONT: Make a wish and blow out your candles. INSIDE: Then blow yourself. Cocksucker. FRONT: I heard it's your birthday. INSIDE: I also heard I don't give a shit. FRONT: You always throw the best birthday parties. INSIDE: Is it to make up for your small penis? FRONT: Have a happy birthday. INSIDE: Or rot in hell you old bastard. FRONT: You know who loves birthday parties? INSIDE: Little sissies.$27.00 -
Out Of StockQuick View
SANTA SATAN
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: We went to see Santa. INSIDE: He smelled like a dead hobo. FRONT: It's Christmas. INSIDE: Too bad Santa hates you. FRONT: Do you believe in Santa? INSIDE: Get your head out your ass. He's not real. FRONT: Every Christmas Santa eats our cookies and drinks our milk. INSIDE: Then he takes a huge dump in our bathroom. FRONT: Hopefully Santa doesn't forget my house. INSIDE: I want to ride that jolly son-of-a-bitch all night. FRONT: I waited up all night to see Santa. INSIDE: He was wasted and there was a hooker in his sleigh.$27.00 -
Quick View
BEST OF CHRISTMAS
Box SetsBox set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. INSIDE: He must be stalking you. FRONT: Grandmas got ran over by a reindeer again. INSIDE: That bitch had it coming. FRONT: You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen? INSIDE: They're assholes. FRONT: 'Tis the season. INSIDE: To get chubby. FRONT: Have a holly, jolly Christmas. INSIDE: By getting druuuuunk. FRONT: We went to see Santa. INSIDE: He smelled like a dead hobo.$27.00
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