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Greeting Cards

A CARD FOR
EVERY OCCASION

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SMALL SAVAGES
New Baby
Front: Congratulations. Inside: Babies ruin everything.
$5.00
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OH BABY BABY
New Baby
Front: I adore babies. Inside: But don't expect babysitting. Or diaper changes.
$5.00
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LEAKY BOOBIES
New Baby
Front: Your baby is so cute. Inside: I'm lactating just looking at it.
$5.00
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BASTARD CHILD
New Baby
Front: Congratulations. Inside: Your child is a bastard.
$5.00
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CUTIE PATOOTIE
New Baby
Front: Congrats on the new baby. Inside: It's pretty fucking cute.
$5.95
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Sale!

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DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY SHIRT
Sale Original price was: $30.00.Current price is: $10.00.
Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
Sale!

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KILLER CLOWN SHIRT
Sale Original price was: $30.00.Current price is: $10.00.
Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
Sale!

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BIRD IN SPACE SHIRT
Sale Original price was: $30.00.Current price is: $10.00.
Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
Sale!

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BIRD IN SPACE SHIRT (Women’s)
Sale Original price was: $30.00.Current price is: $10.00.
Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
Sale!

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SWEARING IS FUCKING FUNNY
Painting Original price was: $60.00.Current price is: $15.00.
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Sale!

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MASTURBATION IS FUN
Painting Original price was: $60.00.Current price is: $15.00.
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YOUR LIFE SUCKS
Painting Original price was: $60.00.Current price is: $15.00.
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Sale!

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LET’S FUCK
Painting Original price was: $60.00.Current price is: $15.00.
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Sale!

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OH DANG
Painting Original price was: $60.00.Current price is: $15.00.
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Sale!

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YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER
Painting Original price was: $60.00.Current price is: $15.00.
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Sale!

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STOP BEING A DOUCHEBAG
Painting Original price was: $60.00.Current price is: $15.00.
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Sale!

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POSTCARD PACKAGE
Postcard
Postcard Package
Original price was: $25.00.Current price is: $12.00.
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Sale!

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FESTIVUS
Postcard
Festivus
Original price was: $2.95.Current price is: $1.00.
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Sale!

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UNDERWEAR DAY
Postcard
Underwear Day
Original price was: $2.95.Current price is: $1.00.
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Sale!

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UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER DAY
Postcard
Ugly Christmas Sweater Day
Original price was: $2.95.Current price is: $1.00.
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Sale!

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PICKLE DAY
Postcard
Pickle Day
Original price was: $2.95.Current price is: $1.00.
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MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS
Holiday Magnets
Merry fucking Christmas.
$4.00
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STICK YOUR DICK IN ME
Everyday Magnets
Stick your dick in me.
$4.00
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SCREW YOU
Everyday Magnets
Screw you.
$4.00
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I JUST PEED A LITTLE
Everyday Magnets
I just peed a little.
$4.00
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GREETING CARD MYSTERY BAG
Box Sets
Greeting Card Mystery Bags include a random mix of 10 of our (amazing and hilarious) greeting cards and 10 plain white envelopes for $30 (that's just $3.00/card)! The contents will differ from one bag to a next and none of the bags will have repeats! Though rest assured, we're not jerks (well, we kind of are)... so we won't be filling a bag with 10 Retirement cards (or something equally silly).
$30.00
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DIVORCE
Cards
Front: Thank you for including us in your special day. Inside: Will we be invited to your divorce proceedings too?
$5.00
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NO ONE BETTER
Parenting
Front: You made me the person I am today. Back: Good job. I'm fucking awesome.
$5.95
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Sale!

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YOU SUCK
Good Luck
Front: You'll do great. Just remember one thing. Inside: Don't be yourself.
Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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GIMME THE HARD STUFF
Get Well
Front: Sorry that you're going through this. Inside: If you need stronger drugs, just ask.
$5.50
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THAT FUCKER BE TOUGH
Get Well
Front: You'll get through this. Inside: You're a tough motherfucker.
$5.50
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FOXY CHRISTMAS
Christmas
Front: Christmas is all about friends and family. Inside: It's too bad that you don't have either.
$5.00
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NOT AN AGELESS BEAUTY
Birthday
Front: You haven't aged a day since we met. Inside: But you looked old back then.
$5.95
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CARD CARD GIFT CARD
Birthday
Front: Want your birthday gift? Inside: Here's a gift card. Go get it.
$5.95
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NATALIE LIKES OWLS
Birthday
Front: You're a real hoot. Inside: Oops, I mean ho. You're a real ho.
$5.95
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TOO CUTE FOR YOU
New Baby
Front: What a beautiful baby Back: There must have been a mix-up at the hospital.
$5.00
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BIG BANG BABY
New Baby
Front: How exciting. Inside: You aren't shooting blanks.
$5.00
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Sale!

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DYING DEER
Painting
Front: Back:
Original price was: $60.00.Current price is: $15.00.
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Sale!

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MOB DOG
Sale Original price was: $60.00.Current price is: $15.00.
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Sale!

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NERD
Painting Original price was: $60.00.Current price is: $15.00.
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Sale!

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WHORSE
Painting Original price was: $60.00.Current price is: $15.00.
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Sale!

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KILLER CLOWN
Painting Original price was: $60.00.Current price is: $15.00.
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Out Of Stock
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I FEEL DEAD INSIDE
Coaster
I feel dead inside.
$6.95
Read more
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SHUT THE HELL UP
Coaster
Shut the hell up.
$6.95
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MASTURBATION IS FUN
Coaster
Masturbation is fun.
$6.95
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