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Greeting Cards

A CARD FOR
EVERY OCCASION

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    TURD

    Everyday Magnets
    Turd.
    $4.00
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    SISSY

    Everyday Magnets
    Sissy.
    $4.00
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    DUFUS

    Everyday Magnets
    Dufus.
    $4.00
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    ASSHOLE

    Everyday Magnets
    Asshole.
    $4.00
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    CUNT

    Everyday Magnets
    Cunt.
    $4.00
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    SLUT

    Magnet
    Slut.
    $4.00
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    NERD

    Everyday Magnets
    Nerd.
    $4.00
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    GONAD

    Everyday Magnets
    Gonad.
    $4.00
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    COCKSUCKER

    Everyday Magnets
    Cocksucker.
    $4.00
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    FUCKER

    Everyday Magnets
    Fucker.
    $4.00
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    FREAK

    Everyday Magnets
    Freak.
    $4.00
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    MOTHERFUCKER

    Everyday Magnets
    Motherfucker.
    $4.00
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    CREEP

    Everyday Magnets
    Creep.
    $4.00
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    PRICK

    Everyday Magnets
    Prick.
    $4.00
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    JERKFACE

    Everyday Magnets
    Jerkface.
    $4.00
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    BUTTHEAD

    Everyday Magnets
    Butthead.
    $4.00
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    HO

    Everyday Magnets
    Ho.
    $4.00
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    THANK YOU

    Box Sets
    ​This box set contains 6 cards (one of each below) and 6 plain white envelopes. FRONT: Thanks. You're the best. INSIDE: Well, second best. FRONT: Thank You. INSIDE: There. I said it. FRONT: People just don't send thank you cards like they used to. INSIDE: Fucking jerks. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Thank you for the gift. INSIDE: Is it returnable? FRONT: You deserve a huge thank-you hug. INSIDE: The creepy kind that lingers.  
    $27.00
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    FUCKING BIRTHDAYS

    Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Happy Birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. FRONT: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. INSIDE: Shut the fuck up. FRONT: You only live once. INSIDE: Too bad you already fucked up. FRONT: May all your birthday wishes come true. INSIDE: Except for that one. You fucking pervert. FRONT: Have a very happy birthday. INSIDE: Or don't. I don't fucking care.  
    $27.00
  • Out Of Stock
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    THE ESSENTIALS

    Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: Thank you. INSIDE: You're fucking awesome. FRONT: Let's celebrate. INSIDE: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow. FRONT: It's great that you two found each other. INSIDE: Weirdos gotta stick together. FRONT: Babies are great. INSIDE: Unless you get one of the weird looking ones. FRONT: Happy birthday. INSIDE: Holy fuck, you're old. FRONT: Another year older. INSIDE: And you're still an asshole.  
    $27.00
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    BEST OF BIRTHDAYS

    Box Sets
    Box set contains 6 cards + 6 envelopes in a plastic box. FRONT: It's your birthday. INSIDE: So go fuck yourself. FRONT: Make a wish and blow out your candles. INSIDE: Then blow yourself. Cocksucker. FRONT: I heard it's your birthday. INSIDE: I also heard I don't give a shit. FRONT: You always throw the best birthday parties. INSIDE: Is it to make up for your small penis? FRONT: Have a happy birthday. INSIDE: Or rot in hell you old bastard. FRONT: You know who loves birthday parties? INSIDE: Little sissies.  
    $27.00

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    OH OH OH SO LONELY

    Cards
    Front: Being alone on Valentine's Day is okay. Inside: As long as you don't mind masturbating.
    $5.00
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    THE GIFT OF ME

    Cards
    Front: I have the best Valentine's Day gift for you. Inside: My naked body.
    $5.00
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    GIVE ME SUGAR BABY

    Cards
    Front: Valentine's Day is about love and spending time together. Inside: But I'd prefer chocolate.
    $5.00
  • Out Of Stock
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    NO ONE ELSE WILL

    Cards
    Front: This Valentine's Day there's one thing we should do. Inside: Fuck.
    $5.00
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    LET’S DO IT MONKEY STYLE

    Cards
    Front: Happy Valentine's Day. Inside: Let's get freaky.
    $5.00
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    HOOKERS

    Cards
    Front: Don't worry about being alone on Valentine's Day. Inside: That's what hookers are for.
    $5.00
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    ENVY AND ME

    Cards
    Front: There's one reason I'm giving you this card. Inside: The card companies tell me I have to.
    $5.00
  • Sale!
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    UGLIES BUMPIN UGLIES

    Cards
    Front: I heard you don't have a Valentine yet. Back: I bet it's because you're ugly.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    HIPPOS WANT SEX

    Cards
    Front: Will you be my Valentine? Inside: Wait, you like to put out. Right?
    $5.00
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    HAMSTERS LIKE SLUTS

    Cards
    Front: Will you be my Valentine? Inside: I like you cuz you're slutty.
    $5.00
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    NEGATIVE NANCY

    Cards
    Front: We've been thinking about you. Back: Mostly negative thoughts.
    $5.00
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    CREEPED OUT

    Cards
    Front: I think about you all the time. Back: It's actually kind of creepy.
    $5.00
  • Sale!
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    BONE CRACKER

    Cards
    Front: I hope you've been thinking about me as much as I've been thinking about you. Back: If not I might have to break your legs.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    FUCK THAT MUSHY SHIT

    Cards
    Front: I've been thinking about you. Back: And I figured I'd fucking tell you, okay?
    $5.00
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    I THINK I HATE YOU

    Cards
    Front: I can't stop thinking about you. Back: And it's making me hate you.
    $5.00
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    ROBOTS CAN CHEAT

    Cards
    Front: You're the only thing on my mind. Back: Well, you and that blonde I nailed last night.
    $5.00
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    MASTURBATION NATION

    Cards
    Front: All I can do is think about you. Back: And it's making me touch myself.
    $5.00
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    I’M A PERVERT

    Cards
    Front: Just thought you should know that I'm thinking about you. Back: And you're naked.
    $5.00
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    NO NO FEELING

    Thank you
    Front: You deserve a huge thank-you hug. Inside: The creepy kind that lingers.
    $5.95
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    RETURN TO SENDER

    Thank you
    Front: Thank you for the gift. Inside: Is it returnable?
    $5.00
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    GENEROUS GENITALS

    Thank you
    Front: I don't know how to thank you. Inside: Can I use my genitals?
    $5.00
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    FUCK US AWESOMELY

    Thank you
    Front: Thank you. Inside: You're fucking awesome.
    $5.95
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    FROM US FUCKERS

    Thank you
    Front: People just don't send thank you cards like they used to. Inside: Fucking jerks.
    $5.95
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    WE HAVE MANNERS

    Thank you
    Front: We don't know how to thank you. Back: So we'll just sign our names in this card.
    $5.00
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