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DRUGS ARE BAD
New JobFront: That's great news about the job. Back: I thought you'd fail the drug test.$5.00 -
WHORE CEO
New JobFront: Heard you got that job. Back: So is hooking just a part-time thing now?$5.00Original price was: $5.00.$1.95Current price is: $1.95. -
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE
New JobFront: Congrats on the new position. Back: I thought you could only do missionary.$5.95 -
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ALWAYS ON TOP
New JobFront: I heard you got a promotion. Back: Way to sleep your way to the top.$5.00Original price was: $5.00.$1.95Current price is: $1.95. -
INDEPENDENT PENGUIN
New HomeFront: Congrats on your new place. Back: Are you sure you can afford it?$5.95 -
SWEDISH MEATBALLS
New HomeFront: You have a beautiful new home. Back: But your furniture sucks.$5.00 -
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MORTGAGE SMORTGAGE
New HomeFront: What a great house. Back: Too bad you won't own it for 30 years.$5.00 -
I DON’T PAY RENT
New HomeFront: Congratulations on a beautiful new home. Back: When can I move in?$5.00 -
DUMPITY DUMP DUMP
New HomeFront: It's great that you have a new home. Back: Your old place was a dump.$5.00 -
FORTY AND MOVING OUT
New HomeFront: So you have a new home. Back: That's great. Your parents were getting sick of you.$5.00 -
GET A NEW, NEW HOUSE
New HomeFront: Congratulations on your new home. Back: Looks like a real fixer upper.$5.00Original price was: $5.00.$1.95Current price is: $1.95. -
HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR
HanukkahFront: Have yourself a Happy Hanukkah. Inside: And a happy fucking New Year.$5.00 -
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GIFT TIMES EIGHT
HanukkahFront: Hanukkah is here. Inside: I'll take my first gift now.$5.00Original price was: $5.00.$1.95Current price is: $1.95. -
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MERRY HANUKKAH
HanukkahFront: Hanukkah's great. Inside: But Christmas just seems so much better.$5.00 -
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BACK OFF PRICK
Father's DayFront: You're the best dad ever. Back: Even if you won't get off my back.$5.00 -
YOU’RE NOT MY DAD
Father's DayFront: Father-in-laws deserve cards too. Back: Though I don't know why. You didn't raise me.$5.00 -
FATHER BY MARRIAGE
Father's DayFront: You're the best father-in-law ever. Back: Just kidding. I hate you.$5.00 -
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OLD AGE HOME
Father's DayFront: Let's make this the best Father's Day ever. Back: Because next year I'm putting you in a home.$5.00 -
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EVERYBODY FARTS
Father's DayFront: Dad, you taught me life's most important lesson. Back: When I fart I blame it on someone else.$5.95 -
I HATE MYSELF
Father's DayFront: Thanks dad. You really made me the person I am today. Back: I hate myself.$5.00Original price was: $5.00.$1.95Current price is: $1.95. -
I WAS A MISTAKE
Father's DayFront: Thank you dad. Inside: I know I was a mistake, but thanks anyway.$5.00 -
I’M SUPER AWESOME
Father's DayFront: You did a great job raising me, dad. Back: But I wouldn't be so proud of the others.$5.00 -
FIXING MY LIFE
Father's DayFront: It's Father's Day and I have so much to thank you for. Back: Like ruining my life.$5.00 -
ARROGANT APE
Father's DayFront: You've taught me so much dad. Inside: Like how to be an asshole.$5.00 -
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COCKY MOFO
CongratulationsFront: You must be so proud of yourself. Inside: You cocky motherfucker.$5.95 -
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LOWERED EXPECTATIONS
CongratulationsFront: You did a great job. Inside: But expectations were low.$5.00 -
ATTENTION SEEKING DOG
CongratulationsFront: Congratulations. You did it. Inside: Big fucking deal.$5.00 -
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YOU NORMALLY SUCK
CongratulationsFront: Congratulations. Inside: You've finally impressed me.$5.00 -
JUST SAY NO
CongratulationsFront: Let's go celebrate. Inside: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow.$5.95 -
I’M JUST JEALOUS
CongratulationsFront: Congratulations. Inside: I hate you.$5.00Original price was: $5.00.$1.95Current price is: $1.95. -
YOU USUALLY FAIL
CongratulationsFront: Congrats. Inside: I can't believe you actually did it.$5.95 -
THIS CARD IS MEAN
CongratulationsFront: I just want to say congratulations. Inside: You didn't fuck up for once.$5.00
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