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Greeting Cards

A CARD FOR
EVERY OCCASION

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    FATHERLY LOVE

    Father's Day
    Front: I love you dad. Inside: Even if you don't love me.
    $5.00
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    OLD AGE HOME

    Father's Day
    Front: Let's make this the best Father's Day ever. Back: Because next year I'm putting you in a home.
    $5.00
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    DAD VS MOM

    Father's Day
    Front: I love you dad. Back: But I love mom more.
    $5.00
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    EVERYBODY FARTS

    Father's Day
    Front: Dad, you taught me life's most important lesson. Back: When I fart I blame it on someone else.
    $5.95
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    I HATE MYSELF

    Father's Day
    Front: Thanks dad. You really made me the person I am today. Back: I hate myself.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    I WAS A MISTAKE

    Father's Day
    Front: Thank you dad. Inside: I know I was a mistake, but thanks anyway.
    $5.00
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    I’M SUPER AWESOME

    Father's Day
    Front: You did a great job raising me, dad. Back: But I wouldn't be so proud of the others.
    $5.00
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    FIXING MY LIFE

    Father's Day
    Front: It's Father's Day and I have so much to thank you for. Back: Like ruining my life.
    $5.00
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    ARROGANT APE

    Father's Day
    Front: You've taught me so much dad. Inside: Like how to be an asshole.
    $5.00
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    WORMS CAN’T BE DADS

    Father's Day
    Front: Happy Father's Day. Inside: Prick.
    $5.00
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    BITCH PARTY

    Congratulations
    Front: It's party time. Inside: Where my bitches at?
    $5.95
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    COCKY MOFO

    Congratulations
    Front: You must be so proud of yourself. Inside: You cocky motherfucker.
    $5.95
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    BALLS BALLS BALLS

    Congratulations
    Front: Congratulations. Inside: You finally grew a pair.
    $5.95
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    LOWERED EXPECTATIONS

    Congratulations
    Front: You did a great job. Inside: But expectations were low.
    $5.00
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    ATTENTION SEEKING DOG

    Congratulations
    Front: Congratulations. You did it. Inside: Big fucking deal.
    $5.00
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    I’M BETTER THAN YOU

    Congratulations
    Front: Congrats. Inside: You think you're better than me?
    $5.00
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    YOU NORMALLY SUCK

    Congratulations
    Front: Congratulations. Inside: You've finally impressed me.
    $5.00
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    JUST SAY NO

    Congratulations
    Front: Let's go celebrate. Inside: I'll get the hookers. You get the blow.
    $5.95
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    I’M JUST JEALOUS

    Congratulations
    Front: Congratulations. Inside: I hate you.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    YOU USUALLY FAIL

    Congratulations
    Front: Congrats. Inside: I can't believe you actually did it.
    $5.95
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    THIS CARD IS MEAN

    Congratulations
    Front: I just want to say congratulations. Inside: You didn't fuck up for once.
    $5.00

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    DO THE HULA

    Bon Voyage
    Front: Have a great trip. Inside: But don't rush home. No one is going to miss you
    $5.00
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    FORGET ME NOT

    Belated Birthday
    Front: I'm sorry I missed your birthday. Inside: You're just not one of my priorities right now.
    $5.00
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    ASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLE

    Belated Birthday
    Front: I'm sorry I missed your birthday. Inside: I'm such an asshole.
    $5.95
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    I WON’T KILL YOU

    Belated Birthday
    Front: I can't believe I missed your birthday. Inside: You better not miss mine or I'll fucking kill you.
    $5.95
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    SORRY BUDDY

    Belated Birthday
    Front: I'm so sorry I forgot. Inside: Chances are I'll forget next year too.
    $5.00
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    DOLLAR STORE KITTEN

    Belated Birthday
    Front: I missed your birthday? Inside: Oh crap.
    $5.00
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    SO WHAT IF I FORGOT

    Belated Birthday
    Front: I bet you think I forgot your birthday. Inside: I did.
    $5.95
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    BETTER THINGS TO DO

    Belated Birthday
    Front: Sorry I missed your birthday. Inside: I was busy.
    $5.00
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    MISTAKES HAPPEN

    Birthday
    Front: Let's celebrate your birth. Inside: Even though you were an unplanned pregnancy.
    $5.95
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    WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY

    Birthday
    Front: It's your birthday. Inside: Or was your birthday? Or is almost your birthday? When the fuck is your birthday?
    $5.95
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    DEFINITELY TOO OLD

    Birthday
    Front: A piece of birthday advice for you? Inside: Start lying about your age.
    $5.95
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    OLD BROAD

    Birthday
    Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: You old broad.
    $5.95
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    MOMMY’S VAG

    Birthday
    Front: Your birthday is a reason to celebrate. Inside: Celebrate coming out of your mom's vagina.
    $5.95
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    DEAD BEAT

    Birthday
    Front: Happy birthday. Inside: Think you'll make it to the next one?
    $5.95
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    ANOTHER FUCKING DAY

    Birthday
    Front: Have a very happy birthday. Inside: Or don't. I don't fucking care.
    $5.95
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    MEAT AND MORE MEAT

    Birthday
    Front: It's time to celebrate you. Inside: Dinner and a bj?
    $5.95
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    DRINK DRANK DRUNK

    Birthday
    Front: Another birthday. Inside: Another reason to get shit-faced.
    $5.95
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    OLD AND UGLY

    Birthday
    Front: Getting old is hard. Inside: Especially when you start looking like shit.
    $5.95
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    DIRTY DREAMS

    Birthday
    Front: May all your birthday wishes come true. Inside: You fucking pervert.
    $5.95
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    NOW YOU HAVE NOTHING

    Birthday
    Front: What do you get for someone who has everything? Inside: Nothing.
    $5.95
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    WHORES R US

    Birthday
    Front: We found you an amazing birthday gift. Inside: But somehow a two-dollar whole didn't seem appropriate.
    $5.95
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    WE’RE ALL CHEAPSKATES

    Birthday
    Front: We decided to all chip in for your birthday. Inside: This card is pretty great, huh?
    $5.95
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    SKUNKS LIKE IT DIRTY

    Birthday
    Front: This year your birthday is extra special. Inside: So go get laid.
    $5.95
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    SUGAR TITS

    Birthday
    Front: For your birthday how about a nice dinner and some dancing? Inside: You're paying.
    $5.95
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