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Greeting Cards

A CARD FOR
EVERY OCCASION

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    I’M DESPERATE

    Cards
    Front: Will you be my Valentine? Inside: Please.
    $5.00
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    TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT

    Cards
    Front: Will you be my Valentine? Inside: I'll give you an orgasm.
    $5.00
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    CARDS ARE BEST ANYWAY

    Cards
    Front: You deserve the best Valentine's Day ever. Inside: Too bad all I can afford is this card.
    $5.00
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    THE CHEAPER THE BETTER

    Cards
    Front: Today is the day of love. Inside: Oh, and cheap gifts and cheap sex.
    $5.00
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    OH OH OH SO LONELY

    Cards
    Front: Being alone on Valentine's Day is okay. Inside: As long as you don't mind masturbating.
    $5.00
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    THE GIFT OF ME

    Cards
    Front: I have the best Valentine's Day gift for you. Inside: My naked body.
    $5.00
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    GIVE ME SUGAR BABY

    Cards
    Front: Valentine's Day is about love and spending time together. Inside: But I'd prefer chocolate.
    $5.00
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    NO ONE ELSE WILL

    Cards
    Front: This Valentine's Day there's one thing we should do. Inside: Fuck.
    $5.00
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    LET’S DO IT MONKEY STYLE

    Cards
    Front: Happy Valentine's Day. Inside: Let's get freaky.
    $5.00
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    HOOKERS

    Cards
    Front: Don't worry about being alone on Valentine's Day. Inside: That's what hookers are for.
    $5.00
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    ENVY AND ME

    Cards
    Front: There's one reason I'm giving you this card. Inside: The card companies tell me I have to.
    $5.00
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    UGLIES BUMPIN UGLIES

    Cards
    Front: I heard you don't have a Valentine yet. Back: I bet it's because you're ugly.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    HIPPOS WANT SEX

    Cards
    Front: Will you be my Valentine? Inside: Wait, you like to put out. Right?
    $5.00
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    HAMSTERS LIKE SLUTS

    Cards
    Front: Will you be my Valentine? Inside: I like you cuz you're slutty.
    $5.00
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    NEGATIVE NANCY

    Cards
    Front: We've been thinking about you. Back: Mostly negative thoughts.
    $5.00
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    CREEPED OUT

    Cards
    Front: I think about you all the time. Back: It's actually kind of creepy.
    $5.00
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    BONE CRACKER

    Cards
    Front: I hope you've been thinking about me as much as I've been thinking about you. Back: If not I might have to break your legs.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    FUCK THAT MUSHY SHIT

    Cards
    Front: I've been thinking about you. Back: And I figured I'd fucking tell you, okay?
    $5.00
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    I THINK I HATE YOU

    Cards
    Front: I can't stop thinking about you. Back: And it's making me hate you.
    $5.00
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    ROBOTS CAN CHEAT

    Cards
    Front: You're the only thing on my mind. Back: Well, you and that blonde I nailed last night.
    $5.00
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    MASTURBATION NATION

    Cards
    Front: All I can do is think about you. Back: And it's making me touch myself.
    $5.00

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    YOU SUFFOCATE ME

    Parenting
    Front: Living away from you has taught me one thing. Back: You were suffocating me.
    $5.00
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    LOSER ALERT

    Cards
    Front: You deserve a wonderful Mother's Day. Inside: But you raised a loser, so all you get is this card.
    $5.00
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    ASS PAIN

    Cards
    Front: Mother's Day is different now that I'm a parent. Inside: Not I understand what a pain in the ass kids are.
    $5.00
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    CAN’T CUT THE CORD

    Cards
    Front: Mom. Inside: Cut the cord already.
    $5.00
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    PLAYING FAVOURITES

    Mother's Day
    Front: Happy Mother's Day. Inside: Admit it. I'm your favourite.
    $5.95
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    WOMEN MAKE BABIES

    Cards
    Front: For my wife on Mother's Day. Inside: You are a great baby machine.
    $5.00
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    BACK OFF BITCH

    Cards
    Front: You're the best mom ever. Inside: Even if you won't get off my back.
    $5.00
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    YOU’RE NOT MY MOM

    Cards
    Front: Mother-in-laws deserve cards too. Inside: Though I don't know why. You didn't raise me.
    $5.00
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    MOTHER BY MARRIAGE

    Cards
    Front: You're the best mother-in-law ever. Inside: Just kidding. I hate you.
    $5.00
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    MOTHERLY LOVE

    Cards
    Front: I love you mom. Inside: Even if you don't love me.
    $5.00
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    OLD AGE HOME

    Mother's Day
    Front: Let's make this the best Mother's Day ever. Inside: Because next year I'm putting you in a home.
    $5.95
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    MOM VS DAD

    Cards
    Front: I love you mom. Inside: But I love dad more.
    $5.00
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    ROBOTS DON’T HAVE EARS

    Cards
    Front: Mom, you taught me life's most important lesson. Inside: Too bad I wasn't listening.
    $5.00
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    I HATE MYSELF

    Cards
    Front: Thanks mom. You really made me the person I am today. Inside: I hate myself.
    $5.00
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    I WAS A MISTAKE

    Cards
    Front: Thank you mom. Inside: I know I was a mistake, but thanks anyway.
    $5.00
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    I’M SUPER AWESOME

    Cards
    Front: You did a great job raising me, mom. Inside: But I wouldn't be so proud of the others.
    $5.00
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    FIXING MY LIFE

    Cards
    Front: This Mother's Day I have so much to thank you for. Inside: Like ruining my life.
    $5.00
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    CONSTANT NAG APE

    Cards
    Front: You've taught me so much mom. Inside: Like how to nag.
    $5.00
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    WORMS CAN’T BE MOMS

    Cards
    Front: Happy Mother's Day. Inside: Bitch.
    $5.00
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    SO HARD IT HURTS

    Cards
    Front: My heart aches for you. Back: So does my erection.
    $5.00
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    STAY THE FUCK AWAY

    Cards
    Front: We miss you. Back: But that doesn't mean you should come back.
    $5.00
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    HURRICANE AND TORNADO

    Cards
    Front: You should know that we really miss you. Back: Though this peace and quiet has been really nice.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    LOVE STINKS

    Cards
    Front: I really miss you guys. Back: Just kidding. I almost forgot about you.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
  • Sale!
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    UNICORNS ARE MAGICAL

    Cards
    Front: I miss everyone so much. Back: Except for you.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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