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Greeting Cards

A CARD FOR
EVERY OCCASION

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MR AND MRS SEXLESS
Cards
Front: Things change when you get married. Inside: Like, you have to stop sleeping around.
$5.00
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MONKEY LOVE IS BOGUS
Cards
Front: Congratulations on your big day. Inside: When you two get a divorce, call me.
$5.00
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PENETRATION DAY
Cards
Front: Hey there Valentine. Inside: Penetrate me.
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ANOTHER SHITTY DAY
Cards
Front: It's Valentine's Day. Inside: But who gives a shit?
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GETTING DOWN
Cards
Front: Hey Valentine. Inside: Take your pants off and let's do this.
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FUCKING FIRE PANTS
Cards
Front: You say you don't care about Valentine's Day? Inside: But I know that's a fucking lie.
$5.00
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STICK IT TO ME
Cards
Front: I want you to be my Valentine. Inside: And I want you to stick your dick in me.
$5.00
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SEXY LEG HAIR
Cards
Front: Will you be my Valentine? Inside: I promise to shave my legs.
$5.00
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WIFE ONE TWO THREE
Cards
Front: Have you heard about cupid? Inside: He's a polygamist.
$5.00
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SINGLE LOSERS
Cards
Front: Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love. Inside: And to laugh at single people.
$5.00
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DRINK AWAY OUR TEARS
Cards
Front: It's Valentine's Day again. Inside: Let's get drunk.
$5.00
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I’M DESPERATE
Cards
Front: Will you be my Valentine? Inside: Please.
$5.00
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TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT
Cards
Front: Will you be my Valentine? Inside: I'll give you an orgasm.
$5.00
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CARDS ARE BEST ANYWAY
Cards
Front: You deserve the best Valentine's Day ever. Inside: Too bad all I can afford is this card.
$5.00
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THE CHEAPER THE BETTER
Cards
Front: Today is the day of love. Inside: Oh, and cheap gifts and cheap sex.
$5.00
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OH OH OH SO LONELY
Cards
Front: Being alone on Valentine's Day is okay. Inside: As long as you don't mind masturbating.
$5.00
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THE GIFT OF ME
Cards
Front: I have the best Valentine's Day gift for you. Inside: My naked body.
$5.00
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GIVE ME SUGAR BABY
Cards
Front: Valentine's Day is about love and spending time together. Inside: But I'd prefer chocolate.
$5.00
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Out Of Stock
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NO ONE ELSE WILL
Cards
Front: This Valentine's Day there's one thing we should do. Inside: Fuck.
$5.00
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LET’S DO IT MONKEY STYLE
Cards
Front: Happy Valentine's Day. Inside: Let's get freaky.
$5.00
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HOOKERS
Cards
Front: Don't worry about being alone on Valentine's Day. Inside: That's what hookers are for.
$5.00
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JOBLESS LOSER
Retirement
Front: Wow, so you're retiring. Inside: I didn't even know you had a job.
$5.00
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Sale!

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SETTLE DOWN MAN
Retirement
Front: You've finally retired. Inside: I guess that leaves more time for whoring around.
Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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Sale!

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BEER BELLY BUTTON
Retirement
Front: It's time to retire, huh? Inside: What from? Sitting on the couch?
Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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ROLE REVERSAL
Parenting
Front: As a parent, you spent years taking care of me. Back: Not I'm stuck taking care of you.
$5.00
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AIN’T GOOD ENOUGH
Parenting
Front: You did your best raising me. Back: Clearly your best was not good enough.
$5.00
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BABY BUTTMUNCH
Parenting
Front: You're the best parent ever. Inside: Even if you dropped me a bunch.
$5.00
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TOUGH MOTHERFUCKER
Parenting
Front: I know I was a difficult child. Back: But you only have yourself to blame.
$5.00
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SCREW UP UP SCREW
Parenting
Front: Thanks for being a great parent. Back: And not screwing me up too badly.
$5.00
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GOOD NOT GREAT
Parenting
Front: You've been such a good parent. Back: Not the best. Not great. Just good.
$5.00
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ASSHOLE KIDS
Parenting
Front: Having a family with you is a blessing. Back: But our kids are assholes.
$5.00
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OH THE PAIN
Parenting
Front: Every year I become more and more like you. Back: And I hate it.
$5.00
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YOU SUFFOCATE ME
Parenting
Front: Living away from you has taught me one thing. Back: You were suffocating me.
$5.00
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LOSER ALERT
Cards
Front: You deserve a wonderful Mother's Day. Inside: But you raised a loser, so all you get is this card.
$5.00
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ASS PAIN
Cards
Front: Mother's Day is different now that I'm a parent. Inside: Not I understand what a pain in the ass kids are.
$5.00
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CAN’T CUT THE CORD
Cards
Front: Mom. Inside: Cut the cord already.
$5.00
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PLAYING FAVOURITES
Mother's Day
Front: Happy Mother's Day. Inside: Admit it. I'm your favourite.
$5.95
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WOMEN MAKE BABIES
Cards
Front: For my wife on Mother's Day. Inside: You are a great baby machine.
$5.00
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BACK OFF BITCH
Cards
Front: You're the best mom ever. Inside: Even if you won't get off my back.
$5.00
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YOU’RE NOT MY MOM
Cards
Front: Mother-in-laws deserve cards too. Inside: Though I don't know why. You didn't raise me.
$5.00
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MOTHER BY MARRIAGE
Cards
Front: You're the best mother-in-law ever. Inside: Just kidding. I hate you.
$5.00
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MOTHERLY LOVE
Cards
Front: I love you mom. Inside: Even if you don't love me.
$5.00
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OLD AGE HOME
Mother's Day
Front: Let's make this the best Mother's Day ever. Inside: Because next year I'm putting you in a home.
$5.95
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MOM VS DAD
Cards
Front: I love you mom. Inside: But I love dad more.
$5.00
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ROBOTS DON’T HAVE EARS
Cards
Front: Mom, you taught me life's most important lesson. Inside: Too bad I wasn't listening.
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