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Greeting Cards

A CARD FOR
EVERY OCCASION

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    BEARD POWER

    Christmas
    Front: I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. Inside: I always knew she was a whore.
    $5.95
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    RUDY RUDY RUDY

    Christmas
    Front: Rudolph is the best. Inside: He has a really big dick.
    $5.95
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    REAR END HER

    Christmas
    Front: Mr. and Mrs. Claus are perfect together. Inside: She lets him do it up the ass.
    $5.00
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    ASS FACE

    Christmas
    Front: Do you believe in Santa? Inside: Get your head out your ass. He's not real.
    $5.95
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    CRAZY LITTLE BASTARDS

    Christmas
    Front: I love elves. Inside: Those little fuckers know how to party.
    $5.95
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    FUCK YOU FUCKER

    Christmas
    Front: It's Christmas time. Inside: Fuck you and fuck your family.
    $5.95
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    BIG BUTT MAMA

    Christmas
    Front: Have you ever seen Mrs. Claus? Inside: I'd hit that.
    $5.00
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    SANTA’S SHIT STINKS

    Christmas
    Front: Every Christmas Santa eats our cookies and drinks our milk. Inside: Then he takes a huge dump in our bathroom.
    $5.00
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    SANTA IS A BADASS

    Christmas
    Front: Grandma got ran over by a reindeer again. Inside: That bitch had it coming.
    $5.95
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    HO HO HO

    Christmas
    Front: I waited up all night to see Santa. Inside: He was wasted and there was a hooker in his sleigh.
    $5.00
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    FUCK ME SANTA

    Christmas
    Front: Hopefully Santa doesn't forget my house. Inside: I want to ride that jolly son-of-a-bitch all night.
    $5.00
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    CREEPY MCCREEPERSON

    Christmas
    Front: He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. Inside: He must be stalking you.
    $5.95
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    CHRISTMAS IS AWESOME

    Christmas
    Front: It's true what they say about Christmas. Inside: It's fucking awesome.
    $5.95
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    FAT BASTARD

    Christmas
    Front: Last year Santa ate all the cookies I left out. Inside: That fat bastard.
    $5.00
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    CHRISTMAS IS BUM DIGGITY

    Christmas
    Front: Merry Christmas. Inside: What did you get me?
    $5.00
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    NO INSIDE MESSAGE

    Christmas
    Front: Merry Christmas. Inside: That's it. Merry Christmas.
    $5.00
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    TRUE THOUGHTS

    Christmas
    Front: I love Christmas. Inside: Well, I love the gifts.
    $5.00
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    CHEAP CHEAP CHEEP

    Christmas
    Front: This Christmas will prove one thing. Inside: I'm cheap.
    $5.00
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    GIVE GIVE GET

    Christmas
    Front: Christmas is all about the giving. Inside: So give to me dammit.
    $5.00
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    LET’S GET NAKED

    Christmas
    Front: There's only one thing I want for Christmas. Inside: You. Naked.
    $5.00
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    EVERYTHING IS GREEN

    Christmas
    Front: Santa asked me what you wanted for Christmas. Inside: I told him to fuck off.
    $5.95

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  • Sale!
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    AWESOME IS AWESOME

    Birthday
    Front: Birthdays are awesome. Inside: Unless you're old.
    Original price was: $5.50.Current price is: $1.95.
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    WHY GIVE ANYTHING ELSE

    Birthday
    Front: I had no idea what to get you for your birthday. Inside: So here's a card.
    $5.95
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    SAUSI KNOX ROX

    Cards
    Front: I love birthdays. Inside: Well, not yours.
    $5.00
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    DOWN WITH THE OLDIES

    Birthday
    Front: Happy birthday to a dear old friend. Inside: An old, old, old, old, old, old friend.
    $5.95
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    YOU DANCE LIKE ELAINE

    Birthday
    Front: Let's go out dancing for your birthday. Inside: Actually, maybe you should stay home. You're embarrassing.
    $5.95
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    SISSY

    Birthday
    Front: You know who loves birthday parties? Inside: Little sissies.
    $5.00
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    HA HA YOU’RE A FUCK UP

    Birthday
    Front: You only live once. Inside: Too bad you already fucked up.
    $5.95
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    SHUT THE FUCK UP

    Birthday
    Front: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Inside: Shut the fuck up.
    $5.95
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    YOUR HAIR SUCKS

    Birthday
    Front: As your friend I really have to let you in on something. Inside: Your haircut is ridiculous.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
  • Sale!
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    OH POOP

    Birthday
    Front: No birthday gift could express my true feelings for you. Inside: Except, maybe, a pile of crap.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    KISSING LEADS TO BABIES

    Birthday
    Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: Wanna make out?
    $5.95
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    WHAT AN ASS

    Birthday
    Front: Another year older. Inside: And you're still an asshole.
    $5.95
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    BOOBIES

    Birthday
    Front: It must be your birthday. Inside: I can tell because your boobs are sagging.
    $5.95
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    SCOOTIE HAMSTER

    Birthday
    Front: For your birthday lets do something special. Inside: Sex with strangers is special, right?
    Original price was: $5.95.Current price is: $1.95.
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    I’M THE BEST

    Birthday
    Front: I got you the best birthday gift ever. Inside: But you don't deserve the best. So I kept it.
    Original price was: $5.95.Current price is: $1.95.
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    WHOOP DEE DOO

    Birthday
    Front: It's your birthday. Inside: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.
    $5.95
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    YEAH, I’M HORNY

    Birthday
    Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: For the record, I'm only giving you this cuz it improves my chances of getting laid.
    $5.95
  • Out Of Stock
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    I JUST DON’T CARE

    Birthday
    Front: Everyone keeps telling me it's your birthday. Inside: Like I'm supposed to care or something.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    FRIENDLESS LOSER

    Birthday
    Front: I started to plan a big party for your birthday. Inside: But there was no one to invite since you have no friends.
    Original price was: $5.00.Current price is: $1.95.
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    ENOUGH ALREADY

    Birthday
    Front: Every year on this day, we celebrate your birth. Inside: And I'm getting sick of it.
    $5.00
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    BALD PATCHES ARE FUNNY

    Birthday
    Front: Another year older and you look great. Inside: Except for that bald patch.
    $5.95
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    DUSTIN IS SO OLDSCHOOL

    Birthday
    Front: Happy Birthday. Inside: Holy fuck, you're old.
    $5.95
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    PUDGY WUDGY

    Birthday
    Front: It's your birthday, which means you should spoil yourself. Inside: Maybe just lay off the cake. You're looking kinda pudgy.
    $5.95
  • Sale!
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    THE KOALA HATES YOU

    Birthday
    Front: It's your birthday. Inside: But don't expect special treatment, I don't like you that much.
    Original price was: $5.95.Current price is: $1.95.
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